When you harbor resentment and anger toward others, you hurt yourself. Why? In general, the other person isn’t thinking about you. On another front, when you harbor anger, it destroys feelings of joy. Negative feelings are in your daily existence. So, how can you ward off these unpleasant feelings? Forgiveness.
Letting go of anger is one of the best things you can do for yourself to find peace and eventually joy.
Remember, sweet reader, “To err is human; to forgive divine.” Whether you erred or someone you care for erred, remember, it is human. To forgive is to shift your perception of the person or the situation from negativity to peace.
This can happen when you are open to examining other options and asking yourself if your interpretations of the situation are valid. Once you determine your options, you can face your reasons for the anger and reverse your negative feelings. One strategy could be to write a letter to the person you’re angry with, expressing your feelings.
Let Go Anger: Forgiveness is Freedom
Imagine the heavy load of anger you are carrying on your back being replaced with the fragrance of spring flowers. You will feel mentally refreshed and invigorated because you have opened your mind to finding constructive, forgiving ways. This newfound emotional freedom will bring optimism back into your life. Take a break to reflect, as even a brief pause can help you process your emotions and lighten your emotional burden.
I use the word ‘shift’ because the direction of the wind in my sails can shift my mood from feeling downtrodden to uplifting. This position shift allows me to change direction and feel the fragrance in the air. Recognizing your emotions is the first step to letting go of anger and moving toward healing.
As women over 50, we all have ‘good stuff’ to deal with daily. The burden of unforgiveness is an additional weight we don’t need. It’s emotionally and physically draining, preventing us from focusing on and living the best life possible. Let’s free ourselves from this drudgery and embrace forgiveness.
Maybe it is time you reached out and touched someone. We are touched when we feel a deep attachment. Our days are also touched when we are alienated and adrift with anger. I have felt disconnected and undervalued due to anger, which can make it hard to reconnect with my true needs. Today is the day to look in the mirror and touch your feelings. You may have realized the depth of your emotions when you took a moment to reflect. Take a moment to recognize your current emotional state. Self-reflection can provide valuable information about the root causes of anger. Sometimes, anger is pointing to deeper issues that need your attention. Opening your mind to forgiveness can help you move forward—explore new ways of letting go of anger and reclaiming your happiness. Self-reflection is the first step toward forgiveness.
To Release Your Burden Is to Embrace Joy
As Rosalind Russell, a renowned actress, once said, “Taking joy in life is a woman’s best cosmetic.” This quote reminds us that true beauty comes from within, and that includes emotional well-being and forgiveness.
I know, and so do you, that when a woman’s heart is filled with anger, she cannot feel joy. Frustration can also cloud your ability to experience joy, making it difficult to connect with your true feelings.
When she is angry, her mind is filled with static that cannot send out clear signals. By ‘clear signals,’ I mean the ability to think clearly, make rational decisions, and see the situation from a balanced perspective. Mindfulness practices can help clear this mental static and restore emotional clarity. With no clear signal, she has lost the ability to see with clarity. Understanding your emotions can help restore balance and promote healing.
As I have often written, “Listen to your heart; it knows.” Your heart is your intuition, and it communicates with you all day. Listening to your heart can lead to emotional freedom and a deeper sense of peace. I swear, when I don’t listen to my heart and my intuition, I make the wrong decision.
So, my sweet reader, I know you are wise enough to know your intuition tells you to throw away your anger because the feelings are so uncomfortable. Forgiving ways can lead to joy and emotional release. Adopting healthy ways to manage anger, such as deep breathing or talking to someone you trust, can make a significant difference.
When making rational decisions, it’s important to stay focused on positive outcomes and not let negative emotions take over.
Regular practices, such as mindfulness or journaling, can support your emotional well-being and help you maintain clarity and peace.
Reframing Situations for a More Forgiving Outlook
The problem every woman asks is, “ How can I do this?” One way to listen to your heart is to take a few moments each day to sit quietly and reflect on your feelings. Another is to pay attention to your physical reactions to situations, as these can often be a sign of what your heart is telling you. Take time to talk openly about your emotions, as sharing your feelings can help you process and understand them better.
You have to get your house in order, sweet reader. Your goal is to throw away the dirty dishes of anger. Today is the day you begin to dig yourself out from under your anger because it is exhausting, unproductive, and unrelenting. Unaddressed resentment can build up over time, making it even harder to move forward. It is time to untangle yourself from the negative clutter of angry thoughts to the positive clutter of commingling serenity and order.
“Imagine the heavy load of anger you are carrying on your back being replaced with the fragrance of spring flowers. You will feel mentally refreshed and invigorated because you have opened your mind to finding constructive, forgiving ways.” — Honey Good
Get out your journal and write down your intuitive feelings regarding your anger. Consider starting a gratitude journal as a way to shift your focus from anger to appreciation. Everyone has to find their personal plan. Your goal is to ultimately find sanity and serenity.
You will find both if you express yourself with authenticity and clarity — meaning getting your emotional house in order. Effective problem solving and learning to communicate your needs can help resolve anger and prevent future conflicts. Just like cleaning up your home, you have to clear away the anger in your mind and replace it with forgiveness. How you care for yourself and your feelings is significant to your emotional and physical well-being.
Some practical ways to manage anger include journaling, talking with someone you trust, or seeking anger management strategies.
From UNforgiveness to Forgiveness
Here is my strategy. When I am in an unforgiving mood, I stew and stew. It does not feel good, nevertheless, I allow myself to feel down and out because, after all, it is how I feel. Many people are struggling with the process of forgiveness, finding it a real challenge to let go of resentment. I cannot stomach going through the unforgiving process because it holds me captive from feeling true joy.
This feeling of unforgiveness will creep into my mind several times daily. I realize that while I am going through this process, it is unhealthy, but it is far more detrimental to my health to hide my true feelings. Guilt can also prevent healing, making it even harder to move forward.
This is the time to analyze the situation and ask myself, “Did I do something to prompt the problem? Am I overreacting with anger? Am I justified to be unforgiving? What action should I take to resolve an unforgiving heart?” It’s important to focus on what you can control, such as your own reactions and emotional well-being. Unresolved issues from the past can make forgiveness more difficult, as old wounds and hurt may resurface during this process.
The struggle to move past hurt is real, and many find themselves stuck, unable to let go of the pain that was caused.
It is difficult to forgive when it is a fact that unforgiveness is usually associated with people we hold close to us — our family, spouse, and dearest friends. Remember, forgiveness is about healing yourself as a person, not about changing or excusing the behavior of the other person involved.
Forgiveness is a struggle, and if you are struggling to forgive, know that you cannot force forgiveness; it must come naturally and at your own pace.
Setting boundaries is essential to protect your emotional well-being and to foster healthier relationships as you work through the process of forgiveness.
Why Anger Is Hurting You More Than Anyone Else
I always refer to one of Buddha’s sayings: “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Sweet reader, I believe that. Holding onto anger can affect all areas of our lives, impacting our relationships, work, and overall well-being.
Forgiveness is not excusing or condoning the actions of your family, spouse, or dearest friends. Rather it is about finding inner peace, and a solution that will release your pain and allow you to live a productive life.
The art of forgiveness is attainable. Both Eastern and Western philosophies offer valuable insights into forgiveness and emotional healing. Honest communication is the key to reconciliation. Effective communication can be led by empathy and understanding, helping to resolve conflicts and restore trust. Two-to-tango is the best solution with honest dialogue (learn how to have a heart-to-heart with moxie, here). If you want to release yourself from the shackles of anger, you may want to forgo the relationship but end it on good terms.
Let it go if someone close to you — a spouse, family member or close friends won’t forgive you. It is time to walk away. You will have to work hard on yourself to overcome your unforgiving feelings brought on by their rejection. Seeking life coaching can support your journey toward healing and personal growth.
Though I know that the rejection from family and close friends is painful, if you have tried to make amends you can and must feel good about yourself. Anxiety and stress can result from unresolved anger, so addressing these emotions is essential for your mental health.
On a personal note, I have a small rock on my perfume tray. It says, Accept. I preach to myself to accept the things I cannot change and never allow myself to have an unforgiving heart. Amen. Amen.
Solutions such as guided meditation, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques can help reduce stress and alleviate anxiety. Integrating practices inspired by both Eastern and Western philosophies can promote resilience and lasting calmness.
Remember, healing and forgiveness do not happen overnight; they require ongoing effort and self-compassion.
Practicing Self Care on the Path to Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a journey, and along the way, it’s essential to nurture your own emotional well-being. Practicing self-care is not selfish—it’s a vital part of maintaining mental health and creating a sense of balance in your life. When you focus on your own needs, you build the strength and stability needed to face relationship struggles and the ups and downs that life brings.
Many women find that setting aside even a few minutes each day for self-care can make a significant difference in their overall quality of life. Whether it’s attending a yoga class, taking a brisk walk, or simply enjoying a quiet cup of tea, these moments of physical activity and relaxation help restore your sense of self and well-being. Self-care can also mean reading a favorite book, listening to calming music, or taking a warm bath—whatever helps you feel calm and centered.
By prioritizing your health and well-being, you create a foundation of emotional stability that makes it easier to let go of anger and move forward. Remember, self-care isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about consistently choosing to care for yourself, so you can show up as your best self in your relationships and your life. When you make self-care a regular practice, you’ll notice a shift—a new sense of balance and peace that supports you on the path to forgiveness.
ARE YOU ABLE TO LET GO AND FIND HAPPINESS? LET’S START A DISCUSSION IN THE COMMENTS. I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU!
Such beautiful , light-filled photos in this post.
Thank you!!!! Warmly, Honey
As always ~ YOUR post is timely…. think subconsiously with Mother’s Day ( I prefer to think of it as a Hallmark day) brings up al ot of unforgiven angers.
Alot of good advice for me to give thought to this week.
TY~ patti
Thank you, Patti. Warmly, Honey