ASK HONEY – ADVICE FOR WOMEN OVER 50

JANUARY 23, 2020

The way in which two or more people or things are connected and the way in which one tells a story, tells you there are all types of relationships.

Some are heavenly. Some are toxic. And then there are several different types of relationships in between. Without relationships, we would not have a society or World Wars! So tread smartly and carefully when choosing new relationships and tread gently when ending some you have not enjoyed for a while.

A GRANDWOMAN knows herself. She knows exactly what makes her tick. She stays true to herself and makes a conscious choice when she invites a new person or endeavor of any kind into her life.

Warmly,

Honey

Mary Ann Asks:

Dear Honey,

I Loved this and needed to hear these things. My husband and I went through some very difficult times with his health, mine, and our marriage. I am happy to say we weathered all those storms and are doing better than ever. For various reasons, there are a few friends that have made it clear they do not want a relationship with my husband. There are times in social situations where they have been plain rude. These were friends for 40 years that we have so much history with. I was crushed and hurt. My husband is hurt. I finally got to a point where I felt I must move on but it’s very difficult. I’m in a better place with this than 6 months ago. Any other words of wisdom? Thank you, Honey!

– Mary Ann

*****

Dear Mary Ann,

You seem like a GRANDWOMAN with moxie to me. You saved the most important relationship… your marriage. I applaud you!

Relationships. Connections. Associations… call the connection between two or more people whatever you want knowing that one thing is for certain… a relationship can be over the top marvelous or it can cause a person to feel the depths of despair.

The most important relationship you have is intact: your marriage. You worked on your marriage during hard times and survived. That is very special and the premier relationship that counts. You can have the greatest friendships but without a good marriage, you will not be happy.

On to the relationship with people you call your friends for 40 years. I have no idea what ‘various reasons’ means so it is difficult to give you a just answer.

Depending on what ‘various reasons’ mean and how deep a friendship you thought you had, here are a few examples of what you might do.

1. 1. My husband comes first. If he is not happy, ‘we’ are not happy. I would stop spending time with people who do not care for my husband. And, I would tell my husband, “You are the  cream in my coffee.” 
   2. If you think the ‘various reasons’; warrant a discussion I would invite my supposed friend out for lunch or meet her at a Starbucks and over coffee listen to what she has to say. And, then I would go home and think very hard about the conversation.
   3. I don’t know your lifestyle but I do know there are other couples to seek out. Make the effort. Join a group! Wine, travel, movie, cards. You can have new adventures… new relationships! Refreshing!

I am sorry you and your husband were hurt. Just remember: With relationships between people anything goes! Fathers and sons stop talking. Parents and children stop talking. Best friends stop talking. Business partnerships fall apart. Marriages end in divorce.

You’ve got your guy and he’s got you. That is the most important relationship. Cherish it.

Warmly,

Honey

Trudy Asks: 

Dear Trudy: 

Toni Asks:

Bel Asks:

Dear Honey,

About the red string. You’d said that you have worn the red string for 2 years. Do you take it off when you are taking a bath or washing dishes? Is it all right to drench or soak it water?

– Bel

*****

Dear Bel,

The red string that I wear is nothing more than a simple red string that is tied around my wrist in seven knots that guards and protects me. I was given mine in Jerusalem but you can order red strings on line.

However, I do not wear a man-made red string bracelet with a clasp, by choice. I prefer my red string to be primitive and simple with no pretense attached because I only want to think about its message when I gaze at it.

The Red String had its origin in Kabbalah, the ancient Jewish mystical interpretation of the bible, first transmitted orally.

It is the symbolism of Kabbalah, that makes the Red String valuable, not the string itself. The red string guards and protects you, your loved ones and friends. You tie a red string on someone because you feel a special bond. That is what I do. And, after I tie on their Red String, I say a little blessing that I made up.

As your Red String wears thin, it eventually will fall off your wrist. You can have someone you love tie a new Red String on you. Never cut the red string off. It will fall off your wrist, naturally. The one I am wearing has been on my wrist for over a year. I have never had one last two years. But one never knows.

It is important to tie the red string around your left wrist because it is closest to your heart and please remember to tie it tightly. The tightness will quickly relax. If the string is tied too loosely it will catch on something and fall off.

On a trip to France, we had the wonderful occasion to have breakfast with three other couples who were very close friends. One couple was French, one Viennese, and the other Greek. They noticed my Ultimate Concierge and I wearing our Red String. They questioned us about the meaning of the Red String and after I told them the story they all left breakfast wearing one of my red strings! None of our friends were of the Jewish faith.

Wishing you the best luck with your Red String. If you have good thoughts, good thoughts will come to you.

Warmly,

Honey

 

We are all GRANDWOMEN with moxie, and we need to stick together. If you have a question for next week, please ask it in the form below.

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