Women over 50 have earned a PhD in life. We are the wisest generation because of our experiences. What defines us is not the degree but how we put our degree to work. Are you asking yourself if you are living your best life possible?

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The Invisibility Challenge: Facing Ageism and Estranged Parents After 50

It is not easy to be an older woman anywhere in this world, except possibly Japan, as we begin to feel and look our age because societies are geared toward the youth.

As one of my close friends told me, “I started to feel invisible at 60. I felt so invisible when I noticed no one looked at me any longer when I walked down Madison Avenue in Manhattan. I finally went to my husband with a proposal that we move to a community that had all ages but the older aged population ranked number one in population.”

After much coaxing, he went along with my ‘desires’ and we moved to Rancho Mirage, California. It worked for both of us! I created a new business, learned the popular card games, and was invited into all the group circles I chose in the community.

My close friend had aspirations; the hope or ambition of achieving something. So should all of you over the age of 50+

Reinventing Visibility: Finding Your Spotlight in Later Life

My narrative is the story of my wise girlfriend who had chutzpah, the extreme self-confidence to sell her home and relocate to find her pot of gold – visibility in her 60’s. Her advice to me, as her younger friend, “Susan, reinvent yourself every ten years.” Sweet reader, I am about to do just that because it is ten years!

Most women over a certain age no longer feel visible. It matters not that they are well-educated, traveled, healthy, and well-heeled. When a woman loses her youthful face and body, she knows that facelifts, her favorite face cream, injections, workouts, vitamins, healthy foods, good health, and joy will not stop father time.

Only a wise woman, who uses her PhD in life, has the emotional wherewithal to buckle up, like my friend, and live her best life possible.

Overcoming Challenges: Finding Strength in Adversity

I am, like many of you, an older woman, who is dealing with aging and I am coupled with other severe problems.

The love of my life is suffering from a form of dementia, and I am also dealing with an estranged daughter and other estranged adult children. Sometimes, a difficult daughter-in-law can contribute to the alienation of an adult child from their parents.

Observing others with a good relationship with their children can intensify feelings of shame and isolation among estranged parents.

It would be easy to allow myself to fall into my own trap, ultimately taking me down the road of depression and invisibility. And, I have my days that are fueled 24/7 by grief and unbearable sadness. There are days I want to cave because of my heavy burdens. I often feel like I carry all the blame for the estrangement, even though I know it’s not entirely my fault, especially when dealing with verbally abusive behavior. It’s easy to feel like a bad parent, but I remind myself that mistakes don’t define my worth. I don’t. What do I do?

I cry a lot. I confess my honest feelings to friends, and I get up every day, shower, spritz myself with my favorite perfume, put on my red lipstick, walk America, sigh, and say to myself, “hello world here I come.” In other words, I give myself physical and emotional pep prompts. Some days they work. Some days are not easy. But, every day, I try, try, try.

Healing and Moving Forward After Estrangement

Estrangement is a deeply painful experience, both for the adult children who choose to distance themselves and for the parents left behind. Healing from this emotional rift requires a willingness to acknowledge and accept the situation, rather than clinging to the hope of a reunion that may never come.

For an adult child’s decision to estrange themselves often comes with a heavy burden of guilt, shame, and anxiety. These feelings can significantly impact their well-being and their relationships with others. It’s crucial for them to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals to navigate these complex emotions.

On the other hand, estranged parents often grapple with intense emotional pain, including feelings of rejection, sadness, and anger. The loss of a relationship with an adult child can be devastating, leaving a void that seems impossible to fill. While some parents may be estranged from one child, other children in the family may experience different dynamics, making these situations deeply personal and unique. For these parents, prioritizing their own emotional well-being is essential. This might involve leaning on supportive family members, engaging in self-care practices, or seeking professional help to process their grief.

In some cases, estrangement can be a necessary step towards healing and growth. It allows individuals to establish boundaries and prioritize their own needs, which can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling life. However, this process is rarely straightforward and can be fraught with emotional turmoil, especially for rejected parents who struggle to come to terms with the loss.

Ultimately, healing and moving forward after estrangement requires a willingness to let go of the past. It involves focusing on building a positive and fulfilling life, regardless of the estrangement’s outcome. By embracing self-care, seeking support, and allowing themselves to grow, both parents and adult children can find a path to emotional well-being and resilience.

Your Strength Is Your Inner Beauty Amid Verbal Abuse

And, I want everyone over the age of 50 who faces the feelings of invisibility and other problems to practice self-care or as I prefer to say, self-love. I want you to walk out your door and say to yourself, “My inner beauty is the creator of my outward beauty.”

How? Take risks.

After the age of 50 it is your time to take risks. Use your inner beauty – your mind – to take you to new heights. You have had 50 plus years to prepare yourself. Unfortunately, too many of you begin to play it safe and fall into a rut. Boredom sets in. Same outfits, hairstyle, friends, restaurants, yada yada yada.

Finding the Artist In You

Instead, I ask you to consider becoming an artist!

Imagine you have a clean palette. Create a new palette of big and little choices. Is there something you have wanted to do? When you experience the new, you become receptive to aspiration. Listen to your instincts. Take that leap into the dark by trusting your choices remembering your life is still a work in progress; a work of art that is always evolving. If it can work for me with my problems it can work for you too. Art is never stagnant and neither is your life!

Our minds are our inner light. It feeds our souls. It talks to us. Use it to its full potential with your paintbrush and create your new and interesting role as a woman over 50 plus.

As you begin to look inside yourselves for answers you will begin to show your beautiful over 50 bloom.

Finding Purpose Through Giving Back to Extended Family

About a year ago I was prompted to open an email because of one word in the title. I had never heard of the organization but out of curiosity I opened, read, and listened to the President Mort Klein. I was mesmerized.

This was a serendipitous experience because normally I would have continued scrolling and passed this email. I read and listened to its content and then I did what I would like you to do—I acted.

I called the organization—cold turkey. Again, I could have been stopped because I had several different prompts with no idea the correct one but nevertheless I decided to push #5 and a voice came on! The correct voice! I am now sitting on ZOA’s National Board. It took almost a year of painting my palette. And, my piece of art is still in its infancy.

My success in this endeavor was accomplished by my inner thoughts – my inner beauty – that consists of drive, desires, curiosity, self-growth, instincts, and the necessary follow through. I know I am a happier person when I give back.

Radiating Confidence and Charm

The point is that anything you want to accomplish after the age of 50 is doable and if you strive and have drive you can create new blooms; greater self-esteem, sparkling eyes, new rewards, self-growth, and a big smile. When you work your mind, your inner charm, fresh blooms will radiate all around and give you an outer glow and visibility.

Let me be very clear. I am never going to be a flower that dies on the vine of life but, like you, I do have my wilting times. And, I really wilt. But, that inner voice inside me does not let me sabotage my courage to keep on truckin’ when I am feeling very blue. It is true grit. And, every woman over 50 has it.

Remember it is never too late to feel visible and add your paintbrush of color to your personal work of art.

Recognizing the Power of Mature Beauty for Well Being

I will leave you with this brief message about my own mother. Mother’s Day often brings up complex emotions, especially when reflecting on the relationship with one’s own mother. Here is her formula for visibility after 50.

My mom was a visible woman until her death at 102 years of age. She glimmered with curiosity and her lack of fear to live outside the box. Her internal beauty was her magic. She passed away as the most beautiful and visible woman, for her time, that I have ever met. She was a glorious woman. Copy her and you, too, will be one helluva woman. Amen. Amen.

Are you engaging in your passions? Do you feel visible? Please share with me in the comment, darling. I want to hear from you!

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Reopen Your Mind to All Possibilities That Bring You Joy

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