Increase Romance Using Love Languages

LoveLanguages

By Megan Broadhead. Yesterday, I was preparing this post when my husband texted me out of the blue and said:

Megan, I think we do a great job of loving each other in the way that we individually want to be loved, but not always in the way the other person wants to be loved.

Oh, the irony. Also, can you tell he’s married to a therapist?

FACT: We often love others in the ways we prefer to be shown love.

Sometimes it is easier to verbalize what we need and what we aren't getting from our partner, but what about what our partners need from us to feel loved? They might not be the same things. Seeing the world from another's eyes requires extra effort and insight- as anyone who has been in a long-term relationship can attest.

Let’s explore specific ways you can increase romance in your relationship while honoring your partner's love language.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Saying “I love you” is great, but listing the reasons why? Even better. To this person, actions do not always speak louder than words!

Get your romance on:

  • Give your partner a card detailing your love and appreciation with very specific examples and details.
  • Take your partner on a date with the theme of a “trip down memory lane”. Recreate different parts of your relationship and, with each step, communicate to your partner when and why you began to fall in love, when you learned specific things about him or her, etc.

QUALITY TIME

A person who values quality time craves your full, undivided attention void of the TV, laptop, cell phone, tasks, etc.

Get your romance on:

  • Give your partner a “date of the month” card each month. Intentional effort to create a space where quality time is at a high will go a long way.
  • Have a night out sans technology. Leave your cell phones at home (or at least hidden in the glove compartment) and fully soak up each others company.

RECEIVING GIFTS

Do not confuse this language with materialism. A person who feels loved through receiving gifts appreciates the effort and sacrifice entailed in the giving of gifts.

Get your romance on:

  • Give a gift that is well thought out and unique to your partner. Details matter. Remember her favorite flower and give these instead of something generic. Surprise him with a gift card to his favorite restaurant in his lunch bag.
  • Take your partner on a date. Start the date by presenting him or her with an outfit that you personally picked out, bought, and wrapped.

ACTS OF SERVICE

Ease the burden of responsibilities. Volunteer to vacuum, do dishes, pick up the kids, etc. Use the words, “Let me do that for you” often.

Get your romance on:

  • There’s nothing quite like being able to take a day off from chores, care-taking of kids, errand-running, etc., and knowing that these things are still getting done. Offer to take on your partner’s role for a day.
  • Do the one thing that has been on his or her list for days, but that he or she is loathing (Ex: Calling AT&T for the 31,437,829th time this month).

PHYSICAL TOUCH

Don’t think this one is ALL about the bedroom- though it definitely IS about the bedroom. Touch is very important to this person, and physical access to his or her partner is crucial.

Get your romance on:

  • Give daily 30 second hugs.
  • Give “hello” and “goodbye” kisses.
  • Plan to spend a Saturday morning in bed. Do whatever you want there as long as you’re touching…

On that note, go on and practice loving each other!