Travel is transformative and travel after loss can help you through.
I wrote this as I traveled. I was in Paris with my Ultimate Concierge. Travel is truly transformative and I got to thinking about how it can be a form of therapy. I will share my story of how travel helped me in a time of surviving the loss of a love.
After a loss there is change. When I think about the transitions one goes through to survive a loss, certain words come to my mind. On a personal level, I am beset with worry, sadness and fear of the unknown. I feel stuck. Paralyzed. I need time to digest my situation.
To overcome loss may days, weeks, or even years. When I lost my late husband my loss took years, even though I found another love.
A person’s loss lessens when one comes to terms with their circumstance. Only when you come to terms with your loss will you be able to replace sadness with renewed motivation and hope, inspiration with aspiration and finally, the ultimate, the return to the joys of life.
Loss can come in all forms. The loss of a loved one, a job, retirement, a friendship, a pet, financial stability, and what about the loss of self? The severity of the loss could spring from several factors, not least of which, the degree to which your day to day life is affected. These are all valid forms of loss that affect one’s mental health in different ways, and require their own grief journey.
THE POWER OF POSSIBILITIES
Journaling can support you in working through your new reality and planning travel after loss — no matter the type of personal loss.
Running away from a loss never works. In actuality it is impossible. When you are unable to confront loss you will never be freed from your emotional pain. I recommend journaling, even if you are not directly writing about your loss, as a way to process your new life. Everyone needs time. And oftentimes the assistance of a professional is needed to help you in your struggle.
I recall it was the seventh month after my late husband, Michael, passed away that my ability to deal with life began to return. Each of the previous months when I visited my hair stylist for a haircut or trim he would ask me, “How are you feeling?” For six months I said only four words, “I am so sad.”
The seventh month I vividly recall saying to him, “ I am feeling a little better.’
TRAVEL AFTER LOSS AS A FORM OF THERAPY
Travel and having new experiences can help you understand who you are and what you’re going through.
At the beginning of the 10th month, I decided to travel with my daughters. The trip was part of our grief process. I decided we would go to a hiking Spa, The Ashram, in Calabasas, California.
My decision was emotionally healing and helped tremendously with my grieving process. Twelve guests lived together in an old house with one shared bathroom. But outside the door of the home were miles upon miles of lush hiking trails in the Topanga Canyon. And just a few miles down the road from the home was the gorgeous sand beach of Malibu and the vast Pacific Ocean.
For one week my daughters and I hiked different mountain trails and walked the beach in Malibu. We cried together, hiked together, and shared our personal grief with nature as our fourth soul mate.
My decision to travel after the death of a loved one was spontaneous. To partner with nature ten months after our loss was therapeutic and supported my mental health in untold ways. My timing was perfect.
YOUR TYPE OF LOSS MAY DETERMINE YOUR DESTINATION
There are so many different places to travel, the whole world is there to consider. Though travel is often not about the destination, in this case, consider a feeling. The place you chose depends on your personal type of loss.
In addition, there is the consideration of who to travel with? You may consider joining a well-planned group trip like the one I have planned for next September, or you may want to travel solo and take things at your own pace. Read this full deep dive on transformative travel to become a worldly woman.
Whether you are struggling with the loss of a love or leaving the workplace, or a fractured friendship or any type of serious relationship. Or becoming an empty nester or any other situation of loss do count travel as part of your healing process. I suggest listening to your heart. It knows the trail you should travel. Trust me, I know.
After any form of loss, you have a choice – you can open up and bloom or remain tight in the bud and resist. It can be difficult when one is sad to know how to celebrate small emotional wins that will ultimately create joy. I suggest trying to find joy in everything, even a bright, happy umbrella protecting you from the rain. Surviving loss is composed of several tough journeys that ultimately will lead to healing and joy.
What have you done to celebrate small moments after a loss? Please share in the comments at the bottom of this page.
My husband passed last year, and my children and grandchildren took me to a winery for dinner and great conversation. I created a new joyful memory for that day.
What a lovely message. I loved reading it. Warmly, Honey
Last September, my husband suffered a major setback following open heart surgery. He was in ICU for 2 months and a rehab hospital for another month after that. I handled the situation fine going through it as well as the home health for 2 months thereafter. Once he was able to drive himself to get out of the house, I fell apart! I’m sure it was the after effects of the tremendous stress. I began with extreme anxiety along with some bouts of depression. I believe that I am grieving our life that “was” and that may never be quite the same again. Medication, theraputic couseling, and the love of family and friends are helping greatly. It will just take time. We have traveled the world in the past, which I dearly loved and miss. However, we’re slowly getting back to it with an Alaskan cruise in August. I’m praying that trip will also be the beginning to the new life that lies ahead with infinite possibilities!
Thank You Honey for all you do!
Shari
I know how you are feeling. It is sad, the realities of life. You wish time could reverse itself, but know it cannot. And, you have no control over this. You are fortunate you have a great family and friends to help. You are fortunate your husband recovered. You are fortunate that you have Alaska to looking forward to. Thank goodness. But I understand that reality has hit home. For me, too. I just try try try to think positive thoughts and be grateful for my blessings. Warmly, Honey
My therapist suggested, mourning the loss of my very much alive grown adult son. He removed us from our grandchildren’s lives. Haven’t seen them in 3 years now. Thankfully we have 5 more grandchildren, whom love us dearly as we love them dearly! It’s been 11 years of non stop arguing. It definitely took a toll on us. I think the mourning process has helped and now moving in the right direction! More time now to focus on our 5 Loves!
You are fortunate to have five who adore you. I am happy for you. In order to recover the loss of our loves, we must mourn to recover. I am glad you are moving in the right direction.Warmly, Honey
My husband died on July 15, 3 months ago i don’t have money to travel. I’m lost @ scared all the time. I lost 3/4 of my income
I have panic & anxiety.
I am sad for you. Do you have a supportive family? Tell me more if you choose. This will eventually become a time for self-growth. You will survive. Anxiety is normal. Panic can be prevented when you find a support system with guidance. Please join my Sisters in Widowhood Private Facebook group.It is free. The women are wonderful and will wrap their arms around you. Tell them your story and they will try and help. Join today. A positive first step. Warmly, Honey