I don’t want you to live with low horizons even during this pandemic. I want you to soar.
It is unfortunate that often times when we want something badly, our fear of failure and lack of self-esteem stops us. This fear is largely due to our past experiences and our attitude. A negative attitude stops us in our tracks before we are given a fighting chance to propel ourselves forward.
A positive attitude breaks through barriers.
How can a woman over 50 control her fears and build her self-esteem? She has to put her challenge on the front burner and her fear and lack of self-esteem on the back burner.
She is in charge of her fate and has to figure out a suitable approach to meet her challenge. Even if her outcome is not exactly to her liking, and she has to try a new approach, she takes away pride and knowledge from her experience. This leaves her with a new layer of self-esteem, and with self-esteem, comes a positive attitude.
It’s All About a Positive Attitude
Every woman after 50 knows life throws everyone all types of challenges. I know that women with a positive attitude visualize a positive outcome. That does not mean that these women are ‘Susie Sunshine’s‘, but it says they are capable of visualizing their challenge in a positive manner and will make a plan and work the plan. They believe in themselves because each successful and non-successful outcome taught them a new lesson. In other words, they did not let fear stop them from starting. This type of woman has learned lessons and skills by tackling all sorts of challenges. And trust me, she earned the right to feel her positive power.
When she is stymied and faced with an ‘oh no’ problem, her positive attitude pushes her ahead, she feels her adrenaline rising, and with resilience, she faces her challenge.
How To Put Fear On The Back Burner
Every woman wants to live a happy and exciting life. I believe we all have different ideas of fearful decisions and challenges. Such as, a big move after 50 or maybe asking someone for money. What about learning a new skill? Or venturing out after widowhood or divorce. It could be dealing with adult children or just living through COVID-19. This is where I am beginning to see a challenge for myself. Oh, I could go on and on…
This is my philosophy; living is taking chances. Living a fruitful life takes courage. OMG, I know. I could write a book.
Don’t Let Fear Stop You
I think one of the biggest problems we have in meeting a challenge is making the decision to meet the challenge! My dad taught me to be too careful.
I remember I had a chance to go to Europe during my sophomore year in college with my girlfriend and her mother. And, I was so excited about the adventure, but to this day, I remember my father saying, “What if you have an appendicitis attack?” I remember saying back to him, “An appendix attack!?” Needless to say, I did not go. My dad taught me to be too careful.
I watched my mother, on the other hand, explore all her options, dive in with no knowledge or experience and accomplish much. I liked that lifestyle better and decided (though I did not realize it at the time), I would follow her path and be careful, but not too careful.
But, to this day, I am afraid of illness. I know I learned this fear from my dad. And, I have had several unexpected health challenges. But, as fearful as I am, I meet my challenges head-on. I put my fear on the back burner, and with a positive attitude and true grit, I meet each challenge with gusto. It is very hard for me, but I do it.
You have your fears like I have mine.
Your first call to action is to put your fears on the back burner, and with a positive attitude, forge ahead with your decision to meet your challenge. Ask yourself a hundred questions. Here a few great starters: What if I do it this way? What if I don’t do it that way? Or, what if I do not do it at all?
My Perscription
At this time in your life, I want you to realize your capabilities are grand. You have lived 50 plus years. Maybe it is time for you to take on some new and exciting challenges. I want you to go for it and I want you to have given yourself two very important tools to begin your journey.
- Put your fear on the back burner
- Make a decision to address the challenge.
Now you have a fighting chance to address your challenge! Moving, where? Retiring? Ballroom dancing? A new career? Dating again? Getting a divorce? Playing the piano? Letting your hair go grey?
After you have moved, or retired, or entered a ballroom dancing contest, how do you feel?
Your attitude will be positive and you will feel your power because you have met the challenge. It will be hard work, but look at what you gained; another layer of self-esteem to your attire!
I know it is much harder than I am making it sound, but this gives you cause for thought. In my opinion, the cause for thought in itself is rewarding and uplifting. It should give you an adrenaline rush and an attitude of positivity.
What challenges have you not faced due to fear? Let’s discuss in the comments below!
Great article!!! Lots of sensible wisdom!! I had my appendix out at 12 and it was my mom who saved my life !!!! Even the doctors didn’t recognize the symptoms . She did. As women we have lots of wisdom and courage. Let’s be proud to use our talents.
What a compliment coming from you. I am really touched. I still have my appendix! And, one of my daughters saved me from dying. We have much in common. Especially that we love being Jewish and we love living a life of positivity.How are you doing? I hope you are well and safe. Warmly, Honey
So spot on Honey. I retired and relocated after working and living in the same town for 40 years. It was an adjustment for sure. We made new friends, adjusted to small town life and I started painting (something I never had the time to do). There have been bumps-a-plenty! But we are happy and have no regrets…and having no regrets at this point in my life is my sweet spot! Keep up the great work Honey. You’re motivating more of us then you will ever know.
I am glad you are adjusted and have no regrets.We all our bumps in the road but if we have a positive attitude. like you do, we see our advantages and we adjust. How nice that you are painting and making new friends and you have your partner. And, thank you for the lovely compliment. I am smiling. Warmly, Honey
hi, great post thanks for the sharing,
regards,
“living a fruitful life takes courage” ” I could write a book”…….. I’m looking forward to reading it 😊
I love reading your thoughts everyday….thank you, Darnell
I am not receiving the entire article. Where is it. when I click to read more, I am only getting responses to the article!
Try this? https://www.honeygood.com/how-a-woman-after-50-faces-her-challenges/
I listened to this message at a very appropriate time. Meaning, I needed it. I’m learning to live alone for the first time in my 62 years of life. It’s been an adjustment in many ways. I’m learning to over come loneliness and learning to make solo decisions. It’s taken time to realize that I don’t have to ask my husband about a girls night out or where we eat or what we do. I miss my husband, don’t get me wrong. He instilled some fears in me that I have learn to overcome like,staying out pass 6:00 or walking the dogs at night alone. I can hear him saying “A lady has no business being out at night alone” .Well i am alone and I’m having to fight my fears one day at a time. With each challenge i meet I begin to feel more confident. I have more to overcome but, it’s a start.
Honey you are so right on with this article. In my 65 years on earth and 40+ years of a beautiful marriage, I too, like many others, have faced many challenging experiences. As I look back I see the pattern of initial heartache, then fear, then picking myself up, asking myself for a plan, what to do, if not clear, do nothing at all until the answer becomes clear to me. This is my mode of operation. I’ve also adapted aspects of my husbands very clear and positive approach, which comes from his “my glass is always half full” attitude. He knows no fear because he makes one clear plan and sticks to that plan until he sees it through to fruition and has achieved his goal. There is no need for a “Plan B” for him, as “only pessimists need a plan B or C” . I have also found this to be true, as I always felt comfortable with a “backup” plan, but he’s right, it’s planning for a failure. I am now facing the biggest challenge of my life, widowhood. My husband is helping me face that challenge in a positive way. And, so are you, thankyou. Honey once again for another reinforcing article that we all need during these times.