*Affiliate disclosure.
My life, a short nine months ago, was the size of the world, and overnight, it became the size of a freckle.
You’re probably feeling sad for me, but I beg you, please don’t, because my freckle is stuffed to the brim with so many marvelous accessories that bring me pleasure and wonder.
This occurs when a woman facing adversity of any type has managed somehow to keep a positive and creative attitude. When I found myself at a fork in the road, I had the tools to make the right turn. This happened because, from the time I was a young girl, I never lived a minimalist life. It has never been my bag. I dress for myself in everything I do. When I see something I cannot do. I try. My philosophy is that more is more and less is a big bore.
Yes, my ultimate concierge has medical issues, and I am a 24/7 dedicated and adoring wife. No, I am not a goody-goody. My hubby has earned my dedication because of his love for me. I have 100 percent inner peace because I am doing all that I can for him. He feels my love, and this gives him the power to want to ‘stick around.’ I am smiling, and I am grateful.
THE ACCESSORIES OF MY LIFE
So, what keeps me humming along as I face this new lifestyle? Attitude, attitude, attitude. What gives me attitude? The accessories in my life.
They are the people and my constant experiences. Obviously, I could not live a worthwhile life without people or without commitments to interests that send shivers up and down my arms.
Yes, sweet reader, I adore my personal accessories—jewelry, handbags, shoes, sunglasses, red lipstick, my little black dress, the scent of Maison Francis Kurkdjian, Baccarat 540, and even the rubber band I choose to wear in my hair.
I am also profoundly attached to personal accessories around our apartment in the sky from our travels, gifts from my grandmothers, mother, father, aunt, children, grandchildren, and special friends. What woman isn’t?
I have a courageous heart and mind. I like my life to have an impact and glamour. That is why I continue to wear, at my age, red lipstick!
Fortunately, we know that material possessions never feed one’s soul for long, except for the scent of Baccarat 540, and of course, personal accessories from those we cherish are forever possessions.
Let’s get back to being serious about the critical accessories of living a good life when problems arise or otherwise.
PEOPLE ARE AT THE TOP OF MY ESSENTIAL LIST OF ACCESSORIES.
People are authentic accessories that light up one’s life and one’s mind. My ultimate concierge (my partner, my love, and accomplice in crime), America (my glued-to-the-hip pooch), and several fascinating, understanding, accomplished, and loving people, who are either very close friends or fabulous acquaintances, are front and center.
Never underestimate the value of female acquaintances! What I find so remarkable about friendship is that one size does not fit all, and that is very enriching for every woman’s mind and soul.
I have invested my time in having close female friends from all walks of life and all ages. As well as several acquaintances who come and go and come back again and again. I am blessed because they are fond accessories, helping to make my life exciting and comforting.
I have never been involved in a clique. I have noticed that these women, though happy, wind up wearing the same style and even the same colors in clothing. They dine in the same restaurants, enjoy the same menu, read the same book, and go to the same plastic surgeon and hairdresser. The clique provides a safety net but disavows a woman’s flow of new energy and creativity.
My advice to a woman is to not be a conformist. Accessorize your life with multiple types of female friends while always cherishing and nurturing your relationships with your close friends.
Life changes after the age of 50, but the need for solid relationships or acquaintances remains steady. If you are alone, it is hard to push yourself over the fear line of reaching out. My advice is you must because your alternative is loneliness. And, if you don’t, let’s face it: you’re not living. You are caving. So, put on your big girl pants and make this your priority.
WOMEN KNOW IMMEDIATELY IF THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO A NEW FACE
I was told, and I believe this: A woman meeting a new woman will know in one minute if they will click.
This happened to me last week. I had an important meeting with the president of a non-profit charity. He brought his wife. I met them in a hotel lobby. As soon as she walked off the elevator and said hello, there was an immediate attraction. We both knew we were going to click. So, sweet reader, look for that woman when you venture into the unknown. You will find her. Or she will find you!
Here are some options that can open your world:
- Take yourself on a solo cruise! Sure, it is scary. But loneliness is worse.
- Join, join, join a group of like-minded women.
- Take your dog to a dog park at the same time each day. Look for that woman.
- Focus on quality, not quantity. You don’t need a tribe of women to find happiness.
- Introduce yourself and be accepting of a new woman who introduces herself to you.
A TRUE STORY OF INTRODUCING ONESELF
I grew up in Kankakee by the Sea. The school system was less than stellar. Most of my teachers had been my father’s! On my first day of class in college, in History 101, in an auditorium of at least 100 students, I felt like a lost soul. The professor talked, and I did not know how to take notes. I did not know how to make an outline.
Sitting next to me was a girl whose notes were perfect! After class, while knowing I might be rejected, I complimented her on her note-taking and came right out and asked her if she would teach me how to do an outline. She smiled and said yes. She taught me!
I would not have survived college if it were not for Barbara Steinberg. One day, she looked at me and asked me to teach her how to up her style! I said I would love to, and we became close friends—two different types of young girls, one intellectual and one not. We bonded over learning and style, and I have tried to find her online to continue our warm friendship.
Of course, I was fearful, but I did not let it stop me. I was eighteen years old, and it was a great learning experience because, from that time forward, fear has never held me back from anything. I can take no but I cannot take not passing go.
EXPERIENCES ARE 2ND ON MY LIST OF ESSENTIAL ACCESSORIES
You only fail when you do not try. Staying in the hunt for life, even under challenging circumstances, provides every woman with constant intellectual stimulation. I know that not all of you are like me, and that is just fine. Listen to your inner muse because it is what makes you unique and will inspire you. Don’t procrastinate. Become absorbed.
I plunge into new experiences, while most women don’t. I have never found plunging into a new endeavor a detriment. Every time I have taken a plunge, I have grown from my experience and enriched my life. I plunge when I feel passionate.
Among those experiences are traveling to Syria and Iran, starting a company, and building a home with my ultimate concierge. I moved with my young family to Honolulu, Hawaii, becoming the head of a charity as soon as we settled in, making friends throughout the state. I am sharing this with you not to toot my horn because it is not my style, but rather to tell you to put yourself out there and take risks.
Risks are a great accessory to hang your hat on because you will grow intellectually as well as spiritually, and you will be a happier woman for taking the risk.
MY ULTIMATE ACCESSORY
Upon reflection, the greatest accessory I have had in my lifetime is my husband, Sheldon F. Good. I have been asked what the secrets of a long, successful marriage are. After 33 years of marriage, I would say attraction. I am attracted to my husband as much today as I was when I first met him.
Everything about him attracts me to him. His physical being. His intellect. His charm. His warmth. His counsel. He shoots from the hip. His humor. His authenticity. His voice, his laugh, his smile. And, for 33 years, there has not been a day that has gone by that he has not told me, “I love you.”
My husband understands a woman. He is the cream and sugar in my coffee. We are in total sync. In 33 years of marriage, we never watched TV in separate rooms or gone to bed without the other. I will end by saying I was a good picker! I am smiling. Amen.
Honey Good is a mentor for women, empowering them to live vibrant and visible lives after 50. For more insight into her daily life, plus tips and tricks, follow her on Instagram @iamhoneygood. To inquire about working with Honey, please email her at collabs@honeygood.com.
*Honey Good may receive a small commission when you purchase items through links on this page. This helps greatly with the cost of running this site and is at no additional cost to you.
I loved this article. My husband and I have been married for 48 years and I feel the same way about him !!
Wonderful. Warmly, Honey
Lovely, lovely, lovely, Honey. What a great way to put together all those parts that make up a rich and satisfying life. It’s important to have an anchor, too. Definitely sounds like your husband is yours. Whatever the destination, it’s truly the journey, isn’t it?
Yes, it truly is the journey. The fork in the road is key… which way to turn. Have a lovely day. Warmly, Honey
I so agree..I am in a similiar situation..I adore my husband .. he has been unwell but I cherish every day with him. We have a beautiful home and garden I love clothes and jewellery perfume and makeup. we both always dress well..beauty is all around..we eat delicious meals every evening ..and always sleep close together. I have a few close friends and am always thinking of new things to do with my husband and my friends..life is very full because we make it so!
You seem to be doing everything beautifully. I applaud you. Warmly, Honey