How To Put The Sizzle Back Into A Long Marriage

By Susan "Honey" Good

Some of you, dear readers, have been married for 20, 30, 40 or more than 50 years! And while a long-term relationship can have significant rewards -- as well as challenges -- such as having a partner to share your joys and sorrows with, keeping the sizzle alive can be difficult.

Let me be clear, I'm not writing about friendship, companionship, partnership... I am talking SIZZLE! Do you follow me, friends?

If the sizzle is lacking in your marriage, and if it's something you want to change, today I am sharing some surprisingly easy ways to reignite the flames of passion with your long-term partner. But, make no mistake, while these suggestion are easy to implement, they also require creativity and commitment.  

When your relationship began, you may have been wildly in love. And yet, over time, you begin to focus your attention on work, home, children, grandchildren more and less on keeping the sizzle alive.  A life without sizzle works for some, but for others it feels as if something is missing. 

So, let's put the heat back in your marriage. Here's how...

Step one- You have a problem and you want to fix it. Admitting that to yourself, and likely even to your partner, is the first step in reigniting a hot romance. Can you have an honest conversation about the state of your sex life? Yes, you can.

Step two- Break out of your rut and try something new! Routine is the enemy of passion. Do not stop trying new things! Commit to new adventures, new activities and new experiences. No, I am not speaking of new sexual experiences here - I am speaking of new adventures that will thrill you to the core, make you laugh + live together and remind you both that your partnership is full of excitement and possibility, all based in love.

Here's a tip: Make a monthly "adventure date" and do something with your partner that the two of you have never done together before!

Step three- Have a conversation. Mental stimulation really does stimulate other aspects of your marriage or partnership, too. Even debating -- when done respectfully -- can help keep things interesting. Meals are a great time to connect - get to know each other in new ways, as if you are dating again. 

Need help finding topics to discuss? There are some wonderful ideas in this list via

Name three countries you would like to visit.

How would you spend 10,000,000 dollars? 

If you could try out a new occupation for a year, what would it be?

If you could rewind to any point in your past, what would you want to relive?

If you could take lessons to become an expert at anything, what would it be?

How would you spend a perfect day alone?

What would you want us to do together for the next ten years if you knew they were our last?

What’s the most honest thing you have ever done?

Hollywood called, they want to make a movie about your life, who would play you?

Name one thing you miss about our dating years? (Then talk about how you can make it a part of your dating again.)

Step four- Talk about sex. Yes, I said it. Be frank about your fantasies and what you desire from your partner. If you are not sure where to start, start by reminiscing about the things your partner did when you first married that excited you. 

"Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses." - Lao Tzu

Put your head, your heart and your senses to work and you can, most certainly, reignite the passions in your relationship. Be brave, dear readers, and if you want it, go after it!