“A friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find but lucky to have.” Irish Proverb

I wish people’s actions were constant, like the sun. As many of you know, I write very early in the morning as the sun rises in the East. Over the months, as I sit at my computer writing to you from the 71st floor of my condo-in-the-sky, she passes like clockwork across our full set of windows. I know where her location will be each month of the year. She is trustworthy, constant and loyal. And, generous with her light, her vitality. She is strong, and She never disappoints. I wish all people that I knew had a conscience like the Sun’s.

Choose a constant like the sun to guide you.

Over the past few years, we have all found ourselves aghast at man’s behavior. We see, we hear, we read, and like never before, and in a healthy manner, we become leery of what really lurks in the minds of people. Unfortunately, over the past three years, we have been programmed to reevaluate man’s humanity to his fellow man.

I am personally bewildered and fearful over this because the lack of a sound moral compass has become so widespread. And, in a sense, I have lost the wonderful feeling of my belief in people, even those close to me. And, I believe this uncomfortable feeling has surfaced in many of you as well. Why can’t all people be like the Sun?

My fervent philosophy about people, now more than ever, is to find genuine people to trust and keep in my life. Because everything in my life and yours is directly affected by those around us. We cannot prevent what is taking place in the minds of men and women outside our sphere, but we have the control to choose those in our sphere.

My Ah-Ha Moment

I do believe that our conscience represents our moral code of ethics. The inherent ability of every healthy human being to perceive what is right and what is wrong. And on the strength of this perception, control their actions. Therefore, it puzzles me when I watch the negative actions of others. I ask myself, “Why didn’t their conscience stop them from this negative action?”

I was bothered enough to ‘climb the stairs and not ride the elevator.’ So, being a curious woman over 50, I began reading articles on the conscience. And this is when I had one of my ‘ah-ha moment.’ I had left out an important part out of the equation. People’s consciences vary! What you think is right, I may think is wrong! And we both think we are right!   

Besides the sun, my Ultimate Concierge is a constant of mine.

We Control Who is In Our Sphere

When I learned this, I began to think about the various people in my life. I reached the conclusion that I should continue learning skills to read a person’s behavior in order to measure their character. This is to see if their conscious behavior and attitudes are a good match with mine. After all, I cannot only have the Sun in my sphere of company. I believe using your intuitive skills will help you find genuine women and men to trust and keep by your side.

I know everything in our life is directly affected by the company we keep. You hold the power to choose wisely when you listen to your heart. 

My Ultimate Concierge taught me that the system of making lists works. After being widowed and single for six years, he met me and, on our first date, asked me to marry him because I matched every quality on his list! He waited six years! We have been married for 32 years, and he is my best girlfriend!!!

I think these are two good starter lists to follow.

A List to Analyze Your Needs

Be honest with yourself.

• Follow your heart. Let your heart lead.
• Ponder. Be patient with your decisions.
• Set goals. Paint with a large brush. Don’t narrow your vision. Consider multigenerational friendships.
• Stop underestimating yourself.
• Ask yourself, “What if.” There’s a big world of people to choose from.
• Go back to your roots. Rediscover what really matters to you. Trace your family tree.
• Reward yourself. Don’t take it too far and become selfish.
• Visualize yourself in a happy setting with the right people.
• Break bad cycles. Don’t feel trapped in your  relationships
• Say no. Others will respect you.
• Prioritize. Accept what is best for you.

A List of Qualities to Look For in Other People

• Ignore the pessimists. They thrive on negativity and failure.
• Seek out the optimist. They thrive on joy and hope and know how to rebound.
• Look for inner beauty in people.
• Seek out people with authenticity
• Kindness is King
• Wisdom is a  benefit
• Look for a compromising soul.
• A good listener is interested.
• Notice how people treat others when they are in control. How do they talk to waiters or socially awkward people? They will either show kindness and generosity or indecency.
• Notice how the people in your sphere talk about others.
• Notice how people in your sphere handle a disagreement.

After doing my due diligence, I go back to the Sun. She is my dream friend. So, darlings, take my advice and look for a constant like the sun. Along with the feelings of your heart — she will guide you. 

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What constant do you have in your life? Please share with me in the comments.