You all know how I feel about age being nothing but a number, and the importance of engaging with women of all ages. Last week I answered a question on Ask Honey about how I embraced aging. It’s been a hot topic lately!

Recently on my private Facebook group, Celebrate Life, one of our group experts, Diane, started a lively discussion. Here’s what she posted and the responses that came after.

I’d love for us to get a discussion going here in the comments! Let me know what you think.

Diane’s Post:

“Ladies…Food for thought!
On the news this morning, they were talking about an accident where an “Elderly” man 61 died of his injuries! As horrible as that is, I couldn’t help but stop and focus on the WORD. I feel a sense of age discrimination. This word should not be used. The age number is sufficient. What do you all think?”

Here’s What Some of the Members of Celebrate Life Had to Say:

“The word itself is subjective.” — Barbara

“Yes I am 81 and do not like being treated as if I am one minute from death!!! I can still kick it!!😁💃” — Nancy

“I am 75, and I believe it to be very subjective, because words hurt. I tripped and fell on the way to a concert one evening, and although I had a few scratches, it really hurt to hear someone in the crowd say ‘Oh, poor thing!’” — Judith

“I’ve often thought the same thing when the local new reports an incident involving an ‘elderly’ person. You don’t expect to be defined simply by your age.” — Rene

“I am furious when I’m talked down to at the doctors office, call dear, or told well at your age we expect….! Really, I hate the word elderly, I find it mostly inaccurate, demeaning, disrespectful and discriminatory. That’s my opinion, I’m 70, I will call it out!” — Liz “or “well, as we get older…” Liz added.

“That’s so true I was called ‘dear’ at the doctor recently and thought it was strange….different. There’s definitely a shift once you pass 60. I don’t think 60 is elderly, maybe 70 or 80 so Diane you are right to be annoyed.” — Ziggie

Age Is Nothing But a Number. Would You Agree?

“Hmm. Unfortunately, it’s true that certain conditions do appear or get worse as we age. ( might not like “age” either!) but I’d object to “dear.” Words like that unless it’s spoken by somebody you love is patronizing. I’d come back with “Honey” at that point😁” — Susan

“I take great umbridge at being classified as elderly and get quite snippy. I remember my Dad getting snippy with a doctor when he referred to Dad as elderly at the age of 77 when discussing Dad’s impending by-pass surgery. It’s unnecessary.” — Chris

“Elderly is not needed to describe this or any person, definitely not. Actually, how Is the age relevant in this particular context? Was his age somehow a factor in his death? I know it describes him … but for sure, the WORD you point to is subjective and irrelevant.” — Dorreen

“It is so true what everyone here has expressed. I am now 66 and want to feel included, not like my days are numbered. We know our age. We are not trying to be younger. We want to be included as current, able to contibute and be recognized for who we are. Whatever our age.” — Diane

“Absolutely agree.” — Vikki “I agree.” — Vanessa “Totally agree.” — Mary Ann

“I agree! Furthermore, 61 is not elderly! We are living full, fun and fabulous lives well beyond our 60s!!” — Arlene

“A comedian once said, “I know I’m ‘eldery’ when I realize that if I died, the news reporter wouldn’t say ‘Her life was tragically cut short’!” — Margaret

“Aging is a right and a privilege. We don’t realize that until we have enjoyed the ride.” — Diane

“And why do we even need to refer to anyone as “elderly”? And really, why does age even matter in most stories?” — Debbie

“I am 66 and don’t feel elderly, I enjoy my life, age is really just a number!” — Susie

“If 61 is “elderly” I wonder what that makes me at 80??” — Cindy

Life Is Wonderful at All Ages!

“I’m 65 and noticed a new zit yesterday, so I guess I’m actually in my second adolescence! My mom made it to 88. I told her once, “You’re not old, you’ve just been young a long time.” She herself said she was not going to he one of those little ladies who get all “oooh-oooh” upset over things. And referring to a previous post, she remained a big believer in red lipstick (as am I – Fire and Ice forever!). So let’s all primp and smile and keep on being young a long time!” — Antionette

“People writing news stories always sensationalize everything to entice people to read them. Most headlines don’t match the stories. The news is so biased. Most of it is pure ignorance.” — Donna

“Totally agree!” — Jan “Absolutely agree…!!!” — Nancy

“Elderly? Honestly?! That’s just unnecessary.” — Lu-Ann

“61 is not elderly. That’s young!!!” — Valerie

“I couldn’t agree more, Diane! The word, elderly, reflects the ageist attitudes in all aspects of our society, especially among those in the beauty and advertising industries; they merely reinforce the stereotypes by selling thousands of products to reverse the signs of aging. We all need to adopt a pro-aging vs. anti-aging philosophy and terminology.
BTW, Try not to blame all journalists. They’ve just become the scapegoats. The prevalence of social media has more to do with the bias problem because many profess to provide and share news when they’re not. Journalists are no more biased than the rest of society and if they’re truly professional, they do everything in their power to be fair to both sides and only report the facts. That’s the way it was when we were growing up, remember? Try reading the top, more objective national news publications and viewing TV networks in which their journalists seek out and report both sides of a story. As a professionally trained journalist, I can recall the words of professors and editors: “If your mother says she loves you, check it out!” 😉” — Susan

To which Diane responded, “Thank you Susan. I usually just let these things slide. It seems like we are going backwards these days. Life is a constant fight. We walk on egg shells and always try to be politically correct. It really is exhausting.”

“Agreed. Media likes labeling everyone evidently.” — Carlene

“Totally agree and under no circumstances is 61 YO elderly!” — Nancy

Aging Is a Gift

“It doesn’t bother me at all. I made it this far. I will carry the term elderly with a banner. In the Asian culture when you turn 60, you put on a red hat and life starts over.” — Cathy

To which Susan responded, “Cathy, Wouldn’t that be great in our society?” And Cathy came back with some great points! “I think they’re are definitely cultural differences on how our elders are treated. In Mexican culture you make a plate of food for mother and father and they eat first. In African American culture the children eat first. In Indian culture the entire family lives together. The elders stay home and take care of the children.”

“I try not to get hung up on things like that. If the writer was 30, it seemed ok to them.” — Susan

“I have said this before “elderly” is a word that should be eliminated from the English language! Omg, there is such a rampant ageism nowadays, which is ironic considering how many of us over 50’s there are alive, well and contributing to the economy, culture etc. etc. Makes me so mad, I’m right there with you. 👍💛” — Bridget

“Agreed!! I can’t tolerate it when news reporters stereotype people like this.” — Carlene

And finally, my comment, “It is an emotionally disruptive word for older women and for many reasons.”

What Are Your Thoughts?

So what do you think about this topic, darlings? I’d love to start the conversation here as well in the comments.

And of course, if you’re not a member of my Facebook group, Celebrate Life, please join! We would love to have you!

I am smiling.

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