Making the Holiday Season Joyful During the Pandemic

We all want happiness and joy in our lives, particularly on special occasions that we wait for and anticipate whether they happen once, like a wedding, or repeat themselves yearly as Christmas and Hanukkah do. Enjoying big events that often have memories, both happy and sad, as winter holidays do for just about everyone, can be hard to handle emotionally.

As a positive psychologist, let me share some of the reasons why these holidays can be so hard for so many people. Then I will share suggestions that can help you relax, enjoy, and have more happiness and joyful moments this year-even with a pandemic surrounding us.

Lots of Extra Planning

First, major holidays usually have extra planning, cooking, travel perhaps, and other chores on our lists that can easily lead to frustration, anxiety, and exhaustion.

On top of the above list, there are all the characters in our personal dramas that we each live with. For example, when Aunt Edith walks in on Christmas the tension begins. She drinks a little too much eggnog and then blasts either the kids for being noisy or reminds Sally that she is still carrying that weight from the last baby.

Then there are the memories. There is the chair that Dad always sat in or the jokes that always lightened the meal, told by Uncle Harry who passed last year. And maybe this year there is even a more poignant recent loss, due to the Pandemic. I hope that is not the case at your home, but it will be for some.

Understanding the Brain

Now for a bit of brain understanding. Our brains are fabulous machines, still beyond the full comprehension of even the greatest scientists and doctors. What we do know for sure is that our brains can go into overload, due to emotional upsets. As well as lack of sleep, too many expectations and chores on our minds, worries, and even poor eating habits. When our brains are in overload we do not think as clearly, we have more moods that weaken our ability to make good decisions. We feel all sorts of emotions that are unpleasant, such as frustration, anger, disappointment, rage, despair, and more. The result is that we often come into holidays wrecked emotionally and our bodies crying out for better sleep, the right foods, time to relax, etc.

How can we help our brains, our bodies, and therefore ourselves to prepare for and enjoy more fully the holidays? Here are some suggestions.

Do Not Take On More Than You Can

Do not take on more than you can easily do for the holidays. That may hurt your ego a bit to give up certain traditions and the memories that accompany them, but your mind and body with thank you. Let yourself think clearly and not be overtired and wrecked. For example, should you bother to knit a scarf for each grandchild? Lovely if you did this in advance while sitting on the beach in the summer. But if you didn’t, and now it is two weeks to seeing the kids or mailing the scarves for that Zoom Christmas day together, it may be best to let go of the idea and give gift cards.

Your Needs Come First

Take care of your own needs first. Remember what they tell you on an airplane, put your own oxygen mask on first. That means getting enough sleep, eating properly, and following through on any medical needs. Take care of yourself in whatever ways are necessary for you.

Watch Your Favorite Holiday Film

This is a way to assure ourselves that we have the energy and clear thinking necessary to have real fun and joy. Think about a favorite movie you may love. Maybe it is A Christmas Story. That is one of my favorites. I watch the movie and remember so many things I experienced as a child; The snowsuits made from wool that were agony to get on and off, sitting on Santa’s lap, wanting a certain doll, for me it was a Toni doll, where you could wash and set her hair. The miracle of watching this movie for me is that I do not have to feel any of the pain or disappointments that I really faced me as a kid. The movie helps me enjoy childhood without any pressure on me. That enjoyment is what lifts my spirits.

Lighten Your Load

The bottom line to joy during the holiday season, even during this Pandemic, is giving yourself as many ways as you can to lighten your load. The emotional and chore load you burden your brain and body with interferes with your best mood and energies.

Here are some ideas: favorite movies, music, phone chats with women friends, an upbeat novel, a streaming series you like, comfort foods, a cat purring on your lap, or a dog on YouTube playing the piano. You know best what will work for you.

Treat Yourself

Treat yourself as the most special guest you could be entertaining for the Holidays and the result will be joyful.

By the way, do not stop with the holidays. Why not treat yourself more often as the precious person that you really are?

 

Sometimes friends and colleagues call me, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein: ‘The Enchanted Self.’ That’s because as a psychologist in private practice for over 35 years, I’ve developed a form of positive psychology called The Enchanted Self. I’m not enchanted, but I do have many ways and ideas to help all of us feel better through all stages of life. These methods help us to recognize our potential, regardless of our age, to grab on to our talents and find again and again the emotional energies needed to be creative, resourceful, resilient, and to live joyfully.

In two minutes share with the ‘girl’ from my books, The Truth, Diary of a gutsy Tween and Secrets, Diary of a Gutsy Teen, and my films, the ‘girl’ who has no name, as she is all of us. Share with her as she goes from despair to elation as we most, not only in today’s pandemic but as we travel through life. Enjoy seeing the joy she finds loving and connecting once more and bring it home to your and your grand-kids. Watch the film at: https://vimeo.com/402998418 and feel free to pass it along!

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