How to Survive: Middle Age and Beyond

By: Honey Good

I take pleasure knowing that we are not women of yesteryear! Why? Because in today’s world we make choices that our mothers and grandmothers couldn’t make! How lucky is that?!

Think about all that you do that your grandmother never imagined and you should already feel a weight lifted off of your shoulders, because you have the opportunity to breeze through your passages of life, darlings…you just have to assert yourself and not allow yourself to get into a rut.

I know that midlife is a transition for women. Our children have left home or are about to leave and we are faced with deciding our next role; our parents are aging; our marriages may be boring or we are faced with separation or divorce; we have health scares and our faces and bodies are not what they once were.

On the other hand, we have a new found freedom. Our children leave the nest; we have the opportunity to realize our untapped potential. A freedom to travel, to read, to spend time with our spouse and girlfriends and time to nurture ourselves.

So darlings, we can face our challenges heavy hearted or we can accept our new passage with enthusiasm. I prefer the latter. I have lived fearlessly with positivity and anticipation for what lies ahead tomorrow. And so can you. And more importantly, so should you.

Here is some Honey Good advice that I practice.

  1. Change one thing in your life: There is something exhilarating about even the littlest change.
  2. Find your own voice: Be opinionated. Take a stand in what you believe in. It is energizing!
  3. Decide what you can tolerate: Make a list of what you can no longer tolerate and stop tolerating. It’s a life changer.
  4. Edit your friendship list: My rule of thumb is “Choose friends who have your values. Open up to women who have other interests than your own… you will grow.”
  5. Spend time on yourself: My mother is ninety-four. We were having dinner a few nights ago at Gibson’s Restaurant in Chicago when a young man walked up to her and asked, “Are you a movie star?” So my advice to you darlings, spend time on yourself and make yourself beautiful. Every age has its beauty.
  6. Travel: We all have different sized pocketbooks. Travel can be going to a new museum, visiting a close, out of town girlfriend or having the opportunity to reach out and see the world. It’s a trip! It is an adventure. It is growth.
  7. Family: Pass your knowledge on to your grandchildren. Invest your time in teaching them values. You are the Matriarch of your family. Your wisdom sends messages they, hopefully, will always cherish and keep in their heads. You will feel worthwhile.
  8. A possible new beginning: Reach for your goal. Maybe you want to involve yourself in a charity? Maybe you want to get a degree? Maybe you want to move to a new community? Maybe you want to start a business? Maybe you want to end your marriage? Do it!
  9. Be sexy: Revel in your womanhood. Put on that red lipstick! Go out and get a new ‘do’ with color or cut. Don’t live in black. Wear high heels and strut your stuff!! Look at my mom who is ninety-four, taken as a movie star by a young guy! If she can do it…you can do it better.

I will leave you with the two important words… choice and attitude.

You have to make choices. You can choose left and stay stuck or you can choose right and reach for your silver lining. It is all about a positive attitude, darlings.

My philosophy: My positive attitude gives me latitude!

I hope my philosophy becomes yours, because I can tell you from experience that it works. My attitude has always been my road to success. I have had a few very heavy glitches along the way but I picked myself up and started all over again. And that too becomes intoxicating. Because we are women and we have the wonderful ability…to ROAR!

Do something GOOD today…ROAR with a positive attitude!

Photography by Hallie Duesenberg

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