Ask Honey: Communicating With My Adult Son

Dear Honey, My youngest son is divorced and remarried, he lives in FL and his oldest son who is 11 lives near us in KY.  We have a great relationship with my grandson's mother.  My problem is that I don't feel my son is doing right by my grandson.  He hasn't been back to KY for almost 2 years.  How do I help my grandson.  I have so much anger built up in me against my son for putting my grandson through the things he has?  I see the difference he makes between the two children he has that live with him and the one that lives near us.  I love my son but I am so disappointed in his actions.   I want to reassure my grandson that his grandma and grandpa will always be a part of his life and that he means the world to us.  Do you have any suggestions?

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Dear Thoughtful Gramma, Your actions are his reassurance. A happy relationship with his mother and your devotion gives your grandson a stable home life. On another front, ‘fathers are not mothers’ is an old and true saying. My advice is to tell your grandson that his father loves him and that you love your son. Keeping the door open between father and son is important.