Rejection hurts, but it can have a positive effect if you can remember that it is generally the other person or groups of people that have a problem.

Therefore, consider your choices before you fall apart. Of course, at the time you are experiencing the sting of unacceptance, you will naturally experience unpleasant feelings; sadness, dismay, anger, loss, fear, loneliness, and even invisibility. Social anxiety, especially in the context of dating and interpersonal relationships, can amplify these feelings. Why? Because everyone needs a community of well-minded people in their lives to survive.

Rejection sensitivity can also play a significant role, leading individuals to be overly concerned about interpersonal rejection and often misinterpreting ambiguous situations as rejection. When you are faced with rejection, take a deep breath and focus only on your self-worth. Use your positive resources; wisdom, experience, knowledge, and principles. Concentrate on valuing who you are and not on what the perpetrator tried to do to you. Acknowledge your emotional pain as a natural response to rejection and allow yourself to process these emotions for personal healing and growth. In other words, darling, never sell yourself short. Sell them short.

There Are Many Types of Rejection

There are many types of rejection; some far worse than others. Let’s deal with rejection by other people today.

During the several passages of life from childhood through grandmother-hood, we take ‘hits’ that disarm us and even cut us to our core. Some of these hits come from our beautiful tapestry of relationships. You may feel the sting of rejection in the workplace, often from a hiring manager, or with a girlfriend, or your life partner, and even when you are in a group setting. The challenges faced during the job search process, including multiple rejections, can be particularly tough. You may even experience rejection by your own children.

I know how much rejection hurts because I have experienced it. So I can attest that if you let a person disarm you, the experience is emotionally overwhelming. Romantic rejection is also a common experience, bringing with it difficult emotions and pain.

Why Rejection Happens to Women Over 50 and Its Impact on Self Esteem

Remember that rejection is usually associated with a person, group, organization, or a country wanting to lord power in some form. The dorsal anterior cingulate cortex plays a crucial role in processing the pain of rejection, highlighting the profound emotional response it triggers. For example, another woman looks up to you but peer pressure from her comrades overrules her sound judgment, leading to rejection trauma. And, vice versa. The group likes you and the woman, a leader in the group, sees you as a threat and wants you out. Or, possibly you were passed over at a job you had your heart set on, or you retired early after being a dedicated employee for several years. There are adult children who decide to ostracize their parents from their lives, and of course, the spouse who wants a divorce, all of which can trigger a significant emotional reaction.

I Don’t Have All The Answers

Consider for a moment The Holocaust. Six million innocent people were rejected and slaughtered, mainly those who were Jewish but also Christians, Gypsies, and those that came to their aid by millions who followed a sick leader. And, let us not forget the wealthy Southern slave owners and the Ku Klux Klan who used their power to reject and control a powerless group of good people and used them for monetary gain. Humans can do terrible things with power and in search of power. Social rejection is a way to assert power.

This kind of rejection can lead to social isolation, where fears of further rejection drive individuals to withdraw, creating a cycle of loneliness and disconnection.

Rejection is a way to assert power, and the psychological impact on socially rejected individuals can be profound, affecting their self-esteem and social connections.

You ask yourself, why is man unkind to his fellow man?

I don’t have the wisdom to know all the answers, but I assume because many of these people or groups have mental health issues and unresolved trauma, leading to negative feelings. They may have been brought up by parents who lack respect, empathy, and kindness of heart towards others. Often, they are bullies who are insecure and lack self-confidence. Negative emotions such as anger and sadness can significantly impact their behavior, making them power-seekers, unkind, lacking feelings of remorse, and inconsiderate.

These are people and groups you stay away from because they are determined to hurt you. That is why I stress to disregard them and concentrate on the positive. Your feelings matter and you deserve to associate with people who treat you with kindness.

Why do good people do good things?

Good people treat others well, because they feel good about themselves. Others respect them. One truth I know, follow the golden rule: do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. Good people know, being decent boosts your confidence, pride, and self-respect.

The Impact of Rejection on Self-Worth

Be careful not to associate rejection with your self-worth

Rejection can trigger negative self-talk and self-criticism, leading to a downward spiral of self-doubt and low self-esteem. It’s essential to separate your self-worth from the rejection, recognizing that it’s not a personal failure. Instead, focus on your strengths and positive qualities, and remind yourself that rejection is a common experience that many people face.

Avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk

Negative self-talk and self-criticism can exacerbate the negative impact of rejection on self-worth. It’s essential to practice self-compassion and challenge negative thoughts, replacing them with positive and realistic affirmations. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and remind yourself that rejection is not a reflection of your worth as a person.

Focus on your strengths and positive qualities

Focusing on your strengths and positive qualities can help counteract the negative impact of rejection on self-worth. Practice self-care and engage in activities that promote self-confidence and self-esteem. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who can help boost your self-worth and provide a more balanced perspective on rejection.

Rejection to Strength

So what can you do to survive rejection?

I know rejection hurts. I have been a victim of rejection more than once. Darling, I survived and so will you by recognizing rejection as a good teacher. If you are a woman over 50 who has faced countless rejections, I recommend meeting with a psychologist who practices in the field of Positive Psychology. Recognize when emotional distress requires external support and consider seeking professional help from counselors or psychotherapists. Otherwise, be your own teacher. Read books that help you overcome the pain associated with rejection, begin new hobbies that build your confidence, and surround yourself with good people who aren’t seeking power. I recommend joining my supportive private Facebook group, “Celebrate Visibility.” It’s a sanctuary for women over 50 to dream big and celebrate life.

What do I mean by rejection is a good teacher?

Here are a few personal examples…

When I was growing up I was in a minority. I had to try harder to make my way. And, I had to prove to myself that I was just as adequate as the next kid. I worked at defining my capabilities to myself. Darling, I did not know I was doing this at the time because I was so young.

Processing emotions through journaling is crucial for understanding and managing the pain of rejection.

After journaling these past years, one day I had an ‘aha’ moment. “OMG,” I said to myself. “Maybe that is the reason. True grit comes to me naturally.” Darling, journaling is the best way to get to know yourself and to heal from the inside out by helping you understand how your emotions are processed. Download free journal prompts here. 

Building Resilience

Building resilience is essential for coping with rejection and maintaining a healthy self-worth. Developing coping strategies and learning to navigate rejection can help individuals build resilience and develop a more positive outlook on rejection.

Develop coping strategies to deal with rejection

Developing coping strategies can help individuals deal with rejection in a healthy and constructive way. This can include practicing self-care, seeking social support, and engaging in activities that promote self-confidence and self-esteem. It’s essential to recognize that rejection is a common experience and that it’s not a personal failure. By developing coping strategies, individuals can build resilience and develop a more positive outlook on rejection.

Friendship Rejection

On another occasion, a truly close friend rejected our friendship, causing deep hurt feelings. I am still sad and the experience happened several years ago. It dissolved over peer pressure. I still miss her and I have a feeling she misses me. We traveled far and wide with our guys and she was exceptionally caring and by my side when I had cancer. We laughed together, shared together, and never stopped talking when we were with one another or on the phone. Darling, we shopped together and loved our families. We were committed as volunteers to our favorite charities and we were happy for one another’s accomplishments. She bought me sentimental gifts she knew I would love and I still cherish. Then, an incident occurred and poof…our friendship dissolved; just like that.

Maintaining social connection is crucial in coping with the pain of rejection. The following year she called to wish me a Happy New Year and a few years later when she heard I was at the USC medical center for surgery on a broken ankle she took it upon herself to visit me. We might have repaired our friendship, but we live in different cities.

What Good Could Possibly Come From Rejection?

I learned that I will never let any person or group pressure me about anyone I care for, even if the world is against them. Darling, I have lived up to my expectations. I follow one person’s mind…my own. And, I have a wealth of happy memories from our times together that still make me smile.

Rejection has taught me how to move forward and create a personal roadmap for navigating my emotions constructively. Taking risks is essential for personal growth and pursuing one’s dreams, even if it means facing rejection. I have empathy for everyone. Period. I may decide I no longer want to be with you, but I will handle myself like a lady, thinking of the person and or group, as well as my own feelings. It is not just about me. It’s about everyone’s feelings. I will never intentionally reject a person or group in any way.

I have lived through other relationship mishaps and one extremely severe one, but I am fortunate that I have not lived through any I have not been able to manage and eventually accept…in time.

Accept What You Cannot Change

And, this brings me to a final conclusion. If I have given my all to a person or group, or I have been wrong in some manner and apologized and they still reject me, after my wounds heal I know I have to accept what I cannot change and move on. Why? Because at that point I know it’s about them. It’s their insecurities, their hateful behavior, or the peer pressure they are under.

Learning to face rejection constructively is crucial. It helps build resilience and prepares us to handle future rejections more effectively.

And, that is that, darling. Empathy, tenacity, and knowing how to handle rejection can be hard, but it is the knowledge of the golden rule, and knowing how to ‘accept’ that makes it possible.

Have you experienced rejection? Tell me how you handled the situation in the comments!

 

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