Relationships with a Retired Husband

By: Honey Good

You know the saying darlings, “For better or for worse, but not for lunch!”

I mention this statement because I am the wife of a semi-retired husband!

I am caught in the middle of a dilemma. I am "darned if I do"…because…I am so busy all day and I am "darned if I don’t"…because I adore my husband! This is a "catch 22" for many of us with husbands who no longer work full time, and a heads up for women who will eventually face this situation. The truth of the matter is our men need us!

My conversation with my husband seems to go like this…everyday! He asks:

“Where have you been all day?”

“Who called you today?”

“What did you write today?”

“Where are we going tonight?”

Our conversation when he was working sixty hours a week and traveling for business sounded like this. I would ask him everyday…

“How were things at the office today?”

“How did your important meeting go today?”

“What business or charitable dinner commitments should I put on the calendar this month?”

My husband, Sheldon Good, is no shrinking violet! He is still very much involved and interested in everything he touches. But not sixty hours a week! What’s a wife to do?

I surmise this: when our husbands or significant others were mainly career driven, their minds were filled to capacity with how to make and keep their money for their families security. The wheels were always turning. When they slow down their minds relax; they only do what gives them pleasure thus have additional time on their hands. They need us!

Women on the other hand are so busy, they are dizzy! Age has no bearing on our slowing down. We are busy all day with family, friends, charities, home, career and our list never ends! We, darlings, are multi-taskers!

I decided to pose two questions to my husband over our daily cup of coffee together.

“What are your three top priorities?"

“Are you ‘really happy’ you have slowed down?”

Without hesitating for a moment, he looked up at me and said,

“My three top priorities are you, you and you!”

“Yes, I am happy I slowed down! I worked all my life so I wouldn’t have to work all my life.”

I was more than overwhelmed and touched by his first response but wished he had said he missed the business world!

I have concluded with certainty that: we, darlings, continue to use our voice and adapt to change all of our lives. When our husbands or significant others slow down in business, it seems a part of them does the same.


This is my thinking: I am reminded of a day last week. The phone rang in our apartment. It was Shelly.

“What are you doing right now?" It was around four o’clock.

“I just finished brushing Orchid and I am writing my blog.”

“I am in the park with spare time. Just finished my book by Daniel Silva. Love to tell you about it. Why don’t you come down for a while so we can talk."

“Oh God,” I say to myself. “Just what I do not want to do at this moment!”

But instead I say sweetly,

“Of course I will come down. See you in a few.”

Why? Because darlings, I love my husband!

I close my laptop, put a leash on Orchid, and take the elevator down to the park directly across the street.

I remember my feelings that day as I sat in the park with my “lonesome” husband and sweet Orchid. I felt so grateful. My husband loves me. He is interested in me. He wants to be with me. I sat there smiling to myself and thought, "I am so lucky he asks me, "Where have you been all day?"

Tomorrow I will make him lunch and smile.

So what should you do?

“Prioritize! Your most important priority, above all else, is your partner! Take care of him darlings…or somebody else might!"

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