I have friends whose company I enjoy for different reasons. When I think about it, we all do, I suppose. My girlfriend Patti is someone that I enjoy for all reasons and all seasons. That is why I was especially excited for last night -- we were invited to her home for dinner. “Come casual,” she said. That is part of Patti’s essence. She has no agenda. How far did we have to travel? Our condos are across the hall from one another.
I am fortunate to have a dear friend who is less than ten steps away. We used to take long walks outdoors together with Orchid in tow, Starbucks coffee in our hands and talk non-stop for at least an hour. That was before I broke my ankle. Now we sit in one of our kitchens with coffee and “girl talk.” A broken ankle does not stop us from spending time together.
What makes a friendship?
“To create a true friendship takes dedication, effort and time,” said my close friend Carolyn. She said those words twenty years ago, as we met in front of my house to take our daily walk on the beach in Honolulu. I never forgot her words.
To be very honest, only on rare occasions, do I make a concerted effort to bond with another woman. There has to be a magical magnet that draws me to her. First and foremost, I want to know about her moral compass and openness. From there it could be her intellect, her warmth, her ability to forgive, her positive energy, her likeness or her unlikeness. In short, it is all about her value.
I think of my girlfriend Patti across the hall as valuable in every way. We laugh together. We confide in one another. We learn from one another. We have no agenda. We can “just be.” We did not work on our friendship. Our friendship evolved because of who we are.
“Doing what comes naturally,” as the song goes, is the best way to a lasting friendship.
And talking about natural, I have to leave you with Peter’s (Patti’s husband) avocado dip recipe! It is delicious. Like a “good” friendship, it's a keeper.