March is here. Spring is approaching, and our clocks will spring forward in the next few days. My mood feels like March – a mix of anticipation and renewal.

How I Forged Resilience Through Winter’s Trials

The trials of my winter have empowered and invigorated me. While I won’t miss the sleeplessness and hospital stays with my ultimate concierge (almost two months!), I’ll never forget the incredible power of love, grit, and hope. 

I vow to remember these past months as a time of personal growth, reaffirming my inherent optimism, hope, and resilience. I taught myself to rebound – with success.

This past winter was shocking and challenging. My ultimate concierge had two surgeries, complications, and two months in the hospital, and “it ain’t over yet.” 

He’s still recovering from deconditioning, a medical condition requiring reconditioning after a long hospital stay. Every day he works with physical, speech, and occupational therapists. Recovery can take six months to a year, as inactivity impacts all body systems, including musculoskeletal, cardiovascular, and respiratory systems, cognitions, and the skin. (Consider that the next time you need motivation to go for a walk!)

Welcome to January – A Month for Daydreams

Embracing My True Self

Life has been a challenge, undeniably. But what’s shocking is that I haven’t fallen apart. And through it all, my ultimate concierge keeps telling me, “I love you to the moon, Suzi Good. The best is yet to come.” I smile – I am wise. I know. Life will never be the same. It will be slower, but it will be “good.”

When my husband fell and broke his hip, I decided to face things head-on. And, I did just that. So much so that, at this stage of life, I finally embraced my true identity. And let me tell you, darling, it is the best gift any woman can give herself: “To thine own self be true.” 

Sweet reader, “I have arrived.” And so can you, whatever your situation. Climb those stairs. Be curious. Speak your mind. Be you! You have it in you. It is Spring! Spring forward, sweet reader.

Sure, I’ve had moments of sadness. Yet, I’ve risen to every occasion, researching and reaching out to those knowledgeable about deconditioning. Oh, what I’ve learned! As I’ve always told you, a curious woman is an ageless woman. 

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Flying Solo While Conquering Challenges

Though I’ve been through difficult times, I rarely feel down or tired. The power of the mind is incredible. I am constantly planting new seeds for my husband’s recovery.

My assistant, Elena, looked at me across the desk last Friday and said, “I have more respect for you than any woman I know.” After thanking her, I asked why. She responded that other women in my situation would be depressed.

I smiled across the desk. Depressed? “Not me. I am determined and grateful, and you make me laugh every day!”

Sweet reader, I look forward to the future with great anticipation, as an independent and married woman.

The Power of Community, Support, and Connection

Do I ache for the good old days? I admit I have my downtimes. I miss the normalcy of life, simple things like walks with our dog America, brunches, and movies. I miss trips, romantic dinners, and nights with friends.

When a woman faces a life change, it’s important not to sabotage her thoughts, as they ultimately produce new growth. As I mentioned, I advise putting on your “big girl pants” and springing forward. It is March!

From Chivas Regal to Ensure: The Transitions of a Charmed Life

New Passions and New Possibilities

As I sit here, I’ll share a portion of my positive growth journey.

Since my husband’s illness, I’ve experienced personal growth. This quote perfectly sums up my feelings: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Fear has never stopped me. Please don’t let it stop you. Fear of the unknown stops many women from challenging themselves. Don’t let fear rule you. You are in control. Take a deep breath, do your due diligence, and take the plunge! Don’t miss out on personal growth and golden opportunities because of fear. When you do that, you diminish yourself.

The thought of fear enters my mind initially, but it doesn’t stop me. I’ve taken many plunges and gained immense satisfaction.

I’ve reached a plateau where I am a whole woman, comfortable in my own skin. That’s how I want you to feel. Fear creates stagnation, while self-growth takes courage and is gratifying.

So, put away doubts and climb those stairs, even if it means huffing and puffing.

I HAVE huffed and puffed.

Tackling Challenges

Over the past months, I’ve learned coping strategies from wise advice, reading, and experience. These strategies have brought me genuine relief.

I’ve had to take on many responsibilities previously handled by my husband, which has been challenging.

I bought a car and learned to handle our finances – two big challenges tackled! While not exactly a walk in the park, they’ve made me wiser.

Purchasing a car on my own was the biggest hurdle. I spent hours researching, talking to salespeople, and test driving different vehicles.

The young man selling me the car jokingly said, “You’ve become my favorite customer, but you’re killing me, Smalls… like in the movie Sandlot!” We both laughed.

I confess, I didn’t sleep well the first night, wondering if I’d made the right choice. But the next morning, I knew I had. This car feels like a perfect fit, and my husband loves it too. One reason I chose this brand is because it’s the same one he picked me up in on our first date. He’s always with me, even in spirit.

Facing the Future with Hope

I also decided to get involved with a charitable organization. After a year of research and personal conversations, I finally found a cause that resonated deeply with me, rekindling my interest in giving back, something I’ve been passionate about since my twenties. Meeting the organization’s representatives and learning their story ignited a spark within me.

Joining a book club and volunteering to lead the discussion at our condo added another dimension to my life. I also continued Pilates while adding yoga twice a week to my routine.

New friendships blossomed as well. Several women in the building reached out to offer their support when my husband became ill. They’re true gems.

I maintain close ties with my friends across the country, though I miss having them closer. I cherish their connection and support.

Recently, after learning about the prevalence of estranged parent-child relationships, I decided to “come out full force” and publicly disclose my own experience. An article in the New York Times resonated deeply, highlighting the struggles of 67 million parents facing the pain of estrangement. 

Inspired by this article, I created a private Facebook group called “Estranged Mothers and Grandmothers: Millions Strong” to offer support and connection to others facing similar challenges.

I manage most of my work on Honey Good and my private Facebook groups while my husband is asleep or attending therapy sessions.

Choosing to Rise

Like a Whirling Dervish I saw perform in a restaurant in Damascus, Syria, my life is a whirlwind of activity. Some are pleasant, some frustrating, some grueling, some special, some sweet, some reflective, some creative, and even some brand new, like emerging from a cocoon. I’m using my talents to the best of my ability, for myself, my husband, and our future together.

My life has undeniably changed, and I miss aspects of what it used to be more than words can express. However, I remain hopeful for continued improvement. Regardless of what the future holds, I have a choice: rise or sink. 

And I choose to rise. So can you. 

Use your mind, explore your options, and chase your dreams – a new career, a move, a new relationship, a special trip. You have the power within you. Use it! Amen.

 

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 Women over 50: Celebrate Visibility

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 Estranged Mothers and Grandmothers: Millions Strong