Many have asked me how I’ve become such an authentic version of myself! So here’s how you can start working toward being authentically you, darling. 

 

*Affiliate disclosure.

When you walk up to a woman at a meeting or meet her at a party or walking down the street, you are unconsciously registering information about her because of the way she is dressed and the manner in which she carries herself. In other words, you are already forming opinions about her.

‘Delete’ What Doesn’t Make You Happy, Find New Beginnings

Being Authentically You in First-Time Meetings

I am visualizing first-time meetings I have had with strangers that ultimately became friends. When I see a woman coming toward me she is announcing important information or misinformation about herself without saying a word. Her age, her style, her personality — cool or warm. And, she was assessing me as well, unless I am careful, she may not see me as my authentic self. By the time we stop and chat, each of us has formed an idea about the other.

If you read my words carefully you will note I mentioned the word ‘misinformation.’ You see darling, not every woman is able to announce who she really is because she has not laid claim on her true authentic self…yet.

Are You Being Authentic?

I can say this with clarity because I have met so many women and have been fooled by some, though not intentionally. So sit back and ask yourself if you are the real you or if “another woman” is portraying the authentic you. This can be a very positive discovery because you can begin to rid yourself of that “other woman” and love yourself for who you are.

You may be a quiet woman and have personal moxie or you may be that woman who presents herself with a, “Hello world, here I am.” Feeling this authenticity within is an emotional cleansing and a very powerful moment.

So darling, listen to subtle signals the woman within is sending you and you will begin to reflect your own best image… your authenticity.

Now for the fun part. Go into your closet and clear out the fashion clutter that is not authentic to your style.

This is my advice: Ask yourself, “What is my authentic signature?” I will give you a hint by expressing mine. I follow the Marie Kondo (Buy her book! You will thank me!) style of purging and organization, with a dash of my own touch. Read a full rundown on my organization process, and how it brought peace to my mind here.

My Authentic Self

My authentic self, my outer signature style, is simplicity with a flair. With my outer appearance, I make a statement without a word coming out of my mouth. I live by a strong set of standards that are set in stone (simplicity), and I sprinkle them with my personal adoration of life, family, people, curiosity, intention, style, culture, and on and on. My accessories, say to another woman, “She knows who she is and she has an attitude! She owns her personal flair!”

Now pinpoint who you are. Once you have, you have succeeded. And please take your time. You will be able to move into a mindset to clear away clutter while identifying the colors and styles you cannot live without that represent your authentic self. Suddenly you will see clarity in your closet. It will begin to resemble your authentic essence! In other words, you are about to reassess and revise part of your style.

To Become Authentically You, You Must Part with Mistakes

Now it is time to part with fashion mistakes (we all make them) that are taking up space. I know this is daunting and hard psychological work but once you start and finally accomplish this difficult feat, I promise you that there are few things as satisfying as bringing order into a chaotic closet. Oh, and I almost forgot my dresser drawers!

Redoing a closet and drawers takes planning. Before I begin this task I have at my disposal extra-large plastic garbage bags and Alexa playing soft Hawaiian music. I begin to tackle my closet and drawers by discarding clothes and I lay them on our bed. I begin to make three piles of giveaways. One for my family, one for The Real Real (shoes), and I donate to strangers I will never meet but I know I will make them happy!

Edit, Edit, Edit!

Now begins the hard part. I try on clothes and decide what goes. First I edit out sweaters, purses, scarves, hats, and shoes with one thought in my mind: “Does this make me feel fabulous? Does this outfit represent who I am? Is this blouse trendy? Is this outfit self-defining?”

Be willing to experiment with what works. How about a t-shirt with a dressy designer jacket. Oh! If you are in love with an outfit that is too small only go up one size. Most fashion is a show-off for the season, style is forever.

True Authenticity

I have one strong message for you, darling. Style is a philosophy…your philosophy and your biography. Possess it! Own it! It represents a big portion of your inner power. It is your true authenticity.

Embracing Your Authentic Brilliance Beyond the Closet Cleanse

So, you’ve cleared the fashion clutter, darling, and unearthed your unique style signature. But remember, true authenticity goes beyond the clothes we wear. It’s about radiating confidence from within, embracing your quirks and talents, and letting your inner light shine. Here are a few ways to cultivate your authentic brilliance:

1. Unmask Your Passions

What sets your soul on fire? Is it painting, writing, gardening, or volunteering? Rediscover activities that bring you joy and dedicate time to nurture them. When you engage in your passions, you exude an undeniable energy that attracts others who share your enthusiasm.

2. Embrace Your Quirks

Don’t try to fit into a mold that doesn’t resonate with you. Embrace your quirky tendencies, the things that make you uniquely you. Whether it’s your infectious laugh, your love for vintage movies, or your obsession with collecting seashells, own your quirks with pride. They’re the brushstrokes that paint the beautiful canvas of your individuality.

3. Speak Your Truth

Don’t be afraid to express your genuine thoughts and opinions, even if they differ from the crowd. When you speak your truth with conviction and kindness, you inspire others to do the same, fostering authentic connections built on mutual respect and understanding.

How To Beat Loneliness After The Age Of 50

4. Embrace Imperfections

Nobody is perfect, darling! Trying to be is an exhausting and ultimately futile pursuit. Instead, embrace your imperfections. They are part of the story that makes you who you are. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move forward with grace and a dash of self-compassion.

5. Celebrate Others

True authenticity thrives in an environment of mutual respect and appreciation. Celebrate the unique brilliance of others, their talents, and their journeys. When you uplift others, you not only spread joy but also create a space where everyone feels empowered to be their authentic selves.

Remember, darling, your journey towards authenticity is a continuous exploration, not a destination. Embrace the journey, celebrate your unique quirks and passions, and let your inner light shine brightly. The world needs your authentic brilliance, so go forth and share it with the world!

And of course, let’s keep the conversation flowing! Will you try to find your authentic self this spring? Let’s discuss this in the comments at the bottom of this page. I want to hear from you!

Did you like this story? Please consider subscribing to my newsletter for ongoing inspiration for women over 50.