Many women feel vague about themselves. What do I mean by vague? They lack confidence. They no longer feel radiant. These women are at the crossroads of life and don’t know how to project their authenticity after the age of 50.
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Why? I do not have all the answers. From reading many of your comments, there are different reasons. Some women want to trade themselves in for a slimmer version, and some want to change their hairstyle, but fear of change stops them. Some women feel invisible. And there are some women who are not willing to climb the stairs into the wonderful world of being 50 and beyond.
Why? Because it feels safe, but why is that when you are so uncomfortable in your skin?
“If we grew up in a supportive environment, our self-esteem is strong. If we did not, we must learn to mix our own elixir.” — Honey Good
Many of you don’t realize how great you are. You feel you don’t portray the ‘woman of today in the magazine,’ you are out of vogue, so to speak. Remember, darling, those younger and older women are airbrushed, rebrushed, and photographed by the best photographers in the world. They are a commodity. You can be a force if you will stop to applaud yourself!
You don’t have to wear layers of make-up to cover your age; you don’t have to bleach your hair blonde or have a tummy tuck. Darling, you have layers of wisdom that are truly beautiful inside your head. And I will preach this again and again, a beautiful woman has inner beauty. A beautiful woman has an essence, a spirit that she owns after living for over 50 years.
A True Story of Confidence
I just returned from my Ultimate Concierge’s conference in Miami. A younger friend in her 50s rushed up to me with sparkling eyes, a big smile, and a bigger hug. I felt her positive energy—it rushed through me. I was elated to see her.
She is a captivating woman, full of personality, and some may consider her to be overweight. It matters not one bit to her. She knows she is a woman who is beautiful. Her confidence level is high.
How does this happen? I think she knows there is a difference between self-esteem and self-confidence. Nevertheless, the next time I see her will be at Gene and Georgetti’s, one of my favorite restaurants in Chicago, and I am going to ask her to join me.
You may enjoy reading How to Boost Your Body Confidence After 50.
The Difference Between Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
Self-esteem is how we feel secretly about ourselves. Do you accept and approve of yourself unconditionally? The quality of self-esteem is connected to the relationship we had with our first critics—our parents. If they loved you unconditionally and approved of you, then you probably have a high quality of self-esteem.
Self-confidence is a special potion, our spirit, that prepares us to face and surmount our life challenges. It is different from self-esteem. It is our attitude, experience, wisdom, optimism, and faith.
If we grew up in a supportive environment, our self-esteem is strong. If we did not, we must learn to mix our own elixir. In other words, self-confidence is always available, especially for women over the age of 50 who are blessed with many of life’s tools.
What I Call Moxie
My friend’s optimistic attitude is essential to her self-confidence. I think she learned that everything in her life is based on ‘I can.’ Though she may be overweight, she tells herself she can be a magical woman, and so she is.
How has she accomplished this? Her presence is important to her. She dresses as though she is a top model. Last Christmas, I remember what she wore. An emerald green velvet tent dress, beautifully shiny coiffed long hair with a reddish hew, great posture, a smile that lit up the room, and a laugh that was infectious in a room crowded with others. Her weight was meaningless.
Her Personality is the real key to her success. She is smart, warm, and a good listener. She is likable and confident.
And she knows others will notice her weight. I assume she has learned to have a positive agenda so others will not see her weight as a weakness. They will see her strength in her inner beauty. I think she has learned to prepare her own recipe for Moxie! Moxie she has, to the hilt.
She dresses in outfits that exude self-confidence and then switches on with the most delightful and knowledgeable personality. She is not airbrushed, darling. My friend is the real deal.
Eleanor Roosevelt and Helen Keller
Two women of history I revere are Eleanor Roosevelt and Helen Keller. Mrs. Roosevelt was not in the least attractive. Helen Keller could not see or hear. They met every new opportunity and challenge, and the world is better off because of them. And they were not airbrushed! Yet, they exuded beauty.
Gather Confidence by Accepting Your Age Over 50
So accept your age of over 50 with grace to have the will to reach new heights. Use your inner strength, and even if your parents were critical, you can rise above their criticism.
Now I will leave you with this, when you learn to act with confidence, you will become more confident. Carry on, darling, carry on. Project your authenticity with fortitude and pride. You cannot change the fact that you are a woman over 50. Wear the title proudly. Like my favorite perfume, Baccarat Rouge 540, only a smidgen is needed to enhance your authentic aura and self-confidence.
Do you feel like you’re confident? Is it something you’re working on? I’d love for you to share in the comments.
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