Every child and every adult woman wants to have friends and be part of a group. With guiding principles, I think you as their grandmother can play a role in educating them on the important principles of friendship and how to choose a group of friends. Family plays a crucial role in teaching values about friendship, providing a foundation for social connections. A mother or daughter can also help children or grandchildren form friendships by sharing their own experiences and facilitating introductions in social settings. Girls, in particular, often form close bonds through shared activities or groups, and these early connections can be especially meaningful as they grow. This will help them make wise decisions and avoid fickle, fake, and poor role models. Teaching grandchildren through storytelling is a great way to impart a message. I choose to tell my grandchildren a true story about, The Olive Tree.

I use her as a guide because I learned The Olive Tree is giving, sharing, and caring. She embodies the good character our grandchildren and women over 50 should examine before choosing a new friend or group of friends. Childhood experiences, such as early friendships or family stories, often shape how we approach and choose friends later in life.

Here is my story…

The Olive Tree Story

Dear Grandchildren,

When I moved to California, I was aghast at the unattractiveness of the hundreds of olive trees lining the streets of Rancho Mirage. Adjusting to life in a new city brought its own challenges, especially when it came to making friends and building new connections. It was difficult for me to lay my eyes upon them. I wanted nothing to do with these trees and wished they would go away. They were ugly and scary looking, and their trunks looked as though they were a million years old.

One day out of curiosity I googled ‘Olive Tree’. I wanted to learn about it before passing final judgment, something you should do when you choose a new friend or a group of friends. Old friendships can be comforting and familiar, but there is excitement and uncertainty in forming new ones, which can bring fresh stories and opportunities into your life. Why? Because each can have a powerful influence on your attitude, reputation, and the direction you take in your life.

I’m so glad I did my research because I was in for a wonderful and pleasant surprise. (See what happens when you are curious!) What happened next was unexpected—my feelings about the olive tree began to change, much like how new friendships or opportunities can happen when you least expect them. Forming new friendships doesn’t just happen by chance; it often requires a deliberate plan and effort.

The Olive Tree is mentioned several times in The Bible. It was the first tree that sprouted up 7,000 years ago in the warm regions of the Middle East and its life span is over 2,000 years. Because of research, curiosity, and an open mind, my viewpoint was changing. I now saw the tree as ‘God-like,’ even going so far as calling her, ‘The Tree of God.’ I was having a 100% change of heart. I continued reading and learned more: Just as with friendships, you can’t expect meaningful relationships to just happen—you need a plan and must put in the effort to nurture them.

The Olive Tree was a ‘best friend’ to all the people in the Middle East because she was caring and giving. She became revered for bearing olives for nourishment and sharing the oils in her olives to light the sacred lamps. Her oils were used for cooking, ointments, and even skin products. She was considerate, shading her people during warm weather with her outlay of branched leaves. She was generous; her trunk used for wood making and building homes. She provided income for families from the sale of her olives and wood. Her olive branch is still the symbol of peace. The Olive Tree has a 7,000-year history of ‘sharing herself’ with the world!

As you move through life, it’s important to manage what you expect from new friendships, and to appreciate both old friendships and new ones for the unique value they bring.

And this, dear Grandchildren, is your grandmother’s message…

Before hitching your star to any person or group compare them to The Olive Tree. I realized long ago that true friendships are built on inner beauty. Her attributes speak of her inner beauty. She is sharing, considerate, helpful, kind, and nourishing. And, it is those inner traits you look for, dear Grandchild of mine, in a friend or in a group of friends. Amen—because the truth is, these qualities are what truly make a good friend.

Women Over 50 and Friendship

As time passes and our children leave our nest, we enter a new passage in life. While this can mean fewer daily interactions related to carpooling, PTA meetings, or after-school activities, it’s important to remember that kids and their activities can also help expand our social circles and introduce us to new friends. Often times our friends change because our lives change. There is no more carpooling, PTA meetings, after-school activities, or moments on the phone to discuss teachers or an upcoming event. Some of us are newly divorced or widowed. Many of us move away from our old neighborhood and start a new life, and while some of us stay put in our neighborhood, we purchase a second home.

With these changes come new acquaintances. Sometimes, a new job or career change can also impact our opportunities to make friends and expand our social network. This can be a marvelous experience because you personally get to choose your friends and groups. Of course, you are far more intuitive and knowledgeable than you were in your 20’s and 30’s, but that is not to say mistakes will be made along the way. It’s helpful to make plans to meet up with new people and focus on spending time together each week, as this helps build strong relationships and lasting connections. However, older people often face unique challenges in making new friends, especially after retirement or major life transitions. Social circles can shrink naturally, and reaching out can feel more difficult, but older people also have the advantage of increased free time to nurture new connections.

What I have been reading is most older women are great but some act like teenagers or worse! These women can be marvelous, bright, sharped tongued, bullies, jealous, and just plain mean. And, I have learned from my readings that older women with far less to do revert to the catty and spiteful comments they made in high school. I also heard from a friend that making friends after 50 often means joining new groups or activities, and that being open to new experiences can make a big difference. Money can sometimes play a role in forming friendships, as shared financial situations or the cost of activities may influence who we connect with and which groups we join.

I have run into only a very few of the mean ones and I am sure you have as well. They puzzle and baffle me and I feel sorry for them. Just recently, I eliminated one from my life. She pushed me too far. She can be most unkind and uses different types of bullying tactics. Her reason is to hurt me but she can’t. I am not worried about her missing me. She will find one or more women to take my place.

So you see darling, meanness comes at every age, and at this stage of life, none of us need it. This is our time to smell the roses and bloom. What better way than to have interesting and lovely women in our lives. Having several friends with shared interests can truly enrich your life and make each week more enjoyable. Maintaining strong friendships in old age is especially important, as these relationships can help buffer the physical and emotional challenges that often come with aging.

I believe in visualization. Therefore, when you are choosing new friends, acquaintances, and a new group, I pass this message on to you…

Think of The Olive Tree, so unattractive because of her gnarled and twisted trunk. Yet, after taking the time to evaluate her, I wound up loving her because of her majestic and valuable inner beauty. She gave back. That, darling, is how you choose a new friend, acquaintance or group, after 50. When evaluating new friends, remember the importance of showing genuine interest in others and being interested in their stories and experiences. Sometimes, you may find yourself waiting for the right friendship to develop, and being patient is part of the process. Making friends after 50 is a deliberate process, and building a meaningful relationship takes time and effort.

The Benefits of Expanding Your Social Circle

Expanding your social circle as a woman over 50 is one of the most rewarding gifts you can give yourself. Making new friends and nurturing adult friendships isn’t just about filling your calendar—it’s about enriching your life, supporting your physical health, and boosting your mental health. Research from the National Council on Aging shows that strong social connections can lower the risk of depression, anxiety, and even high blood pressure, while also improving memory and overall life satisfaction. In real life, having several friends to laugh with, talk to, and share stories with can make all the difference, especially as we navigate the joys and challenges of aging, caring for aging parents, or adjusting to an empty nest.

Good friends are there for us during life’s big moments—weddings, baby showers, illness, or loss—and during the everyday moments, too. A friendship expert once said, “You don’t need a single best friend to be happy; having several friends who fulfill different needs is just as meaningful.” Whether you’re spending time with old friends or making new ones, each relationship adds a unique layer of support and understanding to your life.

If you’re wondering how to meet people and make friends as an adult, remember that opportunities are everywhere. Joining a book club is a wonderful way to connect with other women who share your interests—many lifelong friendships have started over a shared love of reading and lively discussions. Volunteering for a cause you care about, attending events at your local church, or simply striking up a conversation with someone at your favorite coffee shop can open the door to new friendships. Many women have found that joining groups or clubs based on shared interests, like walking, writing, or even gardening, is a great way to meet like-minded people and expand their social circle.

Of course, making friends as an adult takes a bit of courage and intentional effort. It’s perfectly normal to feel a bit hesitant or to wonder if it’s too late to make new friends—but the truth is, it’s never too late. Take the initiative to invite someone to lunch, join a new group, or volunteer in your community. If a new friendship doesn’t blossom right away, don’t be discouraged—just keep trying, and remember that every connection is a step toward a richer, more fulfilling life.

By prioritizing your social connections and making an effort to meet new people, you’re not only combating loneliness and isolation, but also investing in your own happiness and well-being. Whether you’re interested in joining a book club, volunteering, or simply spending time with neighbors or other women in your city, the benefits of expanding your social circle are truly endless. So go ahead—take that first step, and watch as new friendships and opportunities begin to bloom, no matter your age or stage of life.

Navigating Social Interactions as We Grow

As we journey through life, our social circles naturally shift and evolve. Making friends as an adult—especially after 50—can feel daunting, particularly when we’re balancing the needs of aging parents, work commitments, and the ever-changing rhythms of daily life. Yet, friendship experts remind us that nurturing adult friendships is one of the most rewarding investments we can make for our physical and mental health. A strong social circle can lift our spirits, reduce stress, and even add years to our lives.

In real life, making new friends often requires a bit of courage and a willingness to step outside our comfort zones. Sometimes, it’s as simple as striking up a conversation with another woman at a coffee shop, or joining a book club where you can discuss your favorite stories and meet people who share your interests. Volunteering for a cause close to your heart, attending events at your local church, or participating in community groups are all wonderful ways to connect with new people and expand your social circle.

When meeting new friends, it’s important to be open-minded and patient. Building meaningful relationships takes time and effort, and it’s perfectly normal to feel a bit uncertain at first. Try to focus on shared interests—whether it’s walking, writing, or discussing the latest book club pick—rather than diving into sensitive topics like sex, religion, or politics right away. This gentle approach helps lay the foundation for trust and understanding, allowing friendships to blossom naturally.

Friendship experts often emphasize the unique bond that forms between women. Other women can offer a deep well of empathy, understanding, and shared experience, especially as we navigate the joys and challenges of aging. Whether you’re joining a new group, reconnecting with old friends, or simply making time for a weekly lunch, these relationships enrich our lives in countless ways.

Remember, making friends in adulthood is not about quantity, but quality. It’s about finding those good friends who make you laugh, listen to your stories, and walk beside you through life’s ups and downs. If you’re feeling lonely or wondering how to meet new people, know that it’s never too late to start. With a little intention and effort, new friendships can bloom at any age, bringing joy, support, and a sense of belonging to your life.

So, as you continue to grow and navigate the world of adult friendships, be gentle with yourself and others. Join that book club, volunteer for a cause, or simply say hello to a neighbor. The secret to lasting friendships is showing up, being genuine, and allowing relationships to unfold in their own time. After all, the story of the olive tree reminds us that true beauty—and true friendship—comes from within, and that with patience and care, our social circles can flourish at any stage of life.

My Olive Tree Has a New Home

We no longer own our home, Shangri-La, in Rancho Mirage. One day, years before, I decided to plant an olive tree outside the doors of my office. I decided on a Dwarf Olive. Every day I admired her for more reasons than I can share. She grew and came to be majestically beautiful with her sturdy trunk and several branches and she earned her place in my heart for all eternity. To my amazement, she became so beautiful because of her inner beauty! Just like my close friends who have earned a place in my heart for all eternity.

When we sold our home in Rancho Mirage, all I could think about on an emotional level was my tree and her future care. I did not want to wonder and worry about possible neglect…So, I had her uprooted and gave her to my housekeeper, Rosa, one of my dearest friends. She is safe. Rosa will enjoy and nurture her. She will thrive and each will make the other happy. And, though I miss my Olive, she will have a lasting place in my heart. She taught me a lesson on giving, and I hopefully taught my Grands, and hopefully sent you a message, too. During times of transition, neighbors can become important friends, offering support and helping us feel connected in a new place.

It is late at night. I just turned off the lights and I feel the silkiness of my beautiful white linens with green trim wrapped around me. I feel the weight of the flowered duvet keeping me warm, and my pooch and Ultimate Concierge next to me and…my Olive, close to my heart. I am at peace. Having a dog not only provides companionship but also creates opportunities to meet new people and build friendships.

Sometimes, changes like moving can bring unexpected feelings of loneliness, making it even more important to maintain connections for our physical health and emotional well-being. People across the country find comfort in building new friendships and community connections, reminding us that we are not alone no matter where we are.

Do you have any stories you share with your grandchildren to teach them life lessons? Please share them in the comments at the bottom of this page. I would love to hear from you. 

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