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Can we get real here for a second about your over 50s dating life and your confidence in dating?
Here’s the deal… When I talk to any single woman over 50, I always ask how their dating life is going. The answer I get most often is that things really aren’t happening. Left to their own devices, most women aren’t being contacted by the men they’d like to date.
There were times I got frustrated over the course of my own dating journey because dating and men seemed more difficult than I thought they would be. Maybe it feels this way to you too?
If dating has made you feel like you’re driving with one foot on the brake and the other on the gas, wondering why you’re not meeting great guys to spend time with, I’d like to share something with you.
We both know that things like a great profile, knowing how to flirt and where to meet men are important parts of the dating journey you’re on. But if I’m being honest with you, the REAL reason for your success or failure has to do with what’s going on internally.
What really matters when dating over 50
Most women believe if they just had the right body, lived in a particular city or had more men to choose from, the relationship would come.
I know because I’ve been closely observing, teaching and championing unhappy single women over 50 for quite a while. And because I’ve been there too, here’s what I’ve discovered:
Your level of dating success isn’t about your looks or your weight as much as it is about how you approach dating. If you want to know the truth, it actually stems from your mindset, the fears and limiting beliefs you have about yourself and the men you want to date. And more importantly… that you might not feel ‘good enough’ to get the type of man you want.
I know it’s not something most dating mentors talk about openly, but I have discovered that your mindset is the ONE single thing that determines your level of success or failure in dating.
When you have a healthy mindset, your results transform often overnight and this translates to big breakthroughs in the quality of men who contact you and how many dates you go on.
Two steps to higher confidence
That’s why I want to give you two simple tips you can start doing right away to give your dating mindset and confidence in dating a major jumpstart.
First: Develop a knowing from your deepest core that you are a GREAT CATCH.
I do an exercise with my private coaching client in our first session together. The purpose is to remind them of the awesome qualities they are bringing to the relationship table. With no one continually reflecting your value to you on a daily basis, this is so easy to forget.
We create lists together of what they love about their body, their personality and their greatest passions in life. I write everything down and when they are done, I ask if I can tell them about a friend of mine. I read the list we’ve just created and listen to them giggle when they realize I am talking about them and not a friend.
As they listen, tears come to their eyes because for the first time in a very long time, they realize how amazing they truly are. This is a powerful exercise and it gives my clients the confidence boost they need. They begin to feel hope again in their love life as they realize they’re worthy of having the man they truly desire.
Second: Don’t do what I used to do one hour before a date.
When I first started dating in my 40s, I wore a lot of jeans and black tops, as in stylish t-shirts. My mindset was still in suburban mom mode where I’d wear these types of outfits to go and watch my kid’s softball and basketball games.
On date night, I’d try every t-shirt on in my closet and felt well, pretty yucky. Not girly or attractive like you want to feel on a date. Don’t suffer like I did. Go out and invest in two to three date-night outfits (they don’t have to be expensive) that make you feel like the amazing catch you are.
So, the point of all of this?
When you shift the level of confidence you project into the world, it can make a huge difference in the quality of men you start attracting. And it would feel pretty good to have a higher level of confidence in dating wouldn’t it?
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Lisa Copeland – Author
Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50’s dating. She’s the best-selling author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50 and her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your FREE Report, “5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man,” visit www.findaqualityman.com.