RELATIONSHIPS: You Can Ruin Your Life When You Do Not Forgive, Even After 50

By Susan "Honey" Good

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Gandhi

People will hurt you. It is important to understand that some people’s egos prevent them from admitting they hurt you, though I am certain they feel remorse on some level.  

Whether it is a family member, a friend, a business associate or whomever, when you have the ability to forgive others, you help yourself. You are ridding yourself of negative feelings that are holding you hostage. Forgiving a person, even when you are appalled by their actions, is a blessing. You stop being blinded by negative feelings and focus on what is truly important in your life — harmony, positivity, love and growth. 

It is spring time, which means it is also Passover and Easter — so why not clean up your soul? For those on the receiving end, consider taking action. It is lovely to be the bigger person. Think about calling a meeting of the minds. The meeting may or may not be perfect because there are all types of personalities, but you will have a cleansed soul.

HOW TO LET GO OF YOUR ANGER

It’s a hard thing to let anger go, even after the age of 50. You are certain that person did it with full intent, cruelty or viciousness and you feel all kinds of emotion ranging from pain to anger and even rage.

On the other side of the coin, I want you to think of the person that ‘did you wrong.’  Remember that unless that person is a sociopath, someone who lacks a conscience, they feel remorse too. 

You would think we grande dames over 50 would have learned how to forgive others, but it is hard at any age. Here are a few ideas to motivate you.

  • Forgive someone for yourself: Hanging onto anger is detrimental.
  • To err is human: Acknowledge everyone makes mistakes.  
  • Do not dwell on the bad thing(s) that happened: This will clear a path to forgiveness.
  • It takes too much negative energy to horde anger: To like and to love is a natural instinct, to hate and be filled with anger is not.
  • What people do and say is really about them: Take into consideration that this is not about you. 
  • Forgiving frees you from the burden of unnecessary stress. 

REMEMBER: Once you forgive, time will stop you from feeling the pain.

I believe you will never regret forgiving. I know because I forgave and it was so uplifting. I took the middle person (the past) out of my thoughts. I realized taking out the past was the key to forgiving. I now think of the person and myself in the present. I forgave six years ago and have reaped the benefit of forgiving 100 times over. I am so happy and more importantly, so is the other person. 

Happy Passover. Happy Easter. Happy forgiving.