By Susan "Honey" Good
Last night we were at an outdoor dinner party. There were five of us at our table. The perfect size for conversation. The night was balmy, the food was delicious and we were five people who had not been together for a long time. So conversation was not dull; we conversed on several topics as we tried to catch up on each other’s lives. We talked about fashion, politics, travel, pets, and then I heard Stephen, sitting next to my ultimate concierge, lean over and say, "You are the best husband I have ever seen." I heard my husband respond, "That is because she is a great wife." What makes Honey Good’s marriage work?
This morning, after making a fresh pot of brewed coffee for my husband and myself I walked Orchid and had a short eye-opening conversation on Freud with my girlfriend, Maria, who was off to a Black gospel music festival. I returned to our apartment in the sky, poured, my husband, a fresh cup of coffee with a donut, fed Orchid and lastly, before jumping into a warm shower, helped my ill pooch through her required exercises.
Lastly, before jumping into a warm shower where I do my best thinking, I thought about Stephen’s and Shelly’s short conversation. Their two sentences were short yet complex because what makes a marriage work is very complex.
So, I asked Shelly, "What makes our marriage work?" I am repeating his exact words and am a little embarrassed doing so...
"I have a physical attraction to you. You are beautiful. I am very proud to be your husband. You have a certain kindness, attentiveness. You are not overly aggressive. You are sensitive and loyal. You have that small town (Kankakee by the Sea!) attitude of an easy and joyful outlook and our excited about life and you are trusting and trustworthy. Above all you are loving."
I went on: what bothers you about our marriage?
"Since you started writing, I feel I am competing for your attention with HoneyGood.com."
I knew he was right and felt a pang in my heart of sadness and said to my husband, getting up to kiss him,
"I know you are right. I will try harder to redirect my time because you are the most important person in my life."
As I jumped into the shower, I thought to myself: I know what makes our marriage work.
We lay our cards on the table. We have no secrets. We are best friends. Many of our responsibilities we could do on our own, we do as a team. We have the same interests, tastes and goals. And I will end with this:
I am physically attracted to my husband, I think he is handsome and I am very proud to be his wife.
After finishing my diary for the day, I turned to my husband (so he would feel a part of HoneyGood.com)
"I just finished my story. Do you want to listen to my musings? I respect your thoughts (and I do!)"
"Yes, I always want to listen. I always want to advise you and help you."
I smiled to myself. I felt better. The pang in my heart lessened. I will redirect my time. It is called love.
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If you have something to say about marriage let’s talk! I want so much to hear your opinions + feelings. I also want you to speak up so that women our age remain visible. I think we have a responsibility to share our wisdom, don’t you? Share yours either in the comments below or on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.