Yesterday, someone said, “Everyone wears a mask because no one is 100% authentic because of the human need to wear a protective shield.”
I thought about the comment and said, “You are right.”
I am drawn to authentic women, women who are not afraid to show their vulnerability; their true self. They have no superficiality.
Women in this category have the capacity to develop deep, supportive and bonding relationships. Many other women wear a mask at specific times for specific reasons. I understand. There are also women who wear too many masks or unsavory masks and must be quite unhappy. This, I do and don’t understand.
The Benefits of Dropping Your Mask
The women who shed their mask(s) will always be bloomers because they don’t play games with themselves or others.
They are genuine because they know themselves. In turn, they are able to combine what they say in harmony with their true feelings and have aligned their stars thereby becoming comfortable in their skin with their thoughts and actions. They are real.
Darlings, the ability to be you takes years. You have spent over 50 thus far! It is time to take action.
A Life-Changing Year
2018 has been a life-changing year for yours truly. I believe my change occurred because of the authenticity and legitimacy of my writings.
Honestly, I never realized the depth of my thoughts, the largeness of my life experiences; how nature and religion and my spiritual capacity have broadened my consciousness to my past, present and future.
Pretending to be who I am not is no longer an option in my life. I know who I am, what I need and what I love. Therefore, I understand my vulnerabilities and I know I want to flower and bloom all the days of my life. I wish this for all of you. It is the most refreshing feeling; stress-free and powerful in scope.
What to Do to Find Your ‘You’
My above feelings happened over time. As I got to know myself better through my writings, I began to experience the big picture.
I marveled at my life in its totality, with its pitfalls and accomplishments. How I solved my problems. How I learned from my accomplishments. The revelations were incredibly powerful as the pieces of my life fell into place.
I have also experienced a feeling of rebirth, a new found power that I could be exactly as I choose that is not only ok, it is great.
Keep a Journal
I suggest keeping a journal. It is the best ‘shrink’ in the world. You will come to understand your uniqueness and the scope of the things you have learned and accomplished in your life. You will be able to combine the pieces of your life into your life story and I believe you will say, “Wow!”
Darlings, it is the most uplifting feeling to reach this stage in life and feel confident enough in yourself to say to those in your life circle, “accept me and understand me and value me with my vulnerabilities or leave me be. I am going to be who I am.”
Can we agreeably disagree on subjects? Of course…
Find Like-Minded Friends
Having like-minded women friends is a good start. Do these women mirror your values?
If you are with female friends who make you feel anxious in any way, examine the friendship, and if you care deeply about the friendship, it is worthwhile to arrange an eye-to-eye meeting and talk to her openly. If the result of the meeting over time is unsatisfactory, let it go.
I know women who have fooled me with personality traits that I don’t like. There is no chance of sitting down and having a talk, so I say nothing and put a halt to the relationship by disengaging myself over time.
Use Your Mask for Good Only
There are times we all might don a mask for a positive outcome. You are being a good person and helping and remaining true to yourself.
I have given you a lot to think about. Right?
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I lost my husband two months ago unexpectedly.. I was terribly disappointed in a friend who said she was going to give me tough love only a week after I had buried my husband . She said I was accustomed to him taking care of everything and now I would have to learn to do it myself. She also said she knew from the beginning that he would not make it. She has been a close friend for years and she shockingly turned into a very insensitive person. Her main concern during his illness was that she missed me and was upset that I had not been in contact. I was a mess, hysterical at times, could do nothing but cry and I cannot forgive her for her comments. I said how I felt and hung up on her. Later came a letter of apology but still I cannot get past her comments. This is a thirty five year friendship and a person I have had many meaningful conversations with over the years. We spend one fun day together a week but I don’t feel I can return to this habit. You may have already written of how to be a friend during grief but if not I feel it is a worthwhile subject. I would not want anyone else to be in the receiving end of this type of comments when their heart is breaking.
I think her comments may have come out and appeared greatly insensitive. I guess you will have to consider the longevity if your frienship and how much of a positive impact she has had to you all along. We all say dumb things—myself included. And my huband sometimes says absurd things ( but that’s another story) . What I’m saying is once you step back —after a good long while—from her dopey comments, you may want to resume some sort of relationship.
True words of wisdom. Thank you. Warmly, Honey
I think friends, in general, are unequipped to deal with their friend’s loss. They do not know what to say. I think I might have a conversation, person to person, with her. She apologized. You were friends for 35 years. You loved many of her qualities. I think you two should have a heart to heart. I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. I have been in your shoes. Warmly, Honey
I am recovering from a brutal breakup with a man I lived with for 8 years. My good friend of 23 years has said insensitive things to me and generally been absent from my life for the past 8 months. I am gathering the courage to confront her with this to have an authentic discussion of how I feel about this.
This has been my year of authenticity. It has proven so far to be the hardest and most surprising thing Ive ever undertaken I surprise myself daily with who I am and what is me. I’m afraid, brave, fullfilled and surprised daily.
I love every word you expressed to me and the group. Warmly, Honey
Good morning Honey… I’ve so enjoyed your daily”vibe”. This one resonated with me deeply. Having spent most of my life in corporate sales, I had a great variety of masks to wear each day. Exhausting, but necessary.
Now as I breathe into my 70’s, it’s a relief to realize I’ve had a decade with my closet full of masks safely tucked away. I am who I am. Take me or leave me.
After reviewing a couple of surface friendships at the beginning of the year, I made the decision to sever them. One gently, the other with much more noise. There have been many other changes for me this year.. One is disconnecting the “busy” stuff on my phone… I now have 10 good books sitting on a shelf waiting to be read. Good old paper, not ebooks…
I realize how my life is blessed in so many ways.. One of them is meeting you through the greater Universe.
Sue
I believe in the greater Universe. We were supposed to meet. 🙂 Warmly, Honey
I’m exclusively drawn to people who are authentic, funny and can laugh at themselves. As I’m now in my 60’s , I have no interest or patience in chatting or , worse, a dinner date, with The Fake People. I can spot them fairly easily and quickly. Hmmm, probably why I became a nurse and not an actress!
Honey: this article really is perfect . All of us need to realize who we truly are and make our lives that fulfillment. It is a hard thing to do but it is my goal ito lead the life I was uniquely given.
You continue to be an inspiration through sharing your life and thoughts with all of us.
Thank you so much!
❤️☀️🌹
As you explore your uniqueness, you will come into your own and it is a breath of fresh air feeling. Warmly, Honey