Darling, life has thrown me three overwhelming challenges all at once: the undeniable realities of aging after 50, the heartbreak of estrangement from my adult daughters and grandchildren, and, most painfully, watching my dearest love, my ultimate concierge, battle vascular dementia. To put it simply, I feel the weight of it all. I am constantly faced with the challenge of how to stay positive during hard times.

Aging? That’s the least of my worries, though I certainly feel its presence. But when it comes to the deep ache of estrangement and the daily heartbreak of my husband’s illness, I know I have a choice: I can either sink or swim. And darling, I want to swim! Yet some days, grief feels like an unforgiving tide, pulling me under.

So, how do I stay afloat? How do I stay positive during hard times? It’s not always easy, but I have learned that finding joy, even in the smallest moments, is the key to survival. Today, I want to share my heart and my wisdom with you.

How to Stay Positive Using The Promise of Joy

Recently, I had lunch with my daughter-in-law, Jami, my grandson, David Good, and my niece, Julie. In the middle of our conversation, Julie looked at me and said, “Honey, you’re depressed.” Her words hung in the air, and I couldn’t deny them. I cry at the drop of a hat, unable to hold back the daily waves of grief that wash over me. But let me be clear, while I have surrendered to my grief, I have not surrendered to life.

Through these difficult years, I have learned an invaluable lesson, one I want to share with you: most of us, often without realizing it, make our final decisions based on joy. The facts may shape the circumstances, but it is the promise of joy that ultimately guides our choices.

For example, my unwavering devotion to my ailing husband brings me peace. Despite the challenges, caring for him is not a burden, but rather an honor because love is my guiding force. I recently joined a national board, not for status or recognition, but because its mission ignites my spirit and gives me purpose. Darling, the next time you are faced with a decision, pay attention to what truly moves you. More often than not, it is joy, however small or fleeting, that leads the way forward.

The Power of Joy in Difficult Times

Depression and joy exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. When life becomes difficult, depression can feel all-consuming, threatening to dim a woman’s spirit. But joy? Joy has the power to enlighten, to fuel resilience, and to remind us that even in the darkest moments, there is still light to be found. Learning how to stay positive during hard times begins with seeking out that light—however small it may seem.

During hardship, a woman must expand her world rather than shrink within it. Finding a project that is intellectually stimulating, spiritually uplifting, and filled with joy can be a lifeline. Whether it’s pursuing a new passion, deepening connections with others, or simply making time for the things that bring happiness, these choices are what keep us moving forward. Darling, joy is not just a feeling; it is an action, a choice we make every day.

Passionate About Self-Care: The Secret to Staying Positive

Darling, after 50, a woman begins to think more seriously about time and how it has shaped her and where it is leading her next. If she’s not careful, she may find herself drifting into “the doldrums,” dwelling on what was rather than embracing what is. Even though I whisper la-de-da to myself, I know deep down that Father Time is always trying to take control. But here’s my secret… I take control right back! And so should you.

Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. If you want to know how to stay positive during hard times, start by prioritizing yourself. This chapter of life can be the most beautiful, the most freeing, IF you choose to make it so. Be passionate about the aging process! Focus on your inner allure while embracing your outer beauty with confidence and style.

Invest in your self-care:

• Treat yourself: manicures, pedicures, facials, massages
• Move your body: pilates, exercise classes, or long walks in the fresh air
• Refresh your wardrobe: dress for the vibrant, evolving woman you are today
• Keep learning: take a class, join a book club, or pick up a new skill
• Indulge in joy: travel, garden, redecorate, see a play, sip coffee at a café while people-watching.
• Nourish your mind: fill it with uplifting, thought-provoking content

A woman’s inner thoughts define her glow. I have known many women (some self-centered, some gentle, some bold) but the ones who radiate the most beauty are the ones who cultivate positive inner thoughts. When those inevitable low-light days come, remember this: Most problems are not black and white, but rather shades of grey. And grey, darling, is a color we can work with.

How to Stay Positive When Life Feels Heavy

But what if the weight of life doesn’t lift? What if the problems don’t magically disappear? I remind myself:

I am allowed to feel down, but I will never be out.

When the world feels heavy, I make a conscious choice to lift myself up. Not because it’s easy, but because I owe it to myself. I owe it to my well-being, my future, and my joy. If you’re struggling to stay positive, start small. Take one step forward. Then another.

To propel myself into joy, I have taken intentional steps to fill my life with purpose and renewal. I joined the National Board of ZOA, not for status, but because its mission excites me and gives me a deep sense of fulfillment. At home, I’m refreshing my space, creating an environment that feels inspiring, new and reflects the woman I am today.

I have also stepped into leadership roles due to my husband’s illness, navigating challenges that once felt impossible. It took time, but I can now say with certainty: I am a gentle woman, but I am not weak. Through it all, I continue my Pilates practice, lose myself in historical films, and escape into books that transport my mind beyond the present moment. And above all, I remind myself daily…

Positive and joyful times makes for a positive mind!

A Mindset Shift: Seeing Life in Shades of Grey

Darling, perspective is everything. Even when my heart aches, I remind myself to step back and see the full picture. Challenges will come, but how we choose to face them determines whether we remain stuck in darkness or allow light to seep in. Learning how to stay positive during hard times doesn’t mean ignoring pain—it means refusing to let it define us.

Finding the positive side of each situation has become a daily practice. Every commitment I take on must bring me joy, and any problem that arises is never black, but rather a shade of grey. Grey leaves room for light, for possibility, for hope. A shift in mindset makes all the difference, allowing gratitude to take the place of despair.

Even on the darkest days, tears may fall, and grief may weigh heavy, but they are never the final chapter. After a good cry, a fresh start awaits. Each new day offers an opportunity to see the glass as half full, to count blessings, and to choose resilience over sorrow. And darling, so should you.

Self-Care Tips on How to Stay Positive and Joyful

• Your age is just a number… own it.
• Be fierce after 50, this is your time.
• Your greatest asset? Your femininity- embrace it.
• Let go of grudges. They only weigh you down.
• Surround yourself with those who dance to your rhythm.
• Enjoy the freedom that comes with experience and wisdom.
• Pursue projects that light up your soul.
• Laugh, A LOT. It’s the best beauty secret.
• Prove yourself only to yourself because no one else matters.
• Say yes to new opportunities, no matter how unexpected.
• Fall in love with your own mind. It holds your power.
• Think in the shower each morning. That’s where the best ideas happen!
• And above all… be grateful.

Dear readers of mine, life is far too precious to be anything but joyful. Keep swimming, keep seeking, and most of all…

keep saying yes to the life you deserve.