*Affiliate disclosure.

Places of Interest Have People of Interest

It is not easy to grow when you are stuck! Trust me, darling, I know. I also know from my personal experience that one must enlarge their world with awe to grow. One way to accomplish this is to find avenues to ward off  loneliness. This is hard to accomplish.

But, where there is a will, there is a way. My motto is, “Doing nothing is not an option.”

I suggest putting on your red lipstick, so to speak, and going out to meet people of interest in places of interest (like on this dazzling map!). You do not have to necessarily pack up a weekend tote and leave your city. But committing to this should be paramount in your life now that you are over 50. You have the time and resources to evaluate your new lifestyle. Your goal is to thrive.

Reinvent Yourself After 50: Growing Into New Friendships

Rising to the Occasion

I can put my money where my mouth is. My normal lifestyle shut down over one year ago because of my ultimate concierge’s serious health issues. I was forced into a space of isolation. Our vast, exciting, and educational social life vanished. Our evening calendar has been blank for over a year.

After much soul searching and researching, I found a group that fit my needs spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally. After several conversations, I was invited to sit on the National Board of ZOA. Sitting on the ZOA board was the “adrenaline shot” I needed to feel fulfilled.

“I grow when I get stuck because I have ‘attitude.’ I take action and I will be positive. Also, I will be fearless, I will be goal-oriented, and I will be a creator. My priority is no longer to be lonely as a woman after 50 and I work on this goal until I enlarge my world with awe.” — Honey Good

Last week I returned home from New York. I left my comfort zone to attend the ZOA gala alone. It was the first time in my 34 years of marriage that I traveled and attended an event of 700 people without my husband by my side. I did so because I felt I had a responsibility to attend. I knew two people out of the 700 in attendance, the President of ZOA, Mort Klein and his lovely wife, Rita.

But, by the time I left I met the other national board members, Alan Dershowitz, The Israeli Ambassador to the USA, The Israeli Ambassador to the United Nations and others. Most importantly, I really knew I made the right decision to accept the invitation to become a national board member.

To be very honest, I did not enjoy being alone. I cannot tell you that I was a happy camper. What I can tell you is that I feel less lonely because I have found a new heaven in ZOA that will bring me joy. I know that to be interesting you have to stay interested. I am interested in giving back and working for causes that fulfill me.

None of this was easy. Everything was hard. I was at a fork in the road. So, I asked myself, “Do I turn left and live the status quo, or, do I turn right and open a new door?” It was an easy decision—my ultimate concierge taught me ‘that nothing good happens by accident’ and Kankakee by the Sea, where I grew up, nurtured resilience.

Don’t Let Caregiving Dim Your Light: Discover Your Path to Renewed Happiness

Reasons You Might Be Stuck

Having spoken to many women, I saw that the isolation experienced during COVID had a debilitating effect. 

Lethargy, a complacent feeling, took the place of exuberance and willfulness. If you were an upbeat person, you became less so. If you had problems warding off loneliness, your loneliness and the feeling of invisibility grew. 

On top of the isolation we suffered from the virus you may have just retired. You lost friends and a daily schedule. You relocated to another city and don’t have the tools to fit into a new community. Or, you lost a loved one. 

The children moved away. Perhaps you are faced with family estrangement. You are over 50, or under 50 for that matter, and in a rut. You are just plain lonely, and on top of that, you have gotten used to being frozen in time.

How to Grow a World of Awe When You are Lonely after 50

Your attitude is your latitude. It is your ticket to ward off loneliness.

Have you ever heard the term elevator pitch? Unless you are in business, I would assume not. An elevator pitch is a mission statement short and to the point, no longer than an elevator ride! 

What is your mission after 50 to ward off loneliness and enlarge your world with awe? Grab your favorite journal or notebook, and let’s figure it out.

Making Notes to Prepare an Elevator Pitch:

I will be a…

1. Woman of Action: I will shift from passivity to activism.  
2. Positive Woman: I know loneliness restricts the feeling of joy. I will reach out and join a group of interest.
3. Woman with a Goal: Excuses will prevent me from realizing my goals.  
4. Fearless Woman: I will not let fear stand in the way of my goal to fight my loneliness. Fear defeats progress.
5. Woman who Creates: I will create, not defeat a willfulness to stop feeling lonely. 
6. Woman with a Mantra: My Elevator Pitch.

Here is my elevator pitch:

“I grow when I get stuck because I have ‘attitude.’ I take action and I will be positive. Also, I will be fearless, I will be goal-oriented, and I will be a creator. My priority is no longer to be lonely as a woman after 50 and I work on this goal until I enlarge my world with awe.”

My Story & My Goal 

It has taken me a long time, years, to be honest, to ‘categorize’ my entrepreneurial strengths. I was lonely with my thoughts and fearful because I felt stuck. During those years, I spent hours debating where my strengths lie. I thought of myself as a big pot of vegetable soup. Floating veggies in an assortment of colors, each described my array of qualifications.  

I told myself I was a woman after 50 who, over time, earned her Ph.D. in life. And I have, as have you. But, I could never place my finger on it or hone in on what brought me total fulfillment. Because of my knowledge in so many different avenues. And then, like magic, it dawned on me! Can you believe that! All these years of thinking. 

I realize the skill that brings me the most joy and fulfillment is putting women together in a group setting. Because it combines everything I know women love under one roof. Self-care, Beauty, style, home décor, aspirational stories, relationships, and a place where loneliness disappears.

All the while giving back and gaining joy. Because I am preventing women from feeling lonely while enlarging their world with awe. 

My Dream of an Enlightenment Salon

I love everything French. It is in my DNA. I read the story of Madame de Pompadour and her Enlightenment Salons. They were places for women to congregate and become more enlightened. 

“That’s it!” I said to myself. That is what I want for my darlings. I want them to Celebrate Life in my Enlightenment Salon. This is the dream I keep coming back to. I will make it happen because I am a woman with verve!

I Already Have the Knowledge!

Before reading the story of Madame de Pompadour, I held a group meeting four years prior in my home. The group was made up of 10 women from the age of 28-97 years old. The New York Times commissioned me to write a story on multigenerational groups. 

I invited women I knew. My friends. Many of the women did not know one another. I wanted it that way. It was an immediate success. So successful that after two hours of nonstop discussion, none of the women wanted the evening to end! My event made the Sunday edition of the New York Times.

At the same time, I was running a group of 10 women in California. The group stayed together for 4 years until I moved away. 

Why didn’t it dawn on me where to lay my hat? My skill. Though I tried to hone into what was a singular joy I could only see the large picture, the pot of vegetable soup! And, in actuality, the Salon will be made up of you and various topics that pique a woman’s fancy.

My main skill as an entrepreneur came full circle. And what astounds me is that it was always right before my eyes.  This is what I wrote to my honey bee workers at Honey Good in 10 seconds:

My Complete Mission Statement

“I am a  collector, a gatherer of women. A group educator who entertains and educates multigenerational groups of women. In the future Enlightenment Salon, on my site HoneyGood.com, and in my Facebook groups.

My motto: “To empower and enlighten women to celebrate their lives and to bloom to their fullest capacity.” 

It is a joyful feeling to give back. To entertain and educate women, while always listening to their stories and questions. I am smiling!

Ward off Loneliness and Enlarge Your Awe

Nothing good happens by accident. There is always a struggle when a woman after or under 50 understands her challenge but does not have the cure. Especially when you are lonely and feeling invisible. 

Making a needed change is difficult for everyone. It is very challenging. It is very frustrating. And it is very taxing. But it is well worth the dare to go out there and ward off loneliness so you can experience awe. 

So value yourself and your intentions. Take your time to analyze what brings you joy. Then put your intention into a well thought out plan. Finally, erase your fears and replace fear with desire, hard work, and positive resolve. 

The easiest way to ward off loneliness and enlarge your awe is to spend time with women who mirror your values yet bring something new to the table. Age should not matter. As a matter of fact, spending time with women of different ages is a plus. I know.

The Joy of Joining a Group 

I have found that joining a group was the best avenue to ward off loneliness. When I moved from the Midwest to the Hawaiian Islands, I had no acquaintances or friends. I knew I would have to join a like-minded group of women because no one would knock on my door.

I was nervous but decided I would rather be nervous than lonely!

Do the same. Join a group. There is a multitude of them. I think you should join a group in your community that makes you happy. There are so many groups to consider, from multigenerational to entrepreneurial. From bird watching to solo travel to a specific charity of your choice. In other words, there is no reason to be lonely. 

Your ultimate goal is to replace isolation with inclusion. You can do it! Be a groupie, and your loneliness will disappear. I know. 

How do you enlarge your world with awe? I’d love to hear from you! Join the conversation in the comments below.

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