(Paragraph 2)Because of my lifestyle, I have met hundreds of women in their 50’s 60s, 70s, 80’s and beyond who are enjoying their lifestyles after 50, even those living under unpleasant circumstances.

( 3) I have also met women living a somewhat hum-drum and boring existence under pleasant surroundings and circumstance because they are feeling invisible, lonely and fear the unknown.

( Paragraph one)   Writing  in the early hours of the mourning makes me happy especially this morning because we are  vacationing in the Sunshine State, Florida. The sun is just beginning to rise and I listen and watch the gentle surf, from my balcony, as it joins with the shoreline. The scent of the salt air disarms me and though I am alone (my ultimate concierge is fast asleep) I am not lonely. I think about my mother. I owe her so much because she gave me  the tools to live life to its fullest. I think about Kankakee by the Sea that toughened my resilience. I think about my father who taught me to take the high road. I think  about my grandfather’s wanderlust and his respect and love for Judaism. I think about how lucky I have been  to have such powerful role models and I am grateful, As I go within,  I feel myself blossom on the outside. That is a woman’s true beauty. Your beauty is from within. If you can  understand my theory you will never feel invisible.        (Legh  please start the story with  this paragraph)

Every women, after a  certain age, is faced with new passages in her life, including yours truly. Some have a very hard time weathering change.

They retire and lose friends. They become empty nesters and lose family. They move and have to ‘start all over again.’ They age and when they look into their magnifying mirror they don’t like what they see. They lose a spouse. They divorce. Their friends fall into the same rut they are in.

Why are many women able to leap forward and many others  get stuck, feeling lonely and invisible. I think the reasons are AGING in a youth idolized society and FEAR of the unknown.

I think fear paralyzes many women from moving forward because the fear of newness in a w0man over 50’s life is overwhelming.

A PEP TALK

Fear.

My philosophy is never  let fear of the unknown stop you from living your life to its fullest. You, my sweet reader, owe this to  yourself. So do what I do: take a deep breath and dive!  I want you to dive. I have made plenty of mistakes and so will  you but one mistake I  have never made is making the decision not to try. I have never and will never let fear lesson my self-confidence and optimism. Nor should you

Aging.

I think ageing is also paralyzing for many women. As they say: Aging is not for sissy’s. So I say, don’t be a sissy! Sure we have grey in our hair, lines on our face, our bodies are not what they use to be, our hands don’t lie, we begin  to feel invisible because of society looks upon us as old.

I will reiterate my feeling: As you go within yourself  you will  blossom on the outside.

Curiosity

Listen to your heart and I mean trust it. It will aid you in choosing a lifestyle that peaks your curiosity. A curious mind brings joy on your face, in your posture, in your conversations, in the twinkle in your eye and all of the above will attract others to  you. Now you  can  be the visible ‘you in you ‘at every age. I know that  80% of a woman’s beauty is her inner beauty.

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(Paragraph 4)   Some are married, some single, some widowed or divorced. Some have aches and pains, some have suffered through illnesses, some are ill. Some have successful careers; others are searching for a purpose. And there are many who have had to learn to conserve their retirement funds.

I noticed these women were self-starters. They took courses, played cards, learned to needlepoint, joined groups,  exercised, did crossword puzzles, still had their careers or started new ones after the age of 60 and beyond. They traveled solo or with spouses, gabbed with girlfriends for fun and support, moved to retirement communities and spent loving time with their family.

They were self-motivated – even those with problems – to live vibrant lifestyles. They  never let fear stand in their way.  They stayed visible. They were not lonely.

I have a personal opinions on what motivated this group of women over 60. My thought: happiness takes work. Here are four lifestyles after retirement.

A Quiet Lifestyle of Contentment

Many of you have come to terms with your age and lifestyle. You are content. Good for you. I expect you appreciate yourselves. You are the women no longer looking for acceptance and affirmation.

Being part of the so-called “in crowd” isn’t as important as having meaningful relationships. You enjoy the quiet of your day and you are content and confident in your life choices. You possess a quiet power and feel your relevancy and visibility. I am that woman now.

A Career and Busy Lifestyle

The woman who loves her career is fortunate. She blooms. She awakens each morning feeling productive. Productivity means output. Output produces positivity. There is a richness to her lifestyle.

She smiles on the inside and out. The wheels of her mind are constantly turning. She is anything but bored. She is emotionally and physically healthy because she is living a relevant lifestyle. She is a connected woman, a visible woman. I am that woman now.

A Survivor

There are many women living with clouds over them. I feel your pain because I was there. I was widowed in my 40s and had cancer in my 50s. In my 60s my second husband’s son committed suicide. I faced and survived another Cancer scare.

Dear readers, you must try and help yourselves. Seek help through private or professional group therapy on all matters from finance to widowhood, to loneliness to illness. Do consider joining or putting together a focus group of women friends to discuss your issues. This really works. I have a monthly focus group at my home and we talk about our issues. Everyone leaves feeling they will try and make sweet lemonade out of lemons because we give one another intelligent and hopeful answers to situations. Each of us realizes happiness takes work.

A New Purpose

These women are passionate about staying vital and visible and are seeking answers. They are frustrated and feeling hampered by their daily lifestyle. Here is an idea for you. It worked for me and I would love to share.

Over four years ago, I was restless and searching. I was very busy all day doing things I no longer enjoyed. I was frustrated, having no idea what path to pursue.

One day by happenstance, I shared my feelings with another woman. We had just met. I told her I was looking for a new purpose. To this day, I remember her words. She said, “Keep a journal for three months and you will find your voice, your purpose.” I asked her how she knew. She said to me, “I am a writer.” I remember my answer, “I can’t keep a journal. I am not a writer.”

But I did and you know why? Because she told me I would find my voice. Those five words pushed me into the impossible in my 60s and today I am a writer and I own Honeygood.com. You see dear readers, anything is possible.

The first thing you must do is – start! You must understand that happiness takes work!

So, I am passing on that writer’s suggestion – keep a daily journal for three months, never miss a day and reread every entry three months later. I truly believe you, too, will find your voice.

I going to pass on my mantra. “I will not stop pursuing my new purpose because I want to be fulfilled and I know happiness takes work.”

For those of you seeking a new purpose, I am hopeful I might be pushing you into finding your voice. For those of you facing personal hardships, why not start your own focus group? Nothing good will happen unless you realize that happiness takes work. This is true at any age, but it is especially true after retirement.

And for those of you who have found contentment or who are involved in careers, help your sisters in need. I am certain they will be as grateful as I was and am to the writer who pushed me to start.