By: Honey Good
I have always wished for a sister. As a little girl I observed the love between my mother and her sister. They spoke daily. I would hear them laughing and whispering and sometimes arguing and then more inside laughter. They were my ‘fabulousness’ role–models! I learned the meaning of loyalty, forgiveness, and empathy from these incredible women.
Girlfriends offer so much. We make laugher together, give each other advice on every womanly topic under the sun, share stories and have our own language. On a darker side I have been witness to a lot of ‘sugar and spice’ that is not very nice; directed to other women and to me. It can be as little as a look!
So I did some research and found that sociologists and psychologists agree on this fact: Females tend to be very judgmental beginning at a young age. Young girls learn early on to gossip, form cliques, and turn on one another! And it gets worse as they get older. I read over 60% of working women are bullied by other women in the workplace. It is all part of ‘the not so nice characteristic’ of women. The schooled authorities do not have an answer.
Darlings, I think friendships with women are checkered. I have had women in my life do the most unexpected extraordinary marvelous things for me. I have, on the other hand, felt betrayed and disillusioned. These experiences both filled with sugar and negative spice left me conflicted.
But that was then and this is now. I have come to terms with women and the first important fact is: I realize the value of having my girlfriends. I would be lost without the chitter-chatter and bantering back and forth with them. I need them. They need me!
This is my healthy prescription of how to find ‘the sugar’ in women friends. First and foremost you must realize your own value. Secondly, you should reach out and acquire new friends who have those values.
Now you are on your way, darlings!
The next step I call "shedding unwanted emotional weight". Say bye-bye to toxic women in your life! And now remember: Don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed. Girlfriends have so much on their plate just as you do, so be flexible.
You want your friendships to be solid and meaningful. This requires your effort.
If there was a friendship you valued that went astray mend your bridges if possible.
If someone hurts you and asks for your forgiveness I hope you will forgive them if the infraction is forgivable.
Do something GOOD today: call your girlfriends and tell them you are glad they are in your life.
For more Friendship Advice, click here.
By Susan "Honey" Good
I mentioned the other day how time flies. I know that so many of us feel this way. However, there is a way to slow things down. It is called mindfulness.
What is Mindfulness?
A very basic example of mindfulness is this: While taking a morning walk, rather than running through your to do list for the day or ruminating about a misunderstanding with your partner yesterday, you pay attention to the feelings in your body. You hear the rustling of the leaves; you feel the warmth of the sunshine. You marvel at the rainbow of flowers lining your path and the beautiful world, in general, that surrounds you. You are mindful.
Mindfulness means being actively attentive to the present moment. Mindfulness promises to allow you to enjoy each moment without letting life pass you by. You focus on the sensations of your current experience rather than dwelling on past problems or future worries.
By: Honey Good
The coat was the most gorgeous fur piece I had ever seen in my twenty-six years and it was a gift for me. My late husband, Michael, surprised me with a long-haired Russian Lynx coat. I was in triple shock!
By Lisa Copeland, Guest Contributor
If you want an Alpha Man in your life – and most of my clients who are Alpha Women always tell me they do – what I’m going to share with you today is important information you’ll want to know and remember.
At work, my client, Elizabeth is an Alpha Female.
By Susan "Honey" Good
Today, I am going to use myself as a case study. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, girlfriend and entrepreneur. My life like yours, dear friends, consists of intermingling with all types of people and issues. Most of my conversations are normal daily chatter. I laugh, debate, consult, compromise, mediate and even haggle. I am an extrovert and enjoy the art of conversation.
After age 50 we are usually empty nesters, foot loose and fancy free. We may be faced with many contrasting reasons to build new friendships after 50.
I suspect the main reasons are a move to a new city, no more PTA, friends retire and move, widowhood or divorce and the emotional need to reach out to new and multiple groups because you desire to expand your horizons. You have entered a new passage of life and are looking to change your life pattern.
So darlings, I have found through my personal experience of moving, widowhood and children leaving home that you don’t put the cart before the horse. What do I mean by this?
Don’t look for friends, look for groups and settings where others share your purpose and passion. Friendships will develop from the group or groups you join.
Every child wants to have friends and be part of ‘a group.’
With our guiding principles we should play a role in educating our Grands on the principles of friendship, so they can choose the right friends and groups and avoid the fickle, fake, back stabbers and poor role models.
Teaching Grandchildren, through story telling, is my manner of imparting a message. I choose to tell my Olive tree story by using the tree as a symbol and guide of what characteristics to look for a group.
The Olive Tree Story
I remembered an incident in my life after reading my writer friend, Barbara Ballinger’s story, "What’s in a name" here. Her story sparked a personal memory dating back twenty-six years ago.
After attending a Friday night Sabbath service, in the oldest synagogue in Europe, my intoxicating and over the top romance with Sheldon Good almost came to an end. It was over a name.
From the moment I met Sheldon Good for the first time, I was hooked. As I write this story I envision his silhouette twenty-six years later. I see him getting out of his car in a grey suit, blue shirt, and beautiful tie. I was hooked before we spoke! He was hooked, too, seeing me walk out the revolving door of my parent’s condo building in a white silk shirt, black and white hounds tooth jacket and pleated black shirt and of course, darlings, red lipstick and high heeled shoes!
We’ve been facing a dilemma of late. How do we refer to the men we date when out in public and we want to introduce them?
US: Oh hi, Mrs. Wagner, this is my boyfriend, Bob. (At which point, she looks at us incredulously because he’s not a boy – in his 60s in Barbara’s case, or in his 70s, as in Margaret’s. And he’s certainly more than a friend.)
It was so easy when we were younger… but wasn’t everything? Long before we turned 50, he was a boyfriend and before that a date. Now that we are skipping down the path of senior citizenship or have arrived, the term sounds so teenager-ish, like trying to wear our skirts too short or our hair too long.
Last Sunday our Grand, Joe Good, called to check in. His grandfather spoke to him for about 10 minutes. I am not his natural grandmother and I spoke to him for 30.
A few years ago I initiated a plan that I hoped would establish a closer bond with this Grand of mine because…
Joe’s and my life is separated by several thousands of miles, sometimes continents and as mentioned, I am not his natural grandmother.
I am telling you my story so you ‘don’t give up the ship’ if you are in my situation. Remember, ‘where there is a will, there is always a way.’ But, your will must come from the heart.
Here is my story.
Many of us grandmothers are not able to be part of our grandchildren’s lives for many reasons and unfortunately, not just distance. But distance is by far the largest denominator.
What can you do to stay consistently relevant in your Grands lives?
Darlings, I accidentally, though there are no accidents, came up with a very meaningful and worthwhile way!
CONSIDER TEXTING OR EMAILING YOUR GRANDS… ONE QUOTE A DAY.
Here is my true story.