As you know Darlings, earlier this year, I started recording a new podcast.
If you’re just tuning into my podcast, start at the first episode. This week, I had the great pleasure to interview Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, a positive psychologist, an award-winning published author, playwright, and filmmaker. Some of you might recognize her from a contributing post she wrote last month (As Moms and Grandmas We Spend a Great Deal Time Making Others Feel Cozy).
Positive Psychology
Dr. Becker Holstein is committed to helping girls and women of all ages develop a strong sense of self. Her practice centers on helping women build confidence, resiliency and the courage to develop their talents and potential to the fullest. She accomplishes this using “Positive Psychology.”
Positive Psychology is defined simply as, “the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive.” The field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.
Dr. Becker Holstein shed her own personal light on how she chose to focus her private practice on positive psychology:
When I was studying to be a psychologist, I went to therapy (as all good psychologists should do) and what I found was upsetting: The psychologists I went to see “Didn’t really pick on my talents or potentials. Instead they focused on my shortcomings and defects, which I willingly laid out for them. Instead of feeling happy, I felt lousy.
She adds further, “As I began to treat clients …. I strongly felt that as a psychologist, I had to angle in a certain way to get them to really tell me the good news about themselves and what was really working.”
Dr. Becker Holstein confirmed this in a variety of research projects and found that many women are not given the opportunity to “to recognize what is good about [themselves] and [often] dismiss [their talents] allowing ourselves to become a vicious circle where we focus on what is wrong with ourselves instead of what is right.”
Her first book, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, dives deeper into this subject with personal anecdotes that many women over 50 can relate to (I don’t want to spoil the interview, Darlings, so if you are curious, listen to the podcast here).
I understand Dr. Becker Holstein to be a very wise woman. I really appreciate and applaud her for all her hard work and insight.
The Power of Recalling Positive Memories
Dr. Becker Holstein believes that recalling memories is a key factor in leading a happy and purposeful life. I had an AHA! moment a few months ago, through my writing of the past five years, reliving MY life, MY memories. So I can attest to her findings – I can understand her focus on positive memories.
Positive memories have a kind of “energy burst” that push you forward….
She elaborates that actively remembering positive memories can remind us of who we are. “We are very close to our own selves… we know in subtle ways…. what turns us on or off…..” Using positive memories, we can gain confidence in our abilities and our talents.
I could go on and on Darlings, as Dr. Becker Holstein is very compelling, but I don’t want to give away all of the podcast because I KNOW that women over 50, granddaughters and mothers will absolutely get so much out of it. Grab a cup of tea and your headphones and sit down for a very inspiring thirty minutes. It will be so worth your time.
I can’t wait to listen to this interview. I am a grandmother, therapist, and, Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I am finding during my time at home during these last 8 weeks, I am doing a lot of reflecting on my life and all the people and experiences that have made me, uniquely, who I am. I love the words, “Enchanted Self”! Enchanted is a beautiful expression and conjures up such sweet pictures and memories. Thank you, Honey!
I love the words Enchanted Self, also. It is healthy to reflect. I started writing as a hobby and five years later because I write true stories my life became a story of chapters that became very telling and opened up a new world for me about why I am who I am. I believe in only positive psychology. Barbara introduced me and it is a practice every psychologist should use because everything we go through in our lives can be seen in a positive light. Warmly, Honey