For the past year and one month, I have been searching for peace among the chaos.

I can honestly say that almost, not every, but almost every day I woke up, before the pandemic, I whistled a happy tune. Sure I had ‘my stuff’’ and plenty of it, but I never let anything or anyone rob me of my joie de vivre. Why? Because it all would eventually pass and any situation would find a solution. That was before March 2020 and this is now, a year and one month later. Now I wake up every morning with a daunting feeling of loss; the loss to control my life. I don’t feel at this time I will ever be the same. But I will not give up trying. I will stay tuned in to everything and consider my choices.

Today I am threatened by misguided and powerful people who want to change the American way of life. My faith that goodwill wins over evil, honesty over lies, caring over neglect, justice over tyranny, law and order over disobedience, respect over disrespect has robbed me of a normal life. There is no peace in Elsewhere…life feels chaotic.

My Fears

Last night before I said goodnight to my Ultimate Concierge, I blurted out, “This has been the unhappiest year and one month of my life. Living in Elsewhere has torn your optimistic, extroverted and ‘see the glass half full’ wife in half. I hope Elsewhere will not change me forever. He replied, “Don’t you worry, I will make sure the best is yet to come.” I smiled at his loving words, thanked him. Then, drifted off to sleep snuggled close to my two best friends (husband and pup).

I feel the only way to survive when you feel despair is to center your thoughts on paper and hold yourself accountable. You should examine the reasons for your despair and then carefully weigh your options before taking action. You will walk down more than one path before regaining a fresh outlook so don’t give up on yourself. Activate your brain to think positively and then make a plan you can achieve for your future.

Regaining My Joie de Vivre Among the Chaos

Over the last year and one month, I have tried to regain my joie de vivre. To be honest, nothing has given me peace. I accomplished much in our home and in our kitchen. And, I cook almost nightly. The experience became better and better as I went along.

I struggled and became a pro at working two TV clickers at one time. I can go from Infinity to Netflix to Apple TV as well as doing the easy stuff that one time was the hard stuff. This took time and patience and I am proud of myself.

I learned to pay our bills online when I was put to the test and became an Amazon shopping pro. For the first time, I grew an amaryllis bulb into a gorgeous flowering plant that I am nurturing with the hope that she will bloom again in the late fall, early winter.

I am at the end of the process of surprising you with a fresh Honey Good website. And, I started a private Facebook group, GRANDwomen with moxie that is trending to 2,000 women members.

My Ultimate Concierge and I spent hours together reading, watching series and documentaries, cooking dinners, and walking America. We had dinners out at least once a week with friends or alone, otherwise I cooked. We spent many evenings having dinner with my mother in our condo. We often said we felt we were living in a world where life stopped and chaos reigned and thanked God we were on the same page politically. We adjusted beautifully to life within our four walls of our condo in the sky.

Learning Lessons

During this past year, I had a few disappointments from people. Their actions resembled actions I witness on the news and it hit me that mankind can be more deceptive and unkind than I realized. The individuals did not put me in a funk; their actions did, and so did the fact that I must be leery of people’s intentions. After thinking long and hard I am thrilled to say, it is wise to be wisened to others’ actions. The lesson was painful, the end result, fruitful.

I filled our home with orchids and plants, played music most days, and Zoomed on a planned basis with 13 of my cousins. I learned my grandfather on my father’s side saved 126 Jews during the Holocaust and saw the photo of the group. I wish he had told me because I would have given him the biggest hug.

Truthfully, I am only touching the surface of what took place in my life over the past 13 months. With all that went on, I still have not found peace among the chaos. The uncertainty of the times and our unnatural way of life forbids it.

May Is Here

But let us not forget that the month of May began on Saturday and it is sacred. Nature abounds in all its glory and brings an abundance of free happiness to all mankind. I am hopeful the month of May will bring me some peace. I am going to visit city gardens and send my mother and my daughter beautiful flowers on Mother’s Day, and plant a dwarf olive tree in our condo, and send hummingbird feeders to some of my Grands, and walk my pooch on the lakefront, and appreciate all that nature gives me. If anything can bring me some peace, it’s nature. Darling, I am smiling and feeling peaceful.

How do you find peace among the chaos? Let me know in the comments at the bottom of this page, I would love to hear.

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