By Lisa Copeland, Guest Contributor
Ever feel like you make a lot of mistakes when it comes to dating in your 50's? I know I sure did! Over 50’s dating mistakes happen all the time. The good thing is once you know what these mistakes are, you can course correct and take a different path.
In today’s blog, I’m going to share with you the three most common over 50’s dating mistakes I see women making every day that keeps them alone and single.
Mistake #1: Falling In Love With A Man’s Potential
Ever meet a man you thought might be a pretty good catch if only you could fix him up a little bit? Know what I’m talking about? Chances are you do because as a woman you’re designed to look for the potential in people.
However, falling in love with a man’s potential sets you up to fail at finding the relationship you want because men don’t want to be your project.
A male friend told me this story about a woman he’d started dating. He invited her to his home.
She walked in and immediately began assessing the potential of his kitchen.
She told him why he should remove the wallpaper, where to place each appliance so the layout would be more efficient and what color to paint the cabinets so they would be in style.
What she did with his kitchen is exactly what women do all the time to men -- they try to make a man into a better version of himself. To get the true love relationship you want this year, fall for the man in front of you, not his potential.
Mistake #2: Looking for Mr. Perfect
Divorce is hard on the soul and the idea of making another relationship mistake can be terrifying. To protect yourself, you unconsciously start looking for the 'Perfect Man.'
Over time, your list of qualities grows longer and longer and if he’s missing even one ‘must-have quality’, he doesn’t stand a chance with you.
Looking for Mr. Perfect means you’re playing it safe. You’re guarding your heart so you won’t get hurt again.
Here is a dating mantra I share with my private clients that is perfect for you too: You will experience practice relationships.
You might get hurt along the way, but you will also have moments of pure joy and bliss that you’ll never experience hiding behind the hunt for the perfect man.
Mistake #3 (and probably the biggest!): Immediate Chemistry
Ever experience hot chemistry with a man? It feels mighty good, as it should because you’re releasing the bonding hormone, Oxytocin, like it is your job.
The problem with this type of chemistry is you move swiftly into the bedroom and end up turning a blind eye to the man’s faults.
You might move in together or find yourself engaged within months of meeting without really knowing much about this person other than the sex is hot. Secon marriages are often based on this type of chemistry and the reason they are over in the blink of an eye is because a friendship was left out of the equation.
The best chemistry is one that’s slow burning because it’s sustainable. Sometimes it might not appear until the third or fourt date.
I remember going on three dates with a man and feeling nothing, not even a little spark. On the fourt date, he reached across the table to touch my face and suddenly the chemistry and attraction kicked in.
Maybe we were smarter in our youth than we thought. We weren’t looking for immediate chemistry. We just had fun hanging out together, laughing, playing and getting to know each other. Could it be worth trying again at this time in your life?
You might find a slow burn turns into a hot sizzle based on the total connection you create with a man versus just a connection based on chemistry.
You owe yourself a chance to find true love after 50. Here’s how these women have turned their love lives around:
"Lisa, our call last night was awesome! What I learned has really made me think. You are the BEST coach. Thanks for helping women... this is so difficult." -- Lyn, Illinois
"Lisa...thank you for the great insight into myself and men. I met a wonderful man in August on Match and we are MADLY in LOVE!!!!! He is perfect for me. He appreciates me as a woman and all of my girly girlness, which is funny considering I had no clue what that even meant before working with you. Thank you so much." -- Vi
"I’ve always invested in myself when it came to business and doing so always put me ahead in the game. I’d never thought to do this in my personal life when it came to dating, but I’m glad I did. Working with Lisa has been the best emotional and financial investment in myself I could have made. It has made my life with men far more fun and so much easier. I am having a great time dating quality men. Thank you Lisa." -- Shelley, Michigan
Are you curious about how you can stop making mistakes when dating in your 50’s and start attracting true love and a good man into your life? If so, let's set up a time to talk about what your next step is.
Tell me a little about yourself and what is happening by clicking this link: Talk to Lisa.
Lisa Copeland - Author
Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50's dating. She's the best-selling author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50 and her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your FREE Report, "5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man," visit www.findaqualityman.com.