When you harbor resentment and anger toward others, you hurt yourself. Why? In general, the other person isn’t thinking about you. On another front, when you harbor anger, it destroys feelings of joy. Negative feelings are in your daily existence. So, how can you ward off these unpleasant feelings? Forgiveness.
Letting go of anger is one of the best things you can do for yourself to find peace and eventually joy.
Remember, sweet reader, “To err is human; to forgive divine.” Whether you erred or someone you care for erred, remember, it is human. To forgive is to shift your perception of the person or the situation from negativity to peace.
This can happen when you are open to examining other options and asking yourself if your interpretations of the situation are valid. Once you determine your options, you can face your reasons for the anger and reverse your negative feelings. One strategy could be to write a letter to the person you’re angry with, expressing your feelings.
Forgiveness is Freedom
Imagine the heavy load of anger you are carrying on your back being replaced with the fragrance of spring flowers. You will feel mentally refreshed and invigorated because you have opened your mind to finding constructive, forgiving ways. This newfound emotional freedom will bring optimism back into your life.
I use the word ‘shift’ because the direction of the wind in my sails can shift my mood from feeling downtrodden to uplifting. This position shift allows me to change direction and feel the fragrance in the air.
As women over 50, we all have ‘good stuff’ to deal with daily. The burden of unforgiveness is an additional weight we don’t need. It’s emotionally and physically draining, preventing us from focusing on and living the best life possible. Let’s free ourselves from this drudgery and embrace forgiveness.
Maybe it is time you reached out and touched someone. We are touched when we feel a deep attachment. Our days are also touched when we are alienated and adrift with anger. Today is the day to look in the mirror and touch your feelings.
To Release Your Burden Is to Embrace Joy
As Rosalind Russell, a renowned actress, once said, “Taking joy in life is a woman’s best cosmetic.” This quote reminds us that true beauty comes from within, and that includes emotional well-being and forgiveness.
I know, and so do you, that when a woman’s heart is filled with anger, she cannot feel joy.
When she is angry, her mind is filled with static that cannot send out clear signals. By ‘clear signals,’ I mean the ability to think clearly, make rational decisions, and see the situation from a balanced perspective. With no clear signal, she has lost the ability to see with clarity.
As I have often written, “Listen to your heart; it knows.” Your heart is your intuition, and it communicates with you all day. I swear, when I don’t listen to my heart and my intuition, I make the wrong decision.
So, my sweet reader, I know you are wise enough to know your intuition tells you to throw away your anger because the feelings are so uncomfortable.
Reframing Situations for a More Forgiving Outlook
The problem every woman asks is, “ How can I do this?” One way to listen to your heart is to take a few moments each day to sit quietly and reflect on your feelings. Another is to pay attention to your physical reactions to situations, as these can often be a sign of what your heart is telling you.
You have to get your house in order, sweet reader. Your goal is to throw away the dirty dishes of anger. Today is the day you begin to dig yourself out from under your anger because it is exhausting, unproductive, and unrelenting. It is time to untangle yourself from the negative clutter of angry thoughts to the positive clutter of commingling serenity and order.
“Imagine the heavy load of anger you are carrying on your back being replaced with the fragrance of spring flowers. You will feel mentally refreshed and invigorated because you have opened your mind to finding constructive, forgiving ways.” — Honey Good
Get out your journal and write down your intuitive feelings regarding your anger. Everyone has to find their personal plan. Your goal is to ultimately find sanity and serenity.
You will find both if you express yourself with authenticity and clarity — meaning getting your emotional house in order. Just like cleaning up your home, you have to clear away the anger in your mind and replace it with forgiveness. How you care for yourself and your feelings is significant to your emotional and physical well-being.
From UNforgiveness to Forgiveness
Here is my strategy. When I am in an unforgiving mood, I stew and stew. It does not feel good, nevertheless, I allow myself to feel down and out because, after all, it is how I feel. I cannot stomach going through the unforgiving process because it holds me captive from feeling true joy.
This feeling of unforgiveness will creep into my mind several times daily. I realize that while I am going through this process, it is unhealthy, but it is far more detrimental to my health to hide my true feelings.
This is the time to analyze the situation and ask myself, “Did I do something to prompt the problem? Am I overreacting with anger? Am I justified to be unforgiving? What action should I take to resolve an unforgiving heart?”
It is difficult to forgive when it is a fact that unforgiveness is usually associated with people we hold close to us — our family, spouse, and dearest friends.
Why Anger Is Hurting You More Than Anyone Else
I always refer to one of Buddha’s sayings: “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Sweet reader, I believe that.
Forgiveness is not excusing or condoning the actions of your family, spouse, or dearest friends. Rather it is about finding inner peace, and a solution that will release your pain and allow you to live a productive life.
The art of forgiveness is attainable. Honest communication is the key to reconciliation. Two-to-tango is the best solution with honest dialogue (learn how to have a heart-to-heart with moxie, here). If you want to release yourself from the shackles of anger, you may want to forgo the relationship but end it on good terms.
Let it go if someone close to you — a spouse, family member or close friends won’t forgive you. It is time to walk away. You will have to work hard on yourself to overcome your unforgiving feelings brought on by their rejection.
Though I know that the rejection from family and close friends is painful, if you have tried to make amends you can and must feel good about yourself.
On a personal note, I have a small rock on my perfume tray. It says, Accept. I preach to myself to accept the things I cannot change and never allow myself to have an unforgiving heart. Amen. Amen.
ARE YOU ABLE TO LET GO AND FIND HAPPINESS? LET’S START A DISCUSSION IN THE COMMENTS. I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU!
Such beautiful , light-filled photos in this post.
Thank you!!!! Warmly, Honey
As always ~ YOUR post is timely…. think subconsiously with Mother’s Day ( I prefer to think of it as a Hallmark day) brings up al ot of unforgiven angers.
Alot of good advice for me to give thought to this week.
TY~ patti
Thank you, Patti. Warmly, Honey