There are so many lonely people in the world. But I am here to tell those of you who are in lonely marriages, living alone, divorced, or widowed…there are several ways of combating loneliness after 50. Ultimately, the solution lies within you.
Through Connections
I have found that the way to combat the feeling of loneliness is through connections. And, I do not necessarily mean with people. Of course, nothing is lovelier than the love between a man and a woman, a child and a parent and adult friends. Unfortunately, for some, these relationships are burdened with problems.
Back when my beloved pooch Orchid was with us, every day at 6 a.m., I would have to give her four pills. After each one, I would give her nose a kiss and tell her how much I loved her. Then, I would hug her and tell her that the pills would make her well. Darling, I felt overwhelmed with love as she stared up at me with her big black eyes, as if to say, “I understand.” We were loyal companions. I am engulfed in joy at the memory of her love and my love for her. When I think of love like ours, I am anything but lonely.
I Am Happy
As I walk into my living room, sit down at my computer, and stare out the windows to watch a magnificent sun rising in the East over the lake, I feel a strong and happy emotion as I watch the sun burst out of the lake. Darling, I am anything but lonely. I am captivated by this view. And, I am happy.
How To Beat Loneliness After 50
Dear readers, there are many ways to combat loneliness after 50. First and foremost, you have to put on your big girl panties and take positive action.
Buy a four-legged friend, pick up the phone and make a date with a person or persons you enjoy, take classes, join a church or synagogue, join a book club, talk about your loneliness to a best friend or professional, be friendly in a group, go on a group tour, reconnect with an old friend…or even join my private Facebook group, GRANDwomen with Moxie – Where Loneliness Disappears!
Clarify Your Purpose and Pursue It
Darling, you must clarify your purpose in life and then pursue it with a passion. Make sure you are not clinically depressed.
As well, I want you to realize you do not need a partner. I am remembering how lonely I felt when I lost my late husband. At the time, I lived in my beautiful Honolulu. Looking back twenty-seven years ago I remember how I began to heal. I surrounded myself with things I loved. A lanai filled with orchids. An apartment at the sea. And, a Koi pond filled with beautiful fish beneath my apartment, my daughter Jenny moved in, my dog at the time Mahalo, my favorite book, How to Survive the Loss of a Love, my four-mile walks each day with my pooch. I even had a romance with ‘time.’ Time heals and time became my friend.
When I was a little girl and lived in Kankakee by the Sea, at times, I felt lonely because I was in a minority. But, I played with my storybook dolls and wrote in my diary. Neither was human and yet they brought me joy and I was happy, not always lonely.
Bring Joy Into Your Life
As we age, we have time to think about what makes us tick. What arouses positive feelings for you? Bring more of that into your life!
I love to watch the sun come up, walk through my home and glance at my books and cherished gifts from family and friends, or look at photos of those I love, and smell fresh coffee brewing in my kitchen…
Darling, always be grateful for the good in your life and you will be happier and less lonely.
So, if you are feeling lonely because you are without a soul mate, latch onto other types of loves. Remember, loneliness is a state of mind that comes from forgetting what makes you content and happy.
Dear readers, how do you combat loneliness after 50? Let’s talk! I want so much to hear your opinions + feelings. I think we have a responsibility to share our wisdom, don’t you? Share yours either in the comments below or on Facebook and Instagram.
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Your way of escaping loneliness sounds perfect! For me I have always had dreams of what I want to do etc. that’s what they are…I must not have the desire as I seem pretty much a home body and the older I get the more I’m content. My husband of 50 years died 18 months ago and for some reason I feel pressure to “find” myself. Not many friends, my children are close and have been great but I don’t want to be a burden. I want them to live their lives…I must say I have tried many many things throughout my life clubs,classes, volunteering,traveling, grief groups etc. but it was all out of my comfort zone. All I really wanted was what I had. A wife,mother and homemaker. Am I really lonely? Wish I knew …just as confused and still dreaming of what I want to be when I grow up! I have been following you for several years and admire your style and zest for life. Just wish I could feel as comfortable with myself as you🥰
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You do know what you don’t like, good for you. You do know what you do like. You are no longer are a wife but you are a mom and homemaker. I am wondering if you have grandchildren? I am wondering if you have a pooch? I am wondering if you keep a journal? How about planning a family trip with your grands? Or your grands and your children? Or a trip with each grandchild, one at a time? Or bringing a new pooch home who will love you to the moon? Or buying my book on Amazon, Stories for my Grandchild and recording in your handwriting and words the history of your family to gift your grandchildren? I am interested in how you feel about what I just wrote. I will watch for your reply. Thank you for following me. I am so grateful. Warmly, Honey
Another inspiring and truthful blog. Great ideas!!! Enjoy the outside world with beautiful sunrises and sunsets, the sounds of birds singing, and even little geckos running to and fro where I live. Of course, Nothing like a fur baby to enjoy real unconventional love. Taking a walk always helps to produce positive endorphins. It might take a little effort like anything else worthwhile does; but, you can help yourself not to be lonely often😊
I love Geckos. They are good luck, you know. I lived in Honolulu. I love pooches, too and birds singing and walking and I believe as you, “You can help yourself not to be lonely.” It is early morning in my beautiful Chicago and your message started off my day with a smile. Thank you. Warmly, Honey
I turned 50 a few months ago. I have no husband, boyfriend or companion, but I’m not lonely! Listening to music and dancing have become passions of mine. Sometimes I dance around my living room for hours. It relieves stress, and fills my soul with happiness. Plus, it’s a great way to stay fit and healthy. Music can help heal the mind, body, and soul.
Thank you Honey for sharing your stories and encouraging us, women, 50+!
Good for you. My daughter takes dance lessons. Dancing is a sport, an exercise a great release. You found a great outlet. I am thinking about taking dance lessons. Warmly, Honey
So valuable. So true. So wise! Warmly, Honey