Ask Honey: How Do I Help My Wife Find Her Passion

Dear Honey, I love reading your work. You are so kind and so professional. I was wondering if such a successful and accomplished woman like yourself would be able give me a little advice for a situation that my wife and I are currently dealing with.

I am a fairly successful restaurateur, and I make a comfortable living. I am in my 50's and my wife is 10 years younger than myself. We have been married for 24 years, and have two children. My wife has never wanted for anything as long as we have been together, and it has always been one of my highest priorities (if not THE highest) to be able to provide her with whatever she desires. She is supportive and kind and loving, so, as a husband, it is the least I can do.

Lately, however, as our children have grown up and gone off to college, my wife no longer has as much of a full-time responsibility in raising our kids, and she seems to have become just a little bit bored. She has expressed the desire to me that she wants to start her own business.

I have been 200% supportive with my wife in her search for her passion, but she seems to get really excited about one thing and then the next week it is a whole new thing. One day she wants to be an interior designer, the next day she wants to write a novel, the next day she wants to be a culture consultant for different businesses.

Without any previous work experience, and without any particular talents, what kind of business could be right for my wife? I'm willing to support her dreams emotionally and financially, but I really want her to find the right fit and to stick with it. What was your secret to finding your calling? Please help.

Sincerely, Mark

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Dear Mark,

Your story is familiar because it sounds very much like my story…a very supportive husband and a restless wife with absolutely no business experience seeking a new purpose. I am going to give you the advice that was given to me by a woman I had just met.

Her advice worked for me and hopefully it will work for your wife. She said to me, “keep a journal for three months writing down what ever thoughts come to mind.” I responded, “I can’t keep a journal. I don’t know how to write!” And then she said, “If you keep your journal, I promise you…you will find your voice!" Her words, “you will find your voice” were so powerful that I made up my mind to listen. At the end of the three months I reread my journal and realized my purpose and my passion.

I loved to write, had earned my phD in life and wanted to share my life experiences with women, of all ages, on the “family tree.” Your wife may realize at the end of three months of journaling she should put all of her effort into interior design, become a consultant or a writer or maybe something she never imagined. Fortunately you have a passion for one another and there is no better purpose in life than that!

My very best,  Honey