Next Saturday, I will be sitting on an airplane for the first time in 33 years without my best friend, my ultimate concierge. As the plane lifts off for La Guardia in the Big Apple, I know tears will build-up as I struggle traveling alone to a group event without my constant sidekick. I am venturing out alone because he is too ill to travel. On a positive note he would want me to continue to celebrate life on a meaningful level—involvement in my groups.

Recently, I was invited to sit on the National Board of, ZOA, the Zionist Organization of America. I am flying into New York to attend an important yearly event. While there, I will have the opportunity to meet all the board members of the group, ZOA the oldest Jewish philanthropic organization in America. The group believes in the development and protection of the state of Israel and fights antisemitism world-wide. I am passionate about ZOA’S mission statement.

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The Evolution of My Involvement Leading Groups

Sitting at my desk at 6:00am on the 71st floor at our condo in the sky, the monumental meaning of the word GROUP rises to the surface of my mind because every woman’s life revolves around groups. We grow up in a family. As little girls we join a group of like-minded kids. As we mature, we join organizational groups that feed our souls in a variety of different ways. So we can interact, engage, and identify with other like-minded women.

This morning, I looked back into the window of my life and reflected on my journey through various groups. What once seemed like isolated experiences, each group existing in its own bubble, now appears as interconnected pieces in a vibrant quilt. From my 20s onward, a pattern emerged: each group, though unique, shared common elements that wove together into a cohesive whole.

My group involvement was no longer individualized but became a pattern stitched together and attached into one meaningful group quilt.

As I gazed upon the vast expanse of Lake Michigan, mirroring the Pacific Ocean in its vastness, I had one of my ah-ha moments: years of dedicated group involvement have cultivated the skills and knowledge necessary to excel as a group leader. Not only do I love leading groups, it is a role in which I thrive.

Leading Women In Groups: My Story

In my 20’s I began the journey. I became a member of several different groups from book clubs to charitable groups. I suppose without realizing it I watched different group leaders and their management style. Because groups are a form of self-care, this became important to me. We are each other’s sounding boards.

In my thirties:

I moved to Honolulu. As a newcomer, I knew no one was going to knock on my door so I picked myself up, ventured out of my comfort zone and joined a group of like minded women. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because I ultimately became the Woman’s Division Chairman for the State of Hawaii of this group and went on the division’s Western Region board.

In my forties:

I moved to Chicago as a young widow and remarried. At the start, I had no friends. So I joined a woman’s board of a charity that I held near and dear to my heart. Through my efforts, I made many like-minded friends.

In my fifties:

I lived six months of the year with my ultimate concierge in Rancho Mirage, California.

One evening over dinner, a friend asked for the tenth time, “Will you start a woman’s group?” She knew I was a fervent believer in women’s groups because she knew I believed that ‘women need women.’

My motto is “Doing nothing is not a choice.” I formed a group of women that met at our home in Rancho Mirage. The women were fifty years and older. For three years, we met monthly. We discussed women’s issues and helped one another. The group disbanded when my ultimate concierge and I sold our home and left Rancho Mirage.

The New York Times came calling

My next experience was a big one. I was approached by the New York Times to put together a multi-generational group of women. I chose 10 women—each of whom were friends of mine but not of one another. These women ranged in age from 28 to 96 years old. It was a roaring success. The group did not want to disband! They wanted to meet again. The New York Times sent a photographer who finally said, “I have to leave!” The event made the first page of the woman’s section in the Sunday paper! 

I have been asked to start another in-house group but I have not had the time, as of yet. But, truth be told I think I will because women need women especially after they become empty nesters and face the aging process.

I am not professionally trained to run groups. But, then darling, I am not professionally trained in anything. I am self-taught—not book taught—and as I say, “I like my approach just fine.”

Through years of trial and error, like you, I have earned a PhD in life! There is no better professor! 

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I’m Not a Professional Group Leader and I Like That Just Fine

Often times, over the past few years, I thought about the conversation over dinner with the friend who begged me to start another in-home group. The conversation confirmed that women need women and have a deep need to converse.  

I decided to shift from in-person groups to online groups—my private Facebook Groups: Women Over 50: Celebrate Visibility, Estranged Mothers and Grandmothers: Millions Strong, and Widows Support Group: Women Healing Together.

I shifted because I am able to reach thousands of women who have the need to converse with other women. And, because I am informed, I am happy to be their group leader. I celebrate life! I was widowed. And, I am the mother and grandmother of estranged adult children. And, these topics touch me deeply.

My Calling as an Estrangement and Self-Care Advocate

With joy in my heart, I realize I have found my niche. I am an Estrangement and Self-Care Advocate.

What is my next venture into group togetherness? Events, sweet reader, events! Large in-person group meet-ups. A big task. But, oh so exciting. I am thinking of the spiritual city of Sedona, Arizona as the location. I want to look into the eyes of my group members, give them a hug, and vice versa.

Sedona, with its red rock formations and powerful energy vortexes, provides the ideal setting for spiritual growth and self-care. It’s a place where we can connect with nature, meditate, and bloom.

Gathering in such a sacred space with like-minded women will foster a sense of community, understanding, and empowerment. Together, we can share our experiences, offer support, and celebrate our shared journey and our differences. I can’t wait to lead you through it!

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The Importance of Women’s Groups Online

Over the last several months, my free online groups have trended to 30,000 women and grown daily—by leaps and bounds. Women have an avenue, on these free sites, to express their innermost feelings with one another. 

I started these private Facebook groups with no advertising or fanfare. They have grown organically.  The women are from the United States as well as from different parts of the world. I can feel the group getting noticeably closer. And I know that my private groups add another worthwhile niche and dimension to a woman’s life.

Friendships are a different type of relationship than family because we get to choose! You would not go months with no contact with your family but you might go that long without contacting a friend.

It has been proven that group relationships make for a happier woman. As I said, being involved in a group or groups is self-care, darling!

Women Need Women

I have listened to young girls and someone as old as 100 talk about their female relationships. And, here is what they say: They want female relationships because they need someone they can depend on, someone to talk to, and someone to enjoy! 

A woman has to prioritize what experiences will make her happy and joyful in the moment. The newness of a group of women has its ability to arouse her thoughts by listening to her peers. 

If I have said it once, I’ve said it a million times, journaling is the best way to get to your answers. Whether you are looking to learn which experiences to prioritize, what type of group you would be most happy to join. Try it, darling. It is the ultimate self-care! You can browse my journals here.

Our Need for Communication

As I write my musings now, the following morning, I think of the ways women communicate on different platforms with other women. Emails. Texting. Snapchat, etc. These are all digital means and they work to a degree. Social media makes it possible to maintain more friendships, but shallowly. It is a life support system.

Obviously, the best and most joyful way is…to see each other in person.

A group of women meeting once a month is a nice detour from, “we have this to do, we have to do that.” Joining a group by choice is a lovely experience. And, the rewards are countless. This is my sunny side of the street view.

Join a group and join me on the sunny side of the street!

How involved are you in groups? Do you prefer in-person or online? Do you think of it as self-care? Please share with the “group” in the comments below!

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