We all have regrets, which are self-imposed punishments — I see those as the pits in the sweet bowl of cherries that we call life. Some pits linger inside forever, some are throwaways after we make amends to those we love. There are dumb things we did or didn’t do, and some have been put in the wrong pew. But most are relationships where we took the wrong turn at a fork in the road. What do they all have in common? They make a person feel guilty.

I could fill a jar with pits. I could sit and stare at the jar filled with the pits, recalling my regrets, but I don’t because each pit opened a positive new window to my world when I gained new knowledge and skills. And I was able to celebrate each positive discovery, no matter how small. I never saw a pit as a failure; I saw it as an opportunity.

Yes, I am human. I err. I have regrets. Over the years, I have learned that regrets are a gift—a life lesson—that carries me on to new heights.

Learn How to Be Grateful for Your Pits

My jar of pits contains a variety of regrets. And then there are the cherries, those delicious cherries, that represent wise decisions. As the saying goes, “You win some. You lose some.” As long as the pitiful regrets cause us to take stock, they can become winners. It is not that complicated when you are mindful.

The pits taught me to be mindful and clear in my thoughts and judgment. Bravo, dear pits! I save you in the jar to remind me to be careful in how I handle myself in difficult situations. And to focus, and to adapt to circumstances that could cause me or others confusion or emotional pain.

“I have reached a stage of empowerment, feeling mighty when I use my inner power to remove a regrettable pit from my jar. It feels almost dreamlike to reach a positive decision and learn a powerful lesson from my regret.” — Honey Good

Thank you, dear pit, for making me a wiser woman because I study my regrets. I ask myself why my blunder led to regret. What I don’t do is turn a blind eye to my mistake. Next, I prioritize until I make progress and was able to turn a poor choice into a wise one.

Dear sweet reader, all regrets — the pits — are not negatives if you think about them as I do; each pit of regret will propel you to new heights. Those pits of regret can transform your life if you see the situation for what it is and act appropriately.

Pits come in all forms of lessons to be learned, from small regrets to larger ones.

The Wisdom of How to Handle Rejection

Are You Looking Forward?

Living with regret is daunting. It’s better to face the music and dance your way out of it. The past is the past. It will never be repeated. The present is a gift, and if you are able to learn from the past pits of regret, your present will become “your” bowl of cherries! Ask me; I know.

In other words, stop repeating your regrets. Discipline yourself. Make apologies. Delete people in your life who do not bring you joy. Reach for a passion you have shelved and give it a try. Stop fearing fear and live outside your box. Oh! I could go on and on. You know what I mean. I want you to have a life filled with cherries!

I am an old soul but a young soul. Why? I take my licks and do my darndest to dance through them. Whatever it takes, I do it. Because I am wise enough to know that regrettable pits are a burden that take their toll on a woman’s life.

I don’t look back — I look forward — and so should you.

I cannot change what was, but I can change what is. And so can you. I have reached a stage of empowerment, feeling mighty when I use my inner power to remove a regrettable pit from my jar. It feels almost dreamlike to reach a positive decision and learn a powerful lesson from my regret. It is a sigh of relief, packed with peace and energy. You can feel what I feel, too.

Sit down in a quiet place when you are feeling calm and collected and think about the regrets that linger; that play havoc with your daily life. It’s the pits, right?

You are the master of your fate. The ball is in your court. It is up to you to take the bull by the horns and shift your situation from pit to cherry. You are capable of doing this.

Let’s face it, sweet reader, when you have to figure out how to dismantle your regrets, you are in a private battle.

How to Reap Your Bowl of Cherries

I suggest spending some time alone. It will help you understand your feelings. You should not depend on the comfort of others because you have to live with your own answer. The quiet of the day or night when you have the solace to think will be your friend—not others.

No one knows you better than you know yourself. Have faith in your ability to do whatever it takes to turn a regret into a positive lesson.

Regret is an awful feeling that you feel in the pit of your stomach. It arises because you believe there was something you did or should have done differently to avoid a negative outcome.

How do you rid yourself of regret?

• Make amends: If possible, apologize and try to repair any damage caused by your actions.
• Journal your feelings about the situation: Writing down your thoughts and emotions can help you process them and move on.
• Understand you are human: Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself for your imperfections.
• Take responsibility: Acknowledge your role in the situation.
• Stop feeling guilty: Guilt is unproductive. Focus on learning from your mistakes.
• Forgive yourself: Let go of the self-blame and negativity.

Move on to the positive forces in your life — that full bowl of sweet, delicious cherries — while simultaneously trusting yourself to do better in the future. Set boundaries that prevent you from dwelling on past regrets. You can achieve this by trusting your ability to make better choices going forward.

What’s a situation in which you’ve turned pits into empowerment? Tell me your story in the comments.

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