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As a woman who has lived through many passages and learned through my larger than life experiences (positive and negative), I’ve discovered how to take a big empowering bite out of life.

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Jealous Friends? Signs and Steps to Fix ‘Em

Jealous friends can make your life difficult. We would all be happier not having friends who are envious of our accomplishments, relationships, and possessions, right?

Jealousy is the Green MonsterYou know the saying, “Green with envy.”

We all have had a few ‘silent’ incidents when we mention a happy experience, have a gorgeous new material possession or one of our grands has had an over the top award. Where is the smile of happiness on our friend’s face? Why over lunch with friends is there no response or conversation when you have joy? At our fabulous stage of life, we should associate with friends who can feel joy and happiness for us.

Jealous Friends: Two ways to deal with Jealous Friends.  

  1. You should open yourself up and express your feelings — I would.
  2. Or if this continues, just delete that person out of your life — I would.

Everyone feels a tinge of jealousy from time to time. You feel you lack something in comparison to your friend. It is a response to what you believe your friend is lucky to possess — her skills, charm, popularity, material possessions, weight, beauty, confidence, family life — her whole persona.

However, jealousy in some women is chronic. These women feel inadequate, and this causes insecurity which leads to a lack of peace and a strain on their relationships. Alas, they are the “green with envy” type. Do you know women like this?

How to Prevent Feelings of Jealousy

Jealousy is prevented when women over 50 are feeling fabulous and fulfilled in aspects of their own lives including their marriages, social life, careers, hobbies, and friendships.

If you are feeling blah and down, try and improve your circumstances. Sure it is hard, but you can do it. The challenge and then the success will bring you satisfaction, your self-esteem will rise, your insecurity will diminish, and your jealous feelings will lessen.

Signs You Have Jealous Friends

Jealousy is tricky. You can have suspicions that a dear friend is not authentically celebrating your wins, but how do you know? Here are a few signs:

  1. Your friend is competitive.
  2. Your friend is unsupportive of things that make you happy.
  3. Your friend is jealous of your relationships, family and spouse or partner.
  4. Your friend is jealous of your friendships with other women.
  5. Your friend is jealous of you.
  6. Your friend looks away when you share stories about joyful happenings in your life.
  7. Your friend changes the conversation or there is silence.

I have a friend whose lifestyle will never match mine. She is single, has to work, has lost a child and has very little family — but she is proud of who she is and she has few insecurities. She is always overjoyed for me, and I marvel and respect her. She knows, the way women with self-confidence do, that nothing I have is truly better than what she has. Perhaps different, but not better. She knows that we are not in competition and that my success or happiness does not come at the cost of her own. This savvy, self-confident friend of mine knows that there is ENOUGH to go around and that she is also ENOUGH.

When to Cut Things Off

Remember, friendships are voluntary relationships that should be mutually satisfying.  When they are not, it is time to bow out nicely. Jealous friends should not be part of the lifestyle of a visible, vibrant woman over 50. Do you agree?

I would so love to hear what you’ve tried on Twitter, FacebookPinterest, Instagram or in the comments section below.

 

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November 9, 2018

Passages After 50

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  1. Patricia Cochran says:

    I would love it if you could add even more! I really need this right now.

  2. Kay Stringer says:

    Sad to say but my own Mother was jealous of me for many years, until she passed away. It took a friend to point our that fact to me and then I began to notice. It was very hurtful but I have put it behind me. Truly I cannot imagine being jealous of my child. I am happy for her accomplishments and love that she and her husband have a great marriage and are the parents of my wonderful grand daughters! Thank you for providing a place for me to say this.

  3. Connie says:

    I grew up with jealousy from my stepmother, it was unmerciful. My mother died when I was 2 years old and I have always missed her. My Dad and I lived with my Grandparents (his parents) until he remarried when I was 7. I always thought it was a terrible thing for my stepmother to be jealous of a dead woman. But she was, she had all the signs you list above, and it all came out in the way she treated me. She has always been jealous of my relationships with friends, my spouse, my career, terribly critical. I am now age 63, she is 92. My stepmother now has dementia and things are, of course, forgiven. I have always been sad for her that she suffered so from jealousy, what a waste. Funny thing was, I knew it, even as a child.

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