How to Survive: Is Sugar and Spice Really "Everything" Nice?

By: Honey Good

I have always wished for a sister. As a little girl I observed the love between my mother and her sister. They spoke daily. I would hear them laughing and whispering and sometimes arguing and then more inside laughter. They were my ‘fabulousness’ role–models! I learned the meaning of loyalty, forgiveness, and empathy from these incredible women.

Girlfriends offer so much. We make laugher together, give each other advice on every womanly topic under the sun, share stories and have our own language. On a darker side I have been witness to a lot of ‘sugar and spice’ that is not very nice; directed to other women and to me. It can be as little as a look!

So I did some research and found that sociologists and psychologists agree on this fact: Females tend to be very judgmental beginning at a young age. Young girls learn early on to gossip, form cliques, and turn on one another! And it gets worse as they get older. I read over 60% of working women are bullied by other women in the workplace. It is all part of ‘the not so nice characteristic’ of women. The schooled authorities do not have an answer.  

Darlings, I think friendships with women are checkered. I have had women in my life do the most unexpected extraordinary marvelous things for me. I have, on the other hand, felt betrayed and disillusioned. These experiences both filled with sugar and negative spice left me conflicted.

But that was then and this is now. I have come to terms with women and the first important fact is: I realize the value of having my girlfriends. I would be lost without the chitter-chatter and bantering back and forth with them. I need them. They need me!

This is my healthy prescription of how to find ‘the sugar’ in women friends. First and foremost you must realize your own value. Secondly, you should reach out and acquire new friends who have those values.

Now you are on your way, darlings!

The next step I call "shedding unwanted emotional weight". Say bye-bye to toxic women in your life! And now remember: Don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed. Girlfriends have so much on their plate just as you do, so be flexible.

You want your friendships to be solid and meaningful. This requires your effort.

If there was a friendship you valued that went astray mend your bridges if possible.  

If someone hurts you and asks for your forgiveness I hope you will forgive them if the infraction is forgivable.

Do something GOOD today: call your girlfriends and tell them you are glad they are in your life.

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