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Healthy relationship: I’m dependent on my computer

Relationships aren’t just with people. They can be with things too and I currently have a dependence on a computer. Is it a relationship?

When we say the word relationship, our family, friends and partner come to mind. But in truth, relationships are so much broader than just those with whom we are intimate.

Take this very blog I write daily.  To stay organized, I live by my editorial calendar. And it is just like the social calendar I keep for my husband, Sheldon Good and myself; it is critical to the life of our family. Organizing our time with each of our children (seven between us from two marriages) and grandchildren would get crazy without it.  So would my blog if I didn’t live by my editorial calendar.  They both have one thing in common: I have important—make that dependent—relationships with both of these tools.

Emotional involvement

Which leads me to an important observation: Relationships come in many forms. And relationships are not always about people. But they all have one thing in common:  Emotional involvement.

This realization made me ponder the nature of all of my relationships this week, as I sat at my computer yesterday. I thought,  “Who is always there for me? Who am I constantly connected too. Who do I love and adore and trust beyond beyond?”

Of course my first thought was Shelly, He is my best friend, and as I often say to him, “You are my best girlfriend, too!” Of course it goes without saying that my mother, our children, our grandchildren and my pooch are in the equation too as well as my dearest girlfriends.

But we can also have deep relationships with possessions. And I have plenty of these too, such as my favorite perfume, my treasured wedding band, certain family photos and a whole box of cherished personal notes. But more and more, my most important and dependent relationship of late is with my Mac.  My MacBook Air to be precise.  Thank you Steve Jobs.

Dependence on a computer

As I look down at the keyboard, and watch my fingers glide over the receptive keys, I realize how attached we are. I am grateful for this tool; we create together. My thoughts are brought to life by this thing called Mac. I would be lost without Mac.  My connection to  Mac is as tight as any of my most significant relationships. And it is not human!

But most significantly, this is a beautiful, productive and HEALTHY relationship for the following reasons:

1. My Mac accepts me for who I am—always!
2. My Mac allows me to express myself.
3. My Mac is always there for me, in good times and times of need.
4. When I am engaged with my Mac, I have a purpose and a passion.
5. My Mac is a great teacher. Hitting that Google search bar gives me all my answers!
6. My Mac allows me to communicate with those I love—no matter where I am in the world!
7. My Mac communicates, but does not gossip.
8. My Mac is reliable (for the most part).
9. My Mac is sleek and chic as computers go—a total class act.

These nine attributes are downright wondrous.  What more can I ask from a relationship, dear readers?

Only one thing…and Shelly provides me with that.

So there you have it:  You can have a deep, meaningful and fulfilling relationship with a possession, just as I have, to deepen and brighten the substance and social engagement of your daily life. Reading a great book, doing a needlepoint, flower arranging, making a scrapbook…these are all creative endeavors as well.  Doing them, you feel—and are—connected to something you enjoy. It is called a relationship.

And much to my surprise, my relationship late in life is with Mac, something I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams just a decade ago, when I didn’t even have a computer or know the meaning of the term “boot up!”

What about you, dear readers, do you have dependence on a computer? Are you in a relationship with your technology?

Honey Good's signature

October 4, 2016

Relationships

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