There are several ways to create a dazzling and alluring lifestyle without fear of failure after 50.

GIRLFRIENDS TO THE RESCUE

Spend time with your girlfriends. It is a magical medicine to help you feel fearless by learning and listening to them. 

Hanging out with our girlfriends is a great way to help us create a dazzling and alluring lifestyle. Girlfriends’ experiences and feelings are often similar after 50, including fears on all levels. We are contemporaries facing the same life experiences, so we can offer each other astute advice.

Of course, there are other ways to create a lifestyle minus the fears of failure that I will discuss later. 

Yesterday I spent time with girlfriends over lunch and a canasta game. Did  I have time in my frazzled and dazzled life to take time away from work and other vital responsibilities? The answer is, no, not really. But I wanted to, so I did!

MY DAZZLING YET FRAZZLED DAY

I started the day with writing a story, then racing to a pilates class. Then home to make breakfast for my Ultimate Concierge and my pooch, America. Then a walk with my guy to the doc office for a quick test. We then drove to his physical therapy, I waited for him, and then we went home. 

Between those responsibilities, I showered, handled business obligations, and at 12:30 pm, I was smiling and chatting with my girlfriends! Why did I do it? 

I am a woman who desires and needs women in her life because I love to laugh and share. With them by my side, I lead an enriched and dazzling lifestyle. And discuss several topics, including fears, invisibility, blended family, style and beauty, loneliness, empowerment, and travel. 

My girlfriends are a great source of inspiration and advice. 

Who better to discuss my fears than my friends going through the same life experiences I am encountering? Our commonality makes us great sounding boards for one another. The lessons they have learned may help me overcome fear. And I will give back and help them when they need me. 

So take your friendships seriously and wrap them close to your heart. 

If you are feeling lonely..seek women friends. Join an organization that makes your heart sing, and you will meet women who feel the same.

BEING DIFFERENT TOGETHER WITH FRIENDS AFTER 50

When I think about yesterday’s conversation, I must admit I am laughing and considering why I gave up precious hours of my day to be with these friends of mine. Easy. I laughed. I learned. And I felt connected. I gave back. I wonder.

Just by coincidence, yesterday’s conversation was a bit depressing. The discussion was about ‘some’ of their fears!

It ran the gambit from one friend discussing why she does not take Robitussin! She fears she will fall asleep when she drives.

Another friend chimed in. She says she is germaphobic and a hypochondriac. And, though not a doctor, can fill you in on everything!

Last night she called out frantically to her husband that her oxygen level was low and she thought she was dying! I thought, “It would never dawn on me to take my oxygen level!” I kept my silence. Her husband called one of their son to tell him about the occurrence. Her son’s reply, “When?” We all laughed hysterically!

Another friend mentioned she just changed her will because she fears she’ll drop dead!

TO EACH HER OWN

OMG, I thought to myself, “If I thought about what these friends think, I would not lead an alluring and dazzling lifestyle. And, truth be told, they don’t choose the lifestyle I lead. And that is by their choice. They would never take chances like I do, but I don’t fault them. This set of friends fills my cup in other ways, and I enjoy my time with them.

I must admit I was filled with awe.

I thought I do have a will, but when I decided to update it, it was not because of the fear of dropping dead!

As far as checking my oxygen level, I am breathing just fine. And, as I glanced at my hypochondriac friend with the low oxygen level ( maybe the machine was defective?), so was she!

What matters is that all of us want camaraderie. We don’t want to be lonely or feel invisible. Women are gatherers and need open dialogue. We can learn so much over lunch and a card game, even how to handle fears.

WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO CONQUER FEAR

YOU NEED TO BE ONE-ON-ONE WITH YOUR INNER THOUGHTS FOR YOU TO DISLODGE YOUR PRIVATE FEARS. SO YOU CAN LEAD AN ALLURING AND DAZZLING LIFESTYLE AFTER 50.

On a serious note, I have faced the reality that a woman’s fears become more dominant after age 50. Therefore, she has to try harder than a younger woman to create a dazzling and alluring lifestyle without fear after 50.

She has to want to get unstuck from her fears. She has to desire to ‘want’ to live a happier and more exciting life. It is challenging work.

HOW TO WORK THROUGH YOUR FEARS

I think a good start is to jot down your fears and your reasons for these fears. Your goal… is to replace negative thoughts with positive thinking.

Remember this, living is taking chances. How exciting that sounds! What a boring life one leads thinking negative thoughts. You are frozen from taking chances, from blooming.

I push my fears into the background and just do things. I think of the results afterward! Is that wise? Yes. Totally!!

I would never have given my first dinner party or moved to Honolulu with my small family. Never become the Chairman of a charity that covered the State of Hawaii when I had just moved. I would never have said yes to writing a book, Stories for my Grandchild, when a big house in New York wanted to hire me.

I would never have started an online company, HoneyGood.com, let my hair go grey, and said, I am who I am! My motto is…I Try, Try, Try!

Believe me, I am not bragging about my accomplishments…I am bragging that I toss fears out the window and go for it. I know if I don’t try, I would never know, and, darling, if I fail, I know I gave it my all. Period.

I SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING…

My secret to handling my fears is how I position my thinking. Personally, I am capable of replacing concerns with trust, trust in my ability. I am an empowered woman after 50. I have this power. And so are you.

So, I replace certain words when I am afraid:

I should becomes I can.

My Problem becomes opportunity.

Hope becomes know.

I can’t do it becomes I can handle it.

I failed, but I learned.

When I was widowed and had cancer, the worst of the worst, I survived because of my above thoughts. And my ability to push my fear aside and act to eventually see my glass half full.

Not everyone can accomplish my Holly Golightly attitude of walking on the sunny side of the street. But every one of you can learn to lean on your empowerment, explore through your fears, and live an alluring and dazzling lifestyle without fear after 50.

I hope the girlfriends I talked about read this!!! I am smiling.

Do you have friends that are different from you but who enrich your life? I’d love to hear your story. Join the conversation in the comments below.

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