Recently, I ran into a friend that I had not seen in ages and she got me thinking about a past blog post and new beginnings.
She stopped me and said, “I read your stories. ‘Delete’ was a favorite story because it gave me the determination and momentum to make changes in my personal life. I am much happier and feel uplifted. Your story gave me the nudge I needed to rethink my feelings about my personal lifestyle regarding my relationship with women and organizations.”
I nodded in agreement because, darlings, I owe my own social facelift, in part, to a close girlfriend. This close girlfriend is a very formidable woman. She has degrees in law and psychology, she is a successful businesswoman, a superb cook, she’s married to a great guy, she does yoga, and she is a fun-loving girlfriend.
Learning to ‘delete’ for new beginnings
One day, I received a text from this incredible girlfriend that read simply, “Call me.”
Of course, I called her immediately.
In her fast-clipped manner, she said to me, “I added the word DELETE to my vocabulary. Been there, done that with women who play the one up you game, are self-absorbed and boring! I am ‘deleting’ them from my life! And that goes for some of my organizational work! I feel better already. I am finished kidding myself.”
There was no malice in her voice. She sounded as though she was just making a sound business deal to please herself. And, she sounded very uplifted!
We talked for a few minutes and hung up.
I was in my car, so I had plenty of time to think as I drove home. And my first thought, “That was a very strong statement!” My girlfriend had my attention. She made me think.
And, because I am a writer I visualized the delete key on my keyboard the moment she uttered the word delete! And then… I thought about how simple it is to hit my delete key and watch a word or sentence vanish forever.
The problem with my visualization is that people and organizations are not just words!
‘Delete’ may be positive but…
My take away: The word ‘delete’ can have positive effects on our lives. But I’ve decided to use the word ‘refresh’ instead!
Darlings, maybe it is time to take a moment to rethink your relationships with some of the women in your life and open yourself to inviting some new and refreshing women into your social sphere. If you are seeking new beginnings in your social circle, recently, I wrote about using friendship to reinvent yourself after 5o.
By this time in your life, I’m sure you have an opinion on what makes a great friendship, and who you want to spend your time with. If you have toxic friendships, it may be time for a friendship refresh. Here is some sage advice on handling those difficult friendships.
I’m a writer, so I pictured the ‘delete’ key on my keyboard when visualizing removing unwanted relationships.
Hit ‘delete’ on organizations, too!
Maybe it is time to refresh the organizations you have supported for years that you have wanted to delete, not because they are unworthy, but because you have been introduced to ones that seem more fulfilling at this passage in your life. This can be a business that you no longer align with, a hobby, or even a charitable or religious organization. Finding new beginnings in the organizations you support can be exhilarating!
Time for a ‘refresh’ to find growth
Lastly, and most importantly, maybe it is time to take a look in the mirror and compare yourself to the woman you were five years ago, or even a year ago, versus the woman you are today. You can choose to ‘refresh’ your behaviors, thoughts, and mindset to match the woman you have become (and want to become) and ‘delete’ old ideas and insecurities that hold you back from reinventing yourself as a woman over 50.
‘Delete’ to move forward into new beginnings
In other words, dear reader, don’t stay stuck in relationships or organizations that do not feed your soul.
When you rid yourself of unnecessary baggage, you will become a refreshed woman and can find new beginnings. I know, because after I listened to my girlfriend and took action, I felt a weight of unnecessary baggage lifted from my shoulders. Taking the initiative to pare down my relationships and organizational commitments freed me to explore other options. New adventures and new beginnings!
New beginnings happen when you ‘delete’ old baggage and make space for something fresh.
Here is my upbeat analogy.
This is the season we all set goals to be organized, to improve ourselves, to change our lives…in with the old and out with new! I think it is the perfect time to consider refreshing some of your female relationships and some organizations.
If you no longer feel joy and fulfillment in a relationship, dear darlings, refresh.
You can read more about the rich tapestry of relationships over 50 in this story.
Keep what brings you joy
Speaking of new beginnings, now, I have to do a ‘refresh’ of my closet! Because, what served my wardrobe last year may no longer serve me this year. And that’s okay. When one door closes another one opens. And sometimes relationships end so that new ones can form. And that, my darlings, is quite simply refreshing.
Have you refreshed and swept clean any of your past unfulfilling relationships? How did you go about this in a way that exuded grace and humility?
I’d love to hear your stories! Do tell, darlings! Comment below, LET’S TALK!
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True…taking your refreshing advice. Spent a lifetime trying to connect with a self absorbed person & hurtful behaviour… forgiving over and over but not forgetting. So taking a step back – its enough!
Delete is a harsh but positive word. Clean house in many areas of our lives is healthy. We are at the stage of life to be true to ourselves!!!! Warmly, Honey
I like your stories . Thank You Celeste
Hi Celeste,Thank you very much. I am smiling. Have a nice day!Warmly,Honey
I have grown up with the term : “when one door closes another opens”. Recently I read “When a door closes ~ a window opens”. I visualize all the new and fresh air coming thru that window ~ REfreshing me ~ out with the old, in with the new.
LOVing this post you have shared.
HaPpY Tuesday ~
patti
We are becoming ‘pen pals.’ How special. Warmly, Honey
I would add another point of concern regarding the energy and effort it takes to maintain a friendship. If you are the sole initiator over a considerable period of time and there is no reason the friend fails to invest her time and attention in your relationship, it might be wise to check to see where you are with the person by voicing kindly and directly what you are feeling. Many ways things could go. Denial on the other end? Unaware of your feelings because she is overwhelmed? Some jealousy factor at work? (You may sense that, while she cannot face it or own up to it, you realize it will impair ever feeling easy with her. ) You have a conversation to improve what you have built? Perhaps even come to the mutual acknowledgment you each may have moved on?
Thanks, Honey. A very worthwhile post.
I read every word and agree. I am going through this process now. Warmly, Honey
Thank you for your insight into this very sensitive issue. It’s hard to “delete” people from our lives b/c everyone deserves our understanding and attention if we are truly a friend. Perhaps instead of deleting we just walk in their shoes and dig deeper to find the reason for “their” issues which in turn promoted their behaviour. Maybe just reduce the amount of time spent with them until you feel comfortable and then they in turn have a mentor to steer them in the right direction to clean up their toxic traits. People today are just eliminating people from their lives b/c of their charachter traits that don’t fit their ideas of what the relationship should be and that in itself is creating a more tragic problem for society and families and relationships in general. The Therapists out there today are being flipant in instructing their patients that if things don’t go their way, just eliminate the so called toxic people from their lives. Well that has become toxic as well and now everyone thinks that if you don’t do it my way then take the highway. That is just promoting more toxicity and abandonment than ever before in society so there are just “empty ” so called human beings walking around with their heads in the sand and no skills to teach and mentor others to be a better human beings by example.
Are you a psychologist or do you have a degree in relationships? I ask because you are so wise and I agree with every word you sent to me. Thank you, Gayle. Warmly, Honey
I completely agree with the idea that sometimes we need to let go of things that don’t make us happy in order to find new beginnings. It can be hard to let go of things that hold sentimental value or memories, but ultimately, it’s important to prioritize our own happiness and well-being. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking post!
My pleasure! I ‘try’ to fill my life with all forms of joy. You are wise and doing the same. Welcome to the club! Warmly, Honey
I agree that we must let rid of things that don’t make us happy to start over. Despite the difficulty of letting go of precious items, we must prioritize our own happiness and well-being. Thanks for this thought-provoking article!
You are very welcome!
It is the courage to change relationships and habits in our lives that will help us live more positively and attract better things into our lives.
That is my philosophy on life! We are on the same page. Warmly, Honey