This Mother’s Day, it’s time to mother yourself.
Happy Mother’s Day. Today, I celebrate you because you spent years of your life holding your children close, stroking their heads, helping them solve their problems, tucking them into bed, and telling them that all would be well. You asked for nothing in return except their love and respect. You were unselfish in your devotion. And what I find amusing is that mothers are only celebrated one day of the year! That leaves 364 days void of celebrating motherhood.
Though my mom and my grandmothers have passed away, I celebrate them every day for their unconditional love, values, and wisdom. I don’t believe that is the norm today with the social changes in families. On the other hand, I wish they were here to stroke my head, listen to my problems, and kiss me goodnight. We are always the children of our mothers and grandmothers, no matter our age.
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WHY YOU DESERVE TO MOTHER YOURSELF
Most of us are empty nesters, have scattered families, and are without mothers to guide us. Therefore, this is an appropriate time to pause for quiet introspection and ask ourselves if we have allotted enough time to take care of our bodies and minds 365 days a year. Yes, sweet reader, I want you to start mothering yourself.
“Make small and positive changes in areas of your life that you know will serve you. Choose self-kindness over self-judgment.” — Honey Good
For the past several months, due to circumstances beyond and within my control, I have woken every morning with a ‘worry knot’ in my stomach. This is a most uncomfortable feeling, especially when I used to wake each morning filled with joy.
I want to share with you the new rituals that I have found helpful because we all worry, have life pressures to different degrees, and do not put ourselves first in the care department.
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Spring is the season we bring order into our homes and also the ideal moment for seeking order within. It is the perfect time of the year to confront our disruptive emotional clutter—a spring-forward correction—in our ordinary stressful lives.
Seeking order starts with self-love. I know many of you are turned off by the term, and I was, too, but on thoughtful reflection, it is the appropriate term to describe how a woman who nurtures herself can live a well-balanced life. This woman is not a narcissist because the definition is having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance.
WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF SELF-LOVE?
In my eyes, self-love is self-kindness. In other words, it is a woman’s feeling of her self-worth, humanity towards others, a strong feeling of gratitude, care of her body, and a positive attitude toward challenges. It is patience, forgiveness, a loving heart toward herself and others, and, lastly, self-acceptance.
When a woman can package these ingredients in her head, she has created self-love. I find this definition of self-love the opposite of a narcissistic woman.
HOW DO WE CREATE THIS WOMAN?
Journaling is a positive way to look within yourself.
Seek ways to be kind to yourself. Instead of berating yourself, think about what you have achieved lately or the difficult decision you successfully made that raised your feelings of self-respect. Forgive yourself for past mistakes; take them as positive lessons learned. Make small and positive changes in areas of your life that you know will serve you. Choose self-kindness over self-judgment.
Each morning when you arise, take a small amount of time to reflect on how you will be kind to yourself during the day. Then, set your daily intentions. It is hard and uncomfortable, but starting this daily ritual will become more and more natural as time goes by. Before you know it, you will be able to become a woman who applauds herself. Remember to mother ‘the you within you.’ It is okay to be our own caregiver.
I suggest writing a letter to yourself. Take the pillars I mentioned above and write down your thoughts. Be purposeful and mindful. Mindfulness helps us tune into our true feelings and thoughts.
After you have completed your letter, ask yourself, “What did you find most powerful, pros and cons, in your letter? Have you changed your thoughts about the meaning of self-love? Do you understand that self-love is a powerful tool to make each day a little brighter and you a little wiser? What do you want to work on with enthusiasm instead of feeling guilty?
NOW IS YOUR TIME, MOTHERS!
You have exciting work to accomplish. It is the right time. You are over 50 and facing a new horizon that allows you the time to concentrate on yourself. Feed your intentions. Nourish yourself. This is all good stuff. Make it work. I am smiling. Amen. Amen.
Happy Mother’s Day, dear moms!
What are some ways that you plan on mothering yourself? I’d love to hear about your plans in the comments!
Thank you for this reminder. As a generation who was taught ‘self sacrifice’ as a way of showing love to others, it’s tough to adjust our mindset toward one that acknowledges our own self value. This is a great phase of life to explore ways to nourish ourselves while we continue to enjoy our loved ones!
Tough but necessary and will prove beneficial to your emotional and physical wellbeing. I know it is hard to think about self-love. My thoughts are your thoughts, so I understand where you are coming from. Remember: change is good. Warmly, Honey
Thank you, Honey! And Happy Mother’s Day!
I continue to work at good nutrition each day. It is a challenge for me to get enough protein and calcium. But that’s how I mother myself.
You are wonderful, Honey! Big hugs!
Good for you! You are wonderful, Diana. Warmly, Honey