SURVIVE: How to Survive in Life After 50

By Susan "Honey" Good

I am flying on American Airlines through the white fluffy clouds at 34,000 feet. My ultimate concierge is on my left, my pooch Orchid is lying at my feet and I couldn’t be happier. I am so grateful. I turn to my husband and tell him I love him. He takes my hand and tells me he loves me. We smile at one another and I pat Orchid who looks up at me with her big black eyes. I know she is smiling inside — I am content. My concierge goes back to his novel about the war in Afghanistan and I open my laptop and place my fingers on the keyboard. 

I ask myself, “What am I going to muse about today?” This phrase goes through my mind most days because I either have too much to expound on or I don’t have a clue. This happens to writers. Writing is hard, darlings… or on second thought, maybe it’s better to say writing is a challenge?

Today was one of those days when I did not have a clue what to muse on until I wrote that last line. Immediately a thought popped into my mind, ‘I will write about the emotional meaning behind the word hard versus challenging.’

I decided that if I used the word ‘challenge’ rather than ‘hard’ when dealing with inconvenient or difficult situations, I felt uplifted.

Let’s imagine the car battery dies, the suitcase zipper breaks, the sink disposal backs up or I lose my house keys. If I say, “I am challenged,” I think I have a better chance of solving my problem rather than if I were to say, “This is going to be very hard to deal with.” It is positive reinforcement when I say challenge. I am saying to myself, “I have the endurance to solve this situation.”

From dealing with life issues I have learned to…

  • ACCEPT WHAT I CANNOT CHANGE: When I lost my late husband, when I had cancer, when my children moved away, when I had to blend two families, when I moved across an ocean, when I lost my car keys and when the disposal overflowed all over the kitchen floor, I took action on what I could do.
  • REACH INWARD FOR PERSPECTIVE: I let the trauma die down and think of solutions — letting the trauma die down is key. You cannot make a wise decision when you are upset. 
  • ACT RATHER THAN REACT: Act means to take action. I use my ability to act to brighten my situation. When I lost my husband I knew I had to heal. I figured out how to act rather than react to what was best for me. Where should I live in a peaceful setting? What should I do to stay healthy? How could I release my stress?

We all face challenges in life. I always do my utmost best to land on my feet on the sunny side of the street. I take what is handed to me and I deal. I want you to do the same. 

RELATIONSHIPS: I Am Done With My Own Nonsense

RELATIONSHIPS: I Am Done With My Own Nonsense

By Susan "Honey" Good

The definition of change is to reshape, transform or evolve. I think women our age tend to be satisfied with their lives. Feeling satisfied with the life you live is powerful because it means that you feel good about you.

When you feel good about yourself after fifty or sixty or seventy, it becomes easier to get out of a rut or tweak your lifestyle.

Remember: You do not want to make changes in your life out of defiance. You want to make changes in your life after an awakening.

What was my awakening? I am done with my own nonsense.

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A New Year. A New Challenge.

JoyAndPain

By Megan Broadhead. A New Year. Beginnings. A chance to start again. Freshness. An exhale of all that is old, and in inhale of newness, mystery, and possibility.

But not for all.

Everywhere, we read messages of meaning-making, hope, possibility, and change. These messages are a welcomed reminder of the resilience and the strength inherent in the human spirit; when we live intentionally, beautiful and new things can happen. When we tune into the ways in which our lives speak, we can be deeply blessed.

Alongside this human spirit of optimism is another reality we often forget in this time. This reality is the struggle for hope that so many experience in the wake of a new year. I’m talking about those for whom exciting possibilities are dimmed by intense heartache, loss, and pain.

Those who have spent holidays alone in an empty home listening to the tick of the clock above the unadorned mantel while reading on social media of families gathered together in a spirit of celebration and love.

Those feeling the intense loss of a loved one to mental and or physical sickness ... those engaged in a desperate search to fill the half of their heart that went missing the year before.

Those who enter a new year separate from the person with whom they’ve spent the majority of their adult life. I’m reminded of the woman for whom a “new” reality means begrudgingly entering into a fresh life of singlehood… accompanied by three children under five.

I’m reminded of the woman burdened by obsessive-compulsive thoughts of food and exercise—the one who cannot fit any idea of “a different reality in a new year” into her mindset, because disorder has taken over.

I’m reminded of the woman for whom a new year marks another year she is without child- and not due to a lack of trying in the previous year.

I’m reminded of those for whom a new year is also accompanied by a new diagnosis and the task of balancing the delicate line between hope and despair.

            I see you.

I challenge us all to see pain alongside joy and to see those among us who are struggling to comprehend a new beginning.

As a therapist, I often consider myself as the “holder of hope” for my clients. When they are unable to hold hope, I can (most of the time).

In this new year, I challenge us all to cultivate a sense of curiosity of the other. I challenge you to see not only the joy and optimism inherent in a new beginning, but also pain. My challenge is to sit with pain (that of others’ and of your own) and fight the urge to change it or move it or ignore it.

I challenge us all to really see those around us and hold the hope when they are unable.

Let's help take care of one another as we make our way into 2015.

5 Reasons Why You Should Change Up Your Hair

ChangeYourHair

Our hair color and hairstyle are large parts of our identity. When we change our hairstyle and color we mentally take on a different persona not only to people who know us but, oddly enough we feel a change within ourselves. Unlike most of my girlfriends, I change my hair pretty often. I think women get too comfortable and are afraid of change, however, I have noticed that women change “their look” when there is a change in their lives. Am I right or am I right? If you don’t believe me, maybe this will help - just a few reasons to consider changing your hairstyle.

  1. Change is good. I don’t care what people say, it is! According to UK hairstylist, Andrew Collinge, women change their “hairstyles” as much as 104 times during their lifetime! I suggest taking the plunge if you start to feel the itch for change. As Nike says, just do it.
  2. Pamper yourself. Walk into a great hair salon and get pampered. A trim, a rinse, a new shade of color. You will at the very least come out with an added spring in your step. If you’re lucky, you may get a glass of wine or two on the house – never a bad deal. Might as well make a day out of it and get a mani-pedi too, who cares, you deserve it!
  3. Transform your image. One of the top five reasons women change their hair is because they want to reinvent themselves. It could be a break-up, moving to a new city, a new boyfriend or a new job. Or maybe it’s just a yearning for something different. Get out of your rut, change it up.
  4. Adjust your age. Who ever wants to look their age? When you are young you want to look older. And when you are older, well, you want to look younger. ‘Tis the conundrum we deal with our whole lives, but guess what? A hairstyle can add a few years (if that’s really what you’re looking for) and better yet, it can trim a few off. Go to a trusted salon and have the confidence to leave the styling up to them.
  5. Embrace a new perspective. I think changing your hair can change your life and your perspective on things. It may sound silly, but new hair alters our confidence, attitude and sometimes our personality. You know how it’s hard to have a good day when you have a bad hair day – well, it’s hard to have a bad day with great hair…

Now, I’m not just talking the talk, I’ve walked this walk many a times.  I have worn my hair long, short, buzzed. I’ve never added color, but I’ve explored all kinds of looks. With the change of my hairstyle my wardrobe changes which creates a change in my life, a transformation of my image and is just a fun new feeling to change things up a bit!