Ask Honey: How Do I Keep In Touch With My Grandson

Hi Honey, I have one grandson who I love very much, he'll be 11 years old in March. He lives in Florida and I live in New York. We see each other once or twice a year. He visits me every summer for a few weeks and I visit him during the holidays. I look forward to speaking to him on the phone or texting. I call him a few times a month. However, he doesn't text or call me that often. He stays in touch right after we've seen each other then the calls and texts stop. I would like to hear from him more often and have spoken to him about it. I also sent him a card with a few self addressed envelopes to encourage him to write or send me some of his artwork. He never utilized the envelopes. I would like to know, am I expecting too much? Please help, I'm frustrated.

Diane

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Dear Diane,

As a grandmother of twenty grandchildren, whose grandchildren live all across our wonderful country, I know how you are feeling. You are not alone. Most grandmothers living apart from their grandchildren feel as you do. How you manage to handle “the distance of miles” is what counts. The ball is in your court, because you are expecting too much from your grandson. He is a little boy with a full life. I came to this decision with my grandson when I became a grandmother for the first time. I knew it was up to me to make a relationship across the miles. Today, I am his second mother.

You are off to a great start with your visits. How you handle yourself when you are together really matters. My motto is unconditional love. Period. When you are apart you must initiate weekly emails asking him what is going on in his life and telling him how much you love him. I did this and through emails, texts and Skype my grandson and I continued to bond across the miles. I helped him with a problem. I showed my excitement when something great happened. I sent “keepsakes” through the mail. I was “out of site but never out of mind.” I knew the ball was in my court. I rose to the occasion. I have done this with all my grandchildren and because of my effort, I am loved, respected and they all know I am “only a phone call away.”

Be the best grandmother and you will feel “good.”

Warmly, Honey