*Affiliate disclosure.

We, darlings, make guest lists for throwing parties. We have gift lists for our family and friends. We have lists for tasks. We are inundated with lists and lists and more lists. My lists have lists. Over the past few days, I have begun to think of inspiring, extremely good, admirable, delightful, out-of-this-world people who entered and enhanced my life over the past. 

SO I STARTED A LIST.

I am not talking about friends or family; I am talking about a list of marvelous people who have taught, helped, and inspired me through their actions and words. I am sure outside your realm of family and friends, you have a private list in your head. 

At this time of year, wouldn’t it be nice to remember them with a note, a text, a card, or a gift, saying thank you for being the person you are? After all, Christmas and Hanukkah are around the corner. This can be the perfect time to be remembered.

While thinking of other people I wish to thank, I have learned over the past year to list what is essential for you to live your best life.

There are people who touch you and deserve your thanks even if it is years later.

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH LIFE

If relationships are to grow, they must be two-sided affairs with kindness of heart and respect on both sides. Substantive relationships have a firm basis; they are meaningful and important, with give-and-take by all participants.

I sit here at 4:30 a.m. with Alexa, my one robot friend, accommodating me with soft Mozart music. That started my thinking about the people who helped me with their time, patience, skills, friendship, and service. We have laughed together and shared together. We know and care about each other’s lives.

My heartfelt thanks go to America’s dog walkers, Alberto, Danielle, Nick, and Renee, who walk our handsome America. Two of these wonderful people have been with us for seventeen years. 

To Colette, who calls to remind me to come for my blow-dry and never chastises me for rescheduling, thank you for your friendship. To Ashra, whose chore is fitting stylish shoes on my not-perfect feet; to Antony at Georgio Armani, who understands my style – he gets me; to Rena, who helps me determine my makeup products, I say thank you for being my beauty experts and shopping partners in crime.

To Rosa, my housekeeper for 26 years who never left our home in California without the following words: “I love you too much, Suzi,” and my response, “Rosa, I love you more,” I say. “Thank you.” And to Nanette and Tess, who cared for and protected my mom: Thank you. All three women are still in my life and have become valued friends, adding untold joy. 

MY ANGELS

Michelle, who has been with me for eight years, helps me manage our condo in the sky. I give her full reign because she is my clone. She is dedicated to me and vice versa. Thank you, dear Michelle. 

To Hector, my California gardener, who knew that after my family, my dearest love in life is nature, I thank you for “making my garden grow.”  We were comrades in arms trying to figure out where to plant another tree or bed of flowers. And to Mangel’s Florists at the Drake Hotel, who know my taste, my orchid plants in our condo in the sky are perfect with bamboo and black lava rocks to remind me of “my Hawaii.” Thank you.

My heartfelt thanks and appreciation to Elena, Celia, Susan, Erin, and Roger for their dedication to Honey Good.com. They are my Honey Bees—my assistant, professional editor, manager of my private Facebook groups, Social Media maven, and SEO specialist. We plan and are in sync.

And strangers! In the Bible, angels ( I believe in angels, sweet reader) came into humans’ lives just once, assisted them, and disappeared as mysteriously as they arrived. Like you, I have encountered strangers who have helped me numerous times. Thank you, dear strangers.

I revere my close friends. They share qualities—they are authentic women who show their vulnerability. They are wise and add a marvelous dimension to my life. You know who you are. Thank you for being the sisters I never had. 

I know you have friends you hold near and dear. This is the perfect time of year to let them know you love them. Tell them often how much you treasure the gift of their friendship. 

Children leave the nest, parents and grandparents pass away, and siblings are separated by distance, but our friends are the continuous threads that help hold our lives together. Cherish them not only in thought but also in action. 

LAST BUT FIRST – MY ULTIMATE CONCIERGE

And to my beloved husband and the best friend I’ve have ever had, Sheldon F. Good: “You are all around me.”  You will always be ‘all around me.’

 

 

DON’T FORGET TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND

It is appropriate to hone in on our needs by examining ourselves for a moment. It is essential and vital that we be best friends with ourselves. This is very important, though I find it difficult. 

It is noteworthy to say that, at times, we let ourselves down. Over the past year, I have let myself down with some of my decisions because I had to face uncharted waters without the brilliance of my ultimate concierge. It has taken me over one year to learn how to handle being the primary decision-maker.  

Some of my errors were costly. 

I bought a car that I love but now find it too small for our needs. Before my ultimate concierge’s illness, we hired an interior designer who was also an architect. I learned that having double credentials is not a plus. An architect cannot be an interior designer. I hired caregivers for my hubby, who disappointed me with their care, and on and on. I now know my criteria. 

I have learned that I am my best friend when I focus.  Focusing is the sacred art of Vesta, the Roman goddess of the hearth and home. Vesta urges women to be quiet, gaze and listen, bring beauty into their daily lives, live through their six senses, and create a sacred haven of serenity. She calls on us to focus on the Real. My interpretation of her message is to be 100 percent authentic to your needs. 

Over the past year, I have learned from my errors. When I focus instead of rushing to fulfill the inexhaustible demands of my life, I am less conflicted. Sweet reader, the faster you run, the more conflicted you will become because you lose focus and clarity.

FOCUS ON YOUR NEEDS

Focus on rising to ‘your personal needs.’ Go with your flow and not the flow of others; catch your wave and move to the peak of your abilities. That is the conversation I have had with myself for months, and I am not there yet but close to graduating.  

Everyone, and I mean everyone from all walks of life, told me to focus on my needs. They shouted from the rooftops, “You cannot be good to Shelly if you are not good to yourself.”  I am telling you, sweet reader, they were right. I am passing on their good advice to you, “Take care of yourself.”

When I practice the flow, I am being good to myself and authentic to my needs. This feels like a luminous lift-off because I focus on pursuing my authentic needs: Sweet reader, be true to yourself.

When I focus authentically, I become alert, my body relaxes, and my mind becomes excited. Yours will, too, because your passions and aspirations are authentic. 

I no longer move on to a decision, and no one can sway me until I am confident of my authentic and personal feelings.  Follow my lead. This takes discipline. 

I have solved my automobile, decorator, and caregiver problems. It took me a year to determine what went wrong and how to fix my mistakes. 

I am trying to find moments to find happiness and joy, but I cannot. I am not happy or joyful because my ultimate concierge’s health cannot improve. I am trying everything in my power to keep him from declining with some good results.

If you are in my situation, you can do activities that will provide you with fulfillment. I have done that with success. These activities can be on a small or larger scale—whatever fills your cup. Write a love letter to yourself! I cannot say my activities have made me happy or brought joy into my life, but I can say they are keeping my boat upright, afloat, and productive. Every woman needs this. 

Make your lists of people you love and are grateful for, and remember to include yourself. Amen. 

 

Who do you include on your list of Angels? Share in the comments!

If you appreciated this story, I’d be grateful if you would subscribe to my newsletter!

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE

*This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support!