How to Handle Your Child Moving Out


By Carole Montgomery. My son will be 23 next week and at the end of the month he's moving to Los Angeles to pursue his dreams. I am thrilled for him. I've always taught him to think out of the box and to boldly go where no-one has gone, you get my drift.

When he moved out the first time three years ago, that was a huge jolt. The night before he left we spent hours listening to music that we knew would make each other cry and we wept. Mostly for the passing of his childhood. I loved being a mom and I still do. The drives to school, the Little League games, the tons of kids passing through my home at various ages.

But being a mom is so different now. He still needs me, but in less obvious ways. The 18 months he lived away from my husband and myself was good for all of us. I slowly accepted the fact that my son was an adult and could take care of himself, not an easy reality for a mother to take in.

Here's my public service announcement: Attention moms of small kids, brace yourself.

One day you're wiping his tears and the next he's bringing home his future wife. It happens that quick. When he moved back, it was if he'd never left. We all fell back into the routine of being one big happy family, except now when the kids came over I was throwing out beer cans and not soda cans.

I know he needs to be on his own. I did the same thing around his age. I often wonder what my mom felt when I left to explore my dreams. But he's moving 3,000 miles away. I think that's what bothers me the most. I can't get to him if there's an emergency. Thankfully I lived on the west coast and have a group of moms who have already committed to mom duty if need be. We're kinda like the underground railroad for adult kids. So he's covered until I can get out there.

So, my advice to my son, and maybe this will ring true for other mothers in a similar situation:

  1. Go and live your life.
  2. Leap as if someone will always catch you.
  3. Take chances while you're still young, once you get "old" it's much harder to do.
  4. Call your mother sometime and answer her texts!
  5. Figure out how to do laundry.