Women over 50 have earned a PhD in life. We are the wisest generation because of our experiences. What defines us is not the degree but how we put our degree to work. Are you asking yourself if you are living your best life possible?
*Affiliate disclosure.
The Invisibility Challenge: Facing Ageism After 50
It is not easy to be an older woman anywhere in this world, except possibly Japan, as we begin to feel and look our age because societies are geared toward the youth.
As one of my close friends told me, “I started to feel invisible at 60. I felt so invisible when I noticed no one looked at me any longer when I walked down Madison Avenue in Manhattan. I finally went to my husband with a proposal that we move to a community that had all ages but the older aged population ranked number one in population.”
After much coaxing, he went along with my ‘desires’ and we moved to Rancho Mirage, California. It worked for both of us! I created a new business, learned the popular card games, and was invited into all the group circles I chose in the community.
My close friend had aspirations; the hope or ambition of achieving something. So should all of you over the age of 50+.
Reinventing Visibility: Finding Your Spotlight in Later Life
My narrative is the story of my wise girlfriend who had chutzpah, the extreme self-confidence to sell her home and relocate to find her pot of gold – visibility in her 60’s. Her advice to me, as her younger friend, “Susan, reinvent yourself every ten years.” Sweet reader, I am about to do just that because it is ten years!
Most women over a certain age no longer feel visible. It matters not that they are well-educated, traveled, healthy, and well-heeled. When a woman loses her youthful face and body, she knows that facelifts, her favorite face cream, injections, workouts, vitamins, healthy foods, good health, and joy will not stop father time.
Only a wise woman, who uses her PhD in life, has the emotional wherewithal to buckle up, like my friend, and live her best life possible.
Overcoming Challenges: Finding Strength in Adversity
I am, like many of you, an older woman, who is dealing with aging and I am coupled with other severe problems.
The love of my life is suffering from a form of dementia and I am also dealing with estrangement from my daughters and grandchildren.
It would be easy to allow myself to fall into my own trap, ultimately taking me down the road of depression and invisibility. And, I have my days that are fueled 24/7 by grief and unbearable sadness. There are days I want to cave because of my heavy burdens. I don’t. What do I do?
I cry a lot. I confess my honest feelings to friends, and I get up every day, shower, spritz myself with my favorite perfume, put on my red lipstick, walk America, sigh, and say to myself, “hello world here I come.” In other words, I give myself physical and emotional pep prompts. Some days they work. Some days are not easy. But, every day, I try, try, try.
Your Strength Is Your Inner Beauty
And, I want everyone over the age of 50 who faces the feelings of invisibility and other problems to practice self-care or as I prefer to say, self-love. I want you to walk out your door and say to yourself, “My inner beauty is the creator of my outward beauty.”
How? Take risks.
After the age of 50 it is your time to take risks. Use your inner beauty – your mind – to take you to new heights. You have had 50 plus years to prepare yourself. Unfortunately, too many of you begin to play it safe and fall into a rut. Boredom sets in. Same outfits, hairstyle, friends, restaurants, yada yada yada.
The 7 Keys to Wellness Over 50: Unlock Joy, Strength, and Purpose
Finding the Artist In You
Instead, I ask you to consider becoming an artist!
Imagine you have a clean palette. Create a new palette of big and little choices. Is there something you have wanted to do? When you experience the new, you become receptive to aspiration. Listen to your instincts. Take that leap into the dark by trusting your choices remembering your life is still a work in progress; a work of art that is always evolving. If it can work for me with my problems it can work for you too. Art is never stagnant and neither is your life!
Our minds are our inner light. It feeds our souls. It talks to us. Use it to its full potential with your paintbrush and create your new and interesting role as a woman over 50 plus.
As you begin to look inside yourselves for answers you will begin to show your beautiful over 50 bloom.
Finding Purpose Through Giving Back
About a year ago I was prompted to open an email because of one word in the title. I had never heard of the organization but out of curiosity I opened, read, and listened to the President Mort Klein. I was mesmerized.
This was a serendipitous experience because normally I would have continued scrolling and passed this email. I read and listened to its content and then I did what I would like you to do—I acted.
I called the organization—cold turkey. Again, I could have been stopped because I had several different prompts with no idea the correct one but nevertheless I decided to push #5 and a voice came on! The correct voice! I am now sitting on ZOA’s National Board. It took almost a year of painting my palette. And, my piece of art is still in its infancy.
My success in this endeavor was accomplished by my inner thoughts – my inner beauty – that consists of drive, desires, curiosity, self-growth, instincts, and the necessary follow through. I know I am a happier person when I give back.
Radiating Confidence and Charm
The point is that anything you want to accomplish after the age of 50 is doable and if you strive and have drive you can create new blooms; greater self-esteem, sparkling eyes, new rewards, self-growth, and a big smile. When you work your mind, your inner charm, fresh blooms will radiate all around and give you an outer glow and visibility.
Let me be very clear. I am never going to be a flower that dies on the vine of life but, like you, I do have my wilting times. And, I really wilt. But, that inner voice inside me does not let me sabotage my courage to keep on truckin’ when I am feeling very blue. It is true grit. And, every woman over 50 has it.
Remember it is never too late to feel visible and add your paintbrush of color to your personal work of art.
Recognizing the Power of Mature Beauty
I will leave you with this brief message about my mother. Here is her formula for visibility after 50.
My mom was a visible woman until her death at 102 years of age. She glimmered with curiosity and her lack of fear to live outside the box. Her internal beauty was her magic. She passed away as the most beautiful and visible woman, for her time, that I have ever met. She was a glorious woman. Copy her and you, too, will be one helluva woman. Amen. Amen.
Are you engaging in your passions? Do you feel visible? Please share with me in the comment, darling. I want to hear from you!
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Dear Honey,
I did not realize that your hubby has some dementia.
So do I apparently …….. at least, some neurological condition…..Have been tested & it is not classical Alzheimer’s, thank God. So, I know your path is not easy!!
Hang in there! Am 75, a kidney dialysis patient with serious mental illness (Bipolar #1) since age 28……Am single. Recently sold my house & moved to a continuing care community. Would not have been able to do the move without help from Girlfriends!! We are mjracles! Thanx for your inspirational writing!
Still feeling young at heart.
Thank you Sandrala, I am glad you have girlfriends to help! Thank you for your kind words to me. Warmly, Honey
I feel valued when I help someone, with a kind word, a compliment or just buying
someone a cup of coffee.A friendly hello and a smile makes me feel warmth within.
I am playing pickleball at a new venue today with 23 new faces. I have played PB
for seven years. Go to Playtime Scheduler.com. It is international. The fastest growing sport in America. And I am seventy! Kathleen
I do to. I enjoy helping others. Thanks for the info on Pickleball. Warmly, Honey
Right on Honey! I’m well past 50 & have never been busier, more challenged, more active than I am now. My passion is the environment, protecting it & finding ways to turn waste of all kinds into commercial products. My small island, through my previous engagement, has been selected for a huge multi island project to upcycle plastic waste. I also maintain a vigorous corresp.ondence with friends the world over, produce a newsletter, garden. Is it all roses & sunshine? by no means, I too am caring for a husband with dementia, have a slew of aliments to accompany my age. None of it slows me down, though, I have what my friend calls “pity parties” where I feel overwhelmed. But it passes & I am back on track. As for loving myself, if someone went to the trouble of discovering treatments of all kinds to make me look my best, I do take advantage of it.
I loved your thoughts. I smiled from start to finish. Sending friendship- Honey