Darlings,

I hope you are enjoying the last week of February. This week the theme seemed to be connecting with other women, how to make friends, taking care of ourselves and of course, the Red String.

Remember, women need women. Don’t be afraid to make new friends, get rid of relationships that do not serve you or have courage to talk to someone you feel a connection with.

Life is too short to not have courage! I am smiling.

 

Ask Honey – Advice For Women Over 50+

February 27, 2020

Dear Honey,

In regards to making friends, I have two concerns:
1) I don’t have a problem making friends, in fact, I make them very easily. How do I decide when I have enough friends and can’t do justice to them because I have too many?
2) I always seem to be making plans to get together with them and am tired of it. If they want to see me, shouldn’t they come forward and make plans sometimes?

Thank you,

Julia

Dear Julia,

1. You have enough friends in your life when you are content. For some women, one female friend brings her joy and fulfillment. While another woman might reach her comfort level in a group of several women.

You will solve your problem when you give justice to ‘your needs.’ Ask yourself these questions…

Would you rather have a few great friends or several casual friends? Your type of personality will give you the answer. If you are a woman who is giving and sensitive to others and enjoys close and strong friendships you will minimize your list quickly and focus on women who mirror you. On the other hand, if you prefer many casual friendships choose the women in your large group you can learn from and enjoy while over time quietly back away from the others.

2. Too many people in anyone’s life becomes a burden. Constantly trying to catch up with emails and texts to make plans takes time and leaves you with no chance to make a few lasting relationships. Friendships don’t happen overnight. They have to be cultivated and nurtured. My suggestion is to choose a few women you like and pursue them.

I read an article a few weeks ago that when two women meet for the first time they know how they feel about one another in 15 seconds. I believe that.

When you are trying to make plans with several women who have several different schedules and responsibilities they may not have time to call you. Or, maybe you are not following your heart, it knows in your choice of friends.

I hope I helped. Keep me in the loop!

Warmly,

Honey

 

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Dear Honey,

For some time now I have been drawn to the idea and meaning of the red string bracelet.

I was at a local restaurant with my son, and there was a family of 5, all wearing the red bracelet on their left hands. I have the feeling like it’s calling me, if you get what I mean. My grandmother always instilled in us, listen carefully to your gut feeling!

I’m going to get the bracelet for myself and my family. I have read the most authentic place to buy them is from Jerusalem. There are ladies that sell them and the string is blessed by Rachel’s Tomb. I don’t have that option at the moment. Some companies sell them by pieces, I’ve heard that it should be one whole string. They also come with a prayer and it should be tied seven times by a person you love and trust. Do you follow this ritual, with the reading of the prayer and who reads the prayer, the person receiving or the person tying?

You have mentioned in the past to try either Amazon or the website Kabbalah. I have noticed some bracelets are wool or cotton does that make a difference? My friend only wears the bracelet made out of wool. I want to thank you in advance for your time and the passion you have when you are replying to your “Darlings”. I’m so grateful I came across your words of wisdom, that you share with us with so much wisdom, honesty, and unending passion! Blessings are always around the corner, near or far, you just have to pay attention…

Love,

Alaina

Dear Alaina,

As you already know I was beyond touched by your email. I so loved what your grandmother ‘left you in your head’ and I am sure you will pass this down to your children. I so love that you listen to your heart because it is your thermometer, the indicator of your true feelings.

My gift to you is one of my personal red strings that I brought back from Israel. Yes, it was given to me by one of the ladies. I am gifting this red string to you because I know you will be overjoyed that it is from me. Have someone you love tie it around your left wrist with seven knots. It is tied on your left wrist because your left wrist is closest to your heart.

My strings are individual and 13 to 14 inches long. They are red wool. After the string is tied ‘tightly’ around your wrist (it will loosen over time) any excess string can be cut off. My string, and my husbands, stays on our wrists for up to a year or more. Tying it tightly prevents the string from catching on something and breaking.

I say a prayer over the person after I tie on a red string. It is personal and loving. Whatever comes to my heart I express. I don’t read a prayer.

Sending my blessing to you. I am grateful you found my blog. It is serendipity…. meant to be.

Please send your address to my email address. I will say a little blessing over your red string, to guard and protect you, then slip it in an envelope and send it your way.

Warmly,

Honey

 

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Dear Honey,

Giving myself time away from the routines of my days has been challenging for me. I struggle to find the right way to accomplish things such as meditation and journaling during my day. I am in need of results for self-love and self-care but I cannot get my motivation moving forward!

Thank you for any advice!

 

Dear Anonymous,

Please ask yourself the following questions: Is the struggle to find the time to relax related to a time management problem or because you aren’t excited to meditate or journal?

I think you have to understand the cause before you can find a solution. If your problem is organizing your time you have to solve that problem. If you aren’t really interested in journaling or meditating there are other worthwhile ways to give yourself some tender and loving self-care. Or maybe you think keeping your routine is more important than indulging yourself.

Nothing is more important than taking care of yourself. It is not selfish to want to have time for yourself. It is necessary to replenish yourself. If you are on a strict routine with no time allotted to your personal needs you eventually run out of energy and feel depleted. And, as you told me, you can’t get your motivation moving forward.

So might I suggest the following. How about adding some tender loving care ‘to your daily routine.’ Don’t call it a time out. Just make it part of your routine and after a time you will feel it is routine. If you want to journal and mediate add those to the daily routine. If you want to workout or read a book or take a bubble bath or give yourself a facial or a short nap, do just that. And, no guilt, please. I am smiling.

Warmly,

Honey

 

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Dear Honey,

There is a woman I know who attends the same church I do. I really like her and I hope she likes me. I would like to get together with her on a regular basis. However, I don’t see her often in person. How can I approach her so I don’t appear to become a nag or to be “needy” toward her?

Sincerely,

Beth

Dear Beth,

Truthfully, I think she will be flattered by your attention and I don’t think she will think you are needy. Reaching out takes courage for some women so you are not alone.

I have a new friend. We met at a card game. I was drawn to her because she is authentic and warm with a fiery personality. I find that very appealing. I have reached out to her and she to me. They say when two women meet they know how they will feel about one another in 15 seconds. Obviously, you knew. I have a feeling she had the same feeling you had.

You probably are drawn to her because you have noticed you have the same similarities. She mirrors your values, you know she enjoys church… You already have church in common so you might say, “Would you like to have a bite of lunch or a cup of coffee and discuss the Minister or Priest’s sermon? Or, if you were together at a church activity you can ask her to have a cup of coffee or lunch to discuss the activity. Ultimately, the conversation will lead to other things and you will soon know if there is a connection.

I find authenticity, positivity, warmth and a genuine interest in the other persons charming characteristics. Remember, women need women.

I hope I helped you. Please keep in touch with me. I am only an email away.

Warmly,

Honey

We are all GRANDWOMEN with moxie, and we need to stick together. If you have a question for next week, please ask it in the form below.