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As a woman who has lived through many passages and learned through my larger than life experiences (positive and negative), I’ve discovered how to take a big empowering bite out of life.

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A Gift From the Sea: A Treasure

When I was in my 20s, my girlfriend, Carolyn, dropped a little paperback book off at my home. It wasn’t my birthday; the gift was purely a gift of friendship. Little did either of us know that the book, “Gift from the Sea” by Anne Morrow Lindbergh would still be sitting on my nightstand! A beautiful little hardback version was reprinted on the book’s 50th anniversary. It is an inspirational book, that reflects on the lives of American women. The book is now over 60 years old and is as fresh as the morning dew and as glorious as the beautiful sea.

It begins:

I began these pages for myself, in order to think out my own particular pattern of living, my own individual balance of life, work and human relationships. But as I went on writing and talking with other women, young and old, with different lives and experiences – those who supported themselves, those who wished careers, those who were hard working housewives and mothers and those with more ease – I found that my point of view was not unique. Even those whose lives had appeared to be ticking imperturbably under their smiling clock-faces were often trying, like me, to evolve another rhythm with more creative pauses in it, more adjustment to their individual needs, new and more alive relationships to themselves as well as others.

I am now thinking back on the pattern of my life and how well I balanced the pattern of my life and my relationships.

In my 20s I  was immersed in learning about real love and how to share in a marriage, becoming a mother, my first home and taking on the task of starting a Montessori School. In my thirties, with school-age children I was carpooling and selling Girl Scout cookies with my daughters, running charity events, becoming a hostess at home, joining book and movie clubs and indulging in “lunch with the girls.” My 40s were a mix of the bitter and the sweet. I moved to my beautiful Hawaii, lost a darling husband, became a grandmother and remarried a second love. My 50s were perfect. My children were married, my husband and I traveled the world, many new grand babies, a new blended family, building a new home and a fabulous marriage. My 60s: very bitter and very sweet. The bitter has made me grow. The sweet has helped me survive. A tragic suicide in the family, my bouts with cancer, a frightening automobile accident, my father’s death, exciting travel, my Bat Mitzvah and the start of HoneyGood.com and my wonderful husband.

Immersed within these 50 years have been extraordinary women from all walks of life, who have shared their lives with me. I would not be who I am if I had not met them. We are all unique, dancing to our own drummer, and yet we are all alike because we belong to the same sisterhood.

I encourage you to purchase this book for yourselves, your daughters, your daughter-in-laws, your granddaughters and your girlfriends (as a keepsake). Read it. Place it by your bedside as I have. It is a woman’s book. It is a Gift from the Sea. I am a lover of the Sea. I have lived on it, studied it, reveled in its beauty and mystery and will tell you it “is ever changing,” as our lives can and should.

January 11, 2015

Passages After 50, Relationships

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