I'm Honey!

As a woman who has lived through many passages and learned through my larger than life experiences (positive and negative), I’ve discovered how to take a big empowering bite out of life.

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GRANDWOMEN Gotta Have A Positive Attitude!

Every Woman Has Attitude!

Attitude is a composite of a woman’s walk, her talk, her thought, her actions, her positivity, her negativity and everything else in-between. It is her make-up and after 50 she knows how important attitude is. She knows her choices are the foundation that makes up her attitude. She knows her attitude tells her world around her how she thinks and feels. Most importantly her attitude portrays her self-image. After 50 she has a range of possibilities to explore.

And, with a positive attitude, the sky is the limit. GRANDWOMEN gotta have a positive attitude!

The Woman

Two women dream of building a new business. Naturally, they are both very apprehensive. That is where their similarities end. The woman with a positive attitude fights through the red tape, educates herself and never allows any upset to distract her from her goal. It is her positive attitude that creates a mindset that nourishers her to the finish line. The woman with the negative attitude never gets to first base.

A woman’s positive attitude also draws people to her. She radiates happiness, amicability, and contentment that transcends to those in her company.    

Leading a Happy Life 

A woman with a positive attitude can have limited resources and live a wonderful and enriching life. She knows her limits and makes wise and positive choices for her benefit. This woman has the right type of attitude and will lead a happy and healthy lifestyle.

She appreciates nature and feels joyful when she looks up to a sky filled with twinkling stars. A woman with a positive attitude loves the area she chose to live in, her tiny home with a little garden and a library nearby. She rescues a pooch to nestle in her arms while all the while being very mindful of her needs and limited resources. Her wise choices and positive attitude bring her far more joy than some women who have all the trappings. It is all about attitude.

What Do You Do?

Do you wake-up each morning looking forward to a positive day or do you wake-up each morning thinking of only your personal woes? Or, do you wake-up each morning with a purpose or do you wake-up each morning saying to yourself, poor me?

You are the mistress of your choices and you make choices every single day, every week, month and year of your life. As well, you control your happiness and contentment and you must not forget that as long as we live, stuff is going to happen and with the right attitude, you will survive.

Widowhood and Attitude

When I was widowed in my forties I had no control over my husband’s sudden death but I did have control over the way I handled healing faced with the most devastating event of my life. My manner of dealing with the shock of losing Michael was positive. I made all the right choices. 

How?

Looking back I still cannot comprehend where I got the wisdom to understand how to grieve. Every measure I took was so intuitive. I had no older family members nearby who experienced loss to lean on. We lived in Honolulu far away from those I loved. 

I think I was an old soul with a young heart. I was then and I am now. No one would think I am, even those who I hold near and dear because I don’t project that image.  

It was my old soul that knew my attitude and my choices would lead me and my daughters through the rainstorm we faced. I thought through my choices and acted with one goal in mind… ultimately peace and recovery for my girls and me.

Knowing What Was Right For Me

I moved from our home in the mountains in Honolulu to a small place near the sea. I filled my pied-à-terre with personal memories and orchids. As well, I walked four miles in the early hours of the morning and four more miles in the early hours of the evening with my pooch so I could think, rid my stress, keep myself healthy and grieve in the parks and along the sea.  

I stayed alone for a year, except for my daughters, my pooch and my parents who visited us in Honolulu. But I knew I had to go through the four steps of mourning if I was to recover my loss. I did it my way, the right way.

Darlings, I survived because my conscious mind knew, and led me to make the right choices. And, I allowed my thoughts to direct me through this storm. My entire recovery period had to do with my attitude. Every move I made was positive from moving out of our home, to moving into my pied-à-terre, to walking, to staying alone for a year.

A Turning Point

On the final day of mourning, one year to the day, my daughters and I went to our synagogue to pray. We sat in the front row. I remember the Rabbi asked the congregation to rise and when my girls and I stood up for a final prayer for my husband, I was so overcome by my loss and the last year of my life, that suddenly out of nowhere, literally buckets of uncontrolled tears drenched my face. I could not stop the tears, I had no control. Instead, they took complete control over me and when they finally subsided, I felt each of my girls squeeze each of my hands and I felt a feeling of relief fall over my entire body. 

It was not for some time that I recognized that my attitude and my choices were my two best friends. They led me through the rain and eventually to see the sunshine again.  

Nothing is worse than loss. I told you my story so you can understand how a positive attitude (doing what was best for me) and my choices (to stay alone for a year) led me to recovery. 

Celebrating by Women After 50Attitude Is Your Magic Word

I think the word attitude is every woman’s magic word. You are the magician who determines if you are going to have a positive attitude. What does that mean?

I believe in the Law of Attraction. I believe if you have a positive ‘attitude’ and know the you in you, great happenings await you. Your attitude is your mark. You own it. It is more important than being a gifted adult, a gorgeous woman, a champion tennis player or having a skill unmatched by none.

There is an old saying, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” It is all about your positive attitude and the positive choices you make. 

There Are Ways to Change a Negative Attitude

  1. Get out of the path of negative people. Change lanes and seek out positive friendships.
  2. Write down three positive thoughts first thing in the morning. 
  3. Join a group. Women need women.
  4. Rescue a loving happy pooch, kitten or bird?
  5. Involve yourself in a purpose you can wrap your arms around. Possibly a little garden? Or possibly give your time to an organization that makes your heart sing.

You Are A GRANDWOMAN

If you are troubled by your attitude you are capable of change. A GRANDWOMEN accepts her challenge. She now has a purpose and she faces a challenge. But, if she knows herself, and she should after 50, she will make the right choices. And, little by little, she will see the light. You are a GRANDWOMAN.

For those of you who have positive attitudes, and know exactly what choices benefit you, tell your grands a story of how you survived an ordeal because of your positive attitude and the choices you made. You are a GRANDWOMAN. 

 

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March 1, 2020

Passages After 50, Relationships

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  1. Cathy Bond says:

    Is something wrong with the website? I have the home pagr bookmarked. Everytime I click on a musing I come directly to the comment page?

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      Thank you for contacting me, Cathy. I have reported this to the man who built the site. His name is Pete and he will be getting to you. He is from LA but is living in Sweden with his family and he is sleeping so I could not phone him. I did text him so he is aware. Are you on mobile and what is the brand of your phone and laptop or desktop? I am having trouble too. When I hit musings it I going to a duplicate home page! We just put up a new site so there will some kinks for a short time. Please bear with us. And thank you for bookmarking me. Warmly, Honey

  2. Margo says:

    Hi!
    I’ve always considered myself a survivor, the type who could make lemonade out of lemons. But I find that now I’m tired. I feel worn out at times after 49 years of always holding it together. Sometimes I just want someone else to be in charge, to take care of me.
    We have plans to go to Italy in June. Once again, I’ve made all the plans, paid for both my son and grandson and here I sit once again with trying to figure out what to do. I realize this is not earth shattering and can’t compare to how you dealt with your sudden loss, but at 67, I’m just overwhelmed from trying to figure out what to do.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      I will answer you this coming Thursday on Ask Honey, my weekly Thursday musings. I don’t think you are alone. Sit tight! Warmly, Honey

  3. Sue says:

    I enjoyed this article so much. Our lives consist of making choices. Yes there are mental illnesses that can impact us for sure. But, if of sound mind we can choose how we live each moment of each day. We can choose how we respond to mountain top experiences and valley low experiences. As for myself my God helps me with my choices. A Life well lived is a BLESSING!!!

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      Yes, a life well lived is a blessing created by you because of your beliefs and sound values. Thank you for writing to me. Warmly, Honey

  4. Rebecca says:

    Thank you for your very wise words today! Just what I needed.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      I am so glad I could help. A positive attitude is worth its weight in gold. Warmly, Honey

  5. emily markiewicz says:

    terrific, well thought out, planned and executed. Spoken from your heart with your wonderful writing style. M

  6. Lynn Burns says:

    Hello Honey!
    What excellent advice you have shared ! Remaining positive to me is my lifestyle; however, it does not always come easy. I have found you must choose it each day.
    I, too, lost my husband in my 40s and had two daughters aged 12 and 15. I can truly say I know what that felt like. I realized very quickly that I could get stuck forever in grief or I could fight my way through to see the sunshine again. I chose to fight one day at a time. I also realized that each of my daughters were grieving differently but I must be the “leader of the pack” and keep going to prove to them…and me…that we could find the sunshine again. I am happy to say we all found it! We have all realized the blessing in all of this is that our lives have been enriched by it. We have a compassion for others who are going through that journey, we value our relationships more, we are selective about whom we spend our time with because we know our precious it is and we have a zest for life!
    In order to show my daughters that we were still a family and there was a whole big world outside our grief, we traveled. I took them to Washington, DC, Scotland, Ireland, Alaska, Canada, etc. …and it worked!
    So…I think positivity is the most powerful choice we can make!
    Much Love,
    Lynn

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      Thank you for sharing your story.I know exactly how you felt and how you are feeling now.These devastating situations are character builders for widows and their children. They make us value everything just that much more and also to take the time to enjoy our lives with gratitude with rose colored glasses. Bless you and the girls. Love back, sister. Warmly, Honey

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