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I wish you clarity on this Sunday Morning. What do I mean? Envision a pool of clear water. Now turn your thoughts inward, sigh out loud and clear your mind of all negativity.

Do you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders? I am sure you do.

While continuing to sit quietly, think about your attitude. Is it positive or negative?

The message today is to live a positive life even with unresolved problems. The phrase ‘positive attitude’ can be every woman’s magic elixir.

The ability to coexist with the unresolved has practical value because every day we share space with problems, both large and small. Most problems are irritations that annoy us — I call them trivial. And, then there are the hard knocks we have to learn to coexist with. Fortunately, for most they are grey, not black.

(If you’ve been struggling to find hope and joy in your life, or just being a more positive person, make it a goal. Read the rest of this story, then get my free guide on creating and achieving goals. You’ll never be sorry when you put the work in on yourself.)

HOPE IS AN ADRENALIN RUSH

As a woman over 50 who is going through very traumatic situations, it is often difficult to see grey. I have cried more tears in the last year of my life than all the years of my life combined. But, I stay resilient and march on because my attitude is like Rudolf Nureyev who once said of ballet, “It never comes easy. It does become possible.” So, for you women over 50 going through a bleak stage in your lives I hope you see clarity in his quote.

For you women who have many blessings but negative tendencies please stop to try and smell the roses. Winston Churchill, my favorite male hero of all times. said, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” I have found that adding the word, hope, at the end of a sad or worrisome thought gives me the impetus to push forward. Hope to me is an adrenalin rush — I feel my heart racing and I breathe deeper.

This positive feeling of hope allows my mind to shift into positive intention and in seconds a clear upbeat vision presents itself. Adding the word hope at the end of a negative thought allows you to see a rainbow of hopefulness. You feel energetic. Lethargy vanishes. It is empowering.

I believe in the Law of Attraction (which you can read about in the wildly popular book, The Secret). I believe when you have a positive ‘attitude’ ‘the sun comes shining through. Your attitude is your mark to living your best life possible.

There is an old saying, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” It is all about one’s attitude.

The Shift: A Story of Attitude Change

A  POSITIVE WOMAN ATTRACTS OTHERS TO HER

One feels the vibes of the positive woman. She emits empowerment. Her attitude, after 50, radiates amicability, positivity and contentment. This woman can be in the throws of despair but when she is in your company she projects joy. She knows no one is really interested in her grief — not for lack of being a good woman- but because they have their own situations. Oh my! Did you notice my positive attitude about other women? A negative woman would be in a tizzy if her friend did not seem eager to listen to her woes.

To my way of thinking, a positive woman has the magic elixir — she has the ability to shift, for her well being from a negative mood to a positive one. Remember sweet reader, whatever one’s attitude positive or negative, we all have problems.

Moments Worth Celebrating for Every Woman After 50

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Do you wake-up each morning looking forward to a positive day or do you wake-up each morning thinking of your woes?

Do you wake-up each morning with a purpose or do you wake-up each morning saying to yourself, poor me?

Remember these two thoughts sweet reader: motivation is a driver of a positive attitude. You are far more resilient than you think.

So it is decision time on this Sunday Morning. Positive decisions we make are usually imperfect. Therefore, how you make your upbeat decision matters more than what you decide. You will learn more by committing to something in a positive way than sitting alone twiddling your thumbs in despair. I will give you an example.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” — Winston Churchill

A few days ago I put an ad in LinkedIn for an editor. One woman’s resume was so outstanding that I decided I would tell her on our zoom call I wanted to consider her for a higher position. I did not mention this when we set up the Zoom. The evening before the Zoom meet-up she cancelled telling me she had another opportunity. I was very disappointed and in that frame of mind I made an imperfect decision. I wrote her back wishing her good luck. At 4:00 am I had an epiphany! I wrote her again telling her how much I liked her resume and my idea of her role. I had hope. She answered the following morning, “I’ll be on the Zoom at 9:00am.”

Come find your supportive community of women! Join these private Facebook groups:

🌻 Women over 50: Celebrate Visibility

🌹 Widow Support Group: Women Healing Together

🌷 Estranged Mothers and Grandmothers: Millions Strong

 

THERE ARE WAYS TO CHANGE A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE

In truth, I think some of us were born with a positive attitude gene and some of us were not as blessed. I also think our experiences and situations as children are also a training ground. Some of us have the resilience to take negative experiences to a successful experience and feel joy from the outcome. Others, born with a negative gene, fall apart.

For those of you who fall apart here are some ideas to mull over.

1. Get out of the path of negative people. Change lanes and seek out positive friendships.
2. Write down three positive thoughts first thing in the morning.
3. Join a group. Women need women.
4. Rescue a loving happy pooch, kitten, turtle, or bird?
5. Commit yourself to a purpose you have wanted to wrap your arms around. Possibly a little garden? A Vision Board. An organization that makes your heart sing.

The 7 Keys to Wellness Over 50: Unlock Joy, Strength, and Purpose

EVERGREEN ADVICE FOR A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

I have some evergreen advice for you. Most of the time that we get down it’s because we have to make an important decision. And, all decisions have uncertainty. Did you know the brain doesn’t like uncertainty? What is interesting is that uncertainty forces us to make our decisions.

“It never comes easy. It does become possible.” — Rudolf Nureyev

So ask yourself: What is the one important outcome you are seeking. Always remembering the outcome has be in line with your values! Making a decision with a positive attitude is acknowledging how difficult it is. Therefore, dear women with a negative attitude, you will have to try harder!

When I am at a low point I ask myself the following:

• Is the decision in my hands: Yes or No?
• Can I do some things to feel uplifted, hopeful, positive?
• What are my choices starting with the most important?

Next, I list them. My purpose here is to determine how important each item is.

• I give each option a score from 1-10.
• I write down the highest scored answer.
• Then, I ask myself if I have a positive or negative feeling?
• Did I always include my values?

I don’t allow my brain to get paralyzed. My thinking may take days. My decisions may not be perfect the first time around. But with a positive attitude and hope, I plod on until I arrive!

How My Love of Nature After 50 Developed and Bloomed

EVEN AT YOUR LOWEST, THERE IS HOPE

It has taken me one year and two months of practice to find comfort in how I deal with my ultimate concierge’s illness. I am blessed to have been born with a positive gene of thought and with the help of Kankakee by the Sea I learned that tenacity won in the end.

My number one option was to keep my husband alert for as long as possible. The question I had to answer was … how?

In-home physical therapy and speech therapy are the two most important tools at this point with his form of dementia. Finding the right people and deciding on how many days a week has taken me a year. I never gave up hope. I never allowed any one to stay if I had negative feelings. And, I lived up to my values by being the best wife I could be. I thank my positive outlook for never giving up. My hubby is stable and I am always sad but also hopeful.

IF YOU LOOK FOR POSITIVITY AND JOY, YOU WILL FIND IT

So to you, all of my beautiful readers out there who are struggling, I hope you know that I understand. Even I have faced days when my positive attitude failed me. But the first thing you can do is to understand that your negative attitude is keeping you from finding any inkling of joy. And you deserve joy, darling. We all do. Make a decision to seek out things that give you joy. Even if you only smile for a moment when you see that beautiful flower or a book that you used to read as a girl. Keep looking and you will keep finding.

If you are troubled by your attitude, you are capable of change. A woman over 50 can accept her challenge. This is your challenge.

Do you view yourself as a positive or negative person? I’m always curious about this and would love to hear about your perception of yourself in the comments.

Stories for My Grandchild: A Grandmother’s Journal is included in this year’s Galentine Gift Guide! See the full guide here.

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