How To Survive: Feeling Incompatible With Your Lifestyle

By: Honey Good

My winter season in Palm Springs, California is coming to an end and I begin to catalog my thoughts as I pack to return to my permanent home in beautiful Chicago. With Orchid, my Wheaton Terrier, lying by my side and the cool breeze flowing into the room, I daydream about the past six months and realize how different this season was from the past several seasons of my life in Palm Springs. I had an epiphany today, a moment of sudden insight, and happily smiled and thought to myself, "Why did it take me so long to realize how to become more compatible with my lifestyle in Palm Springs, California."

Unintentionally, I had isolated my entire life around resort style living, which isn’t bad, but for my type of persona not enough to bring fulfillment. I ‘only’ thought of myself as a snowbird, not a Palm Springs resident. Therefore, I hadn’t considered playing an active role in a community that was not my home. I was starving to find compatibility with my life in Palm Springs and it was staring me right in my face!

Take a moment before reading on and think about your own life. Are you feeling a lack of fulfillment? If you are please sit yourself down with a cup of hot tea or coffee and rethink your past. Ask yourself, what made my heart sing? Go after it darling and rekindle that spark. You are the mistress of your own fate!

 And now back to my story...

One day quite by chance a door opened to take on the role of chairman of a charitable event in Rancho Mirage, a tiny charming little 'burb next door to Palm Springs, where my husband and I have the good fortune to live.  The Chairmanship was for one year with the added responsibility of being on the board for two years. I grabbed at the chance and said, “yes” and felt an excited rush run through me!

And, then quite out of the blue a light bulb went off. I was a frustrated snowbird! I was blaming my unhappiness on loving orchids over cacti, loving the sea over the desert and though my preferences are orchids and ocean it was really something far bigger. I hadn’t realized I wanted to be involved in the community even though Chicago was home!

I was on my way to re-establishing my persona.

That led me to making a call to the Tolerance Center in Rancho Mirage to consider bringing in a number one New York Times best selling novel by Ambassador Yehuda Avner, The Prime Ministers: The Pioneers. The book was made into a documentary film, directed by Richard Trank and Rabbi Marvin Heir, the head of the Simon Wiesenthal Museum in Los Angeles. The head of the Center jumped at the chance! The event was such a resounding successes that the film was brought back a second time! Again, I felt exhilarated. And then one night…

In the middle of April my husband and I gave a small dinner party. I remember saying to one of my girlfriends, “I think I would love to go on the Palm Springs Museum MAC board!”

She told me to contact a mutual friend to see if there was availability. I decided that I would. And I did. You see darlings, you must not stop with a thought…you must live into your answer.

Her response was, “I can ask anyone I want and I want you. You will meet some fabulous women in the community.”

I told her, “I am thrilled! 

I had no foreshadowing that taking on the task of running one charitable event would lead me back into a very important part of my life that had brought me so much joy since my early twenties.

My experience hopefully will lead you down the path of being compatible with your life. Don’t stay stuck, like I did. Search for your answer if you are feeling punk. Look into your mirror and ask yourself, “What gives me great satisfaction?”

Our lives are our palette. We are the 'artists in residence of our fate.’ So, start painting darlings!! I promise you, like me, you will ‘hear your heart sing.”

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