Don't Forget Your Manners: "Peas and Tank You"

Manners

There are days that I turn on the TV and I am appalled at what is going on in our society. Every day the news shows us another story where someone did something awful. It seems many people have lost the values that many of us were brought up with. I have to wonder—where is the responsibility? Where is the discipline? Where is the leadership? Where are the standards? As grandmothers and mothers, we have responsibilities as the matriarchs of our families. I believe we can make a difference by our involvement within our family. We are the mature spokesperson within the family unit. Take time talking to your hildren about VALUES. Every day there is a life experience where you can bring up a value word to expound upon.

One of the best words to use with our children is the word STANDARD. A person with standards has good values. We have to have a mind-set to use daily experiences to point out issues. We can even do this with our youngest children as they learn to say “peas” and “tank you.” We are not disciplining. We are speaking or showing in a nuturing manner. I am lucky and so are my grandchildren because I am blessed with that type of personality. I do not criticize. Why? Because I do not like to be criticized! I don’t know anyone who likes to be criticized, so I try and think how I felt at their age. And then act in an appropriate manner to get my point across.

Always remember, we are of a different generation and that is powerful. We have experienced everything they are going to experience. We know what it feels like to have the courage to take a stand. And on the other side of the coin, we also know the feeling of following the crowd when we knew we shouldn't.

I try and relate a story of my life at their age. Sometimes my stories are positive about my decision. Sometimes my stories are negative about my decision. In both cases I end my story with a VALUE and a STANDARD. For example, when I purchase a present for one of my grandchildren, no matter their age, I tie it to a true story of a happening in my life—a story that sets an example. That a gift has meaning, which is the value called love. A gift costs money, which is the value called work. It makes me more real. I am not perfect either. Children and grandchildren can relate. As mothers and grandmothers should use the word value when talking to our young ones.

It is just the way my mind has always worked. Nothing happens in life just because. There is always a cause and an effect.