As I reflect on my journey as a grandmother, I’m struck by how different the role of a modern grandmother is compared to the days of my own grandmothers. Back then, grandmothers were often seen as the gentle nurturers, the keepers of family recipes, and the sources of endless kisses and comfort. They were the ones who always had time, always had a warm cookie waiting, and always seemed to know exactly what to say—or what not to say!
A ROLE MODEL FOR A MODERN GRANDMOTHER
I was blessed to have two grandmothers. My paternal grandmother passed away before I was born. My grandfather remarried and I loved my step-grandmother as much as my natural grandmother. She came into our family with 14 grandchildren and survived in style!
All of us grands adored her.
Years later, after losing my late husband and remarrying, I became the grandmother to my ultimate concierge’s grandchildren. I recalled how my grandfather’s new wife treated me and I knew because of her I could be loved as much as a natural grandmother. I wish she were here for me to give her a big hug and thank her.
MY GRANDMOTHER, THE GLUE
My maternal grandmother was the glue that held my mother’s side of our family together. Her three children adored her and her grandchildren adored her, too. My grandparents had a summer home. What I loved the most was when our entire family laughed together as we sat around her dining room table gulping down her delicious meals.
My grandparents’ home was on the beach and my grandmother, with help, would bring down baskets of foods, even a grill to cook hotdogs! My cousins and I would sit under colorful umbrellas and enjoy her goodies. I miss those days. Those were the good days.
It was a simpler time, or at least it felt that way.
THE MODERN GRANDMOTHER IS NO LONGER A BACKGROUND FIGURE
Today, however, the role of a grandmother has evolved in ways that reflect the shifting sands of our society. We are no longer just the apron-clad caregivers in the background, silently supporting from the sidelines. Not us darling. We are vibrant, active participants in the lives of our children and grandchildren, and we wear many stylish hats.
Modern grandmothers are often juggling careers, hobbies, world travel, and social engagements. All while being deeply devoted to families and being examples of strength and positivity.
Our influence is visible and dynamic, as we take on roles that were once reserved for others. We are showing the world that a modern grandmother’s power extends far beyond the home.
THE MANY STYLISH HATS OF A MODERN GRANDMOTHER
One of the most significant shifts I’ve noticed is the recognition that grandmothers today are more than just nurturers. We are also educators, mentors, and role models. Our grandchildren look to us not just for comfort, but for guidance on how to navigate the modern world. We get to show them what it looks like to be a wise, life-long learner who sees the glass half full. Grandmothers now and in the past are poised to leave a lasting impression on their grands.
THE MODERN GRANDMOTHER IS DIGITAL
The way we connect with our grandchildren has also transformed. Gone are the days when a beautifully handwritten letter was sent in the post. Or when a weekly phone call—carefully scheduled during off-peak hours to avoid those hefty long-distance charges—was the primary means of communication. Now, we are Facetiming, texting, and even connecting on social media. To stay connected, we’ve learned to speak their language and to be present in their digital lives as much as in their physical ones.
ARE WE OVERLY CONNECTED?
But with these changes come new challenges. The balance between staying connected and respecting boundaries can be a delicate one. We must learn to navigate the fine line between being involved and being overbearing. It can be a struggle to let our children and grandchildren to make their own decisions—especially when we see them heading down certain paths.
The rate of estrangement in families is higher than ever for many reasons, perhaps being too connected or not connected enough has played a part. If you are struggling with family estrangement, come join our private Facebook group for estranged mothers and grandmothers.
TIPS FOR STAYING CONNECTED WITH YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN
In this fast paced world, I know how important it is to stay connected with grands. If we don’t make the effort to schedule time together, the months and years will zip by.
Making the effort to show grandchildren that we value their world helps us build relationships that we’ll cherish for years to come. Here are some ideas to connect with your grandchildren no matter how far apart you are.
Embrace Technology
Darling, don’t shy away from Facetime, texting, or social media. These platforms are where your grandchildren spend their time, so meeting them there shows that you are en
gaged in their world. It’s time to get tech savvy!
Schedule Regular Check-ins
Whether it’s a weekly video call or a simple text message, consistent communication helps maintain a strong connection. Put it on the calendar and stick to it.
Listen Without Judgement
Be a safe space for your grandchildren to share their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, all they need is someone to listen.
Create or Modify Traditions
Whether it’s a special outing or a yearly family project, pass down existing traditions, or start new ones that resonate with today’s lifestyle.
Stay Updated on Their World
Take an interest in their activities, whether it’s their favorite music, games, or school projects. Showing that you care about what matters to them fosters deeper connections.
Respect Boundaries
Balance your involvement with respecting their need for independence. Offering support without overstepping ensures a healthy relationship.
Be Flexible
Understand that life is busy, especially for your adult grandchildren. Being adaptable with your plans and expectations helps maintain positive relationships.
Send Surprise Notes or Gifts
A handwritten note, a small gift, or even a thoughtful text can brighten their day and remind them that you’re thinking of them.
THE GENERATION OF EMPOWERED GRANDMOTHERS
For me, the evolution of the role as “grandmother” brings a profound sense of empowerment. Darling, we are redefining what it means to be a grandmother. In doing so, we also shrug-off loneliness and reclaim visibility. Our generation shows the world that being a grandmother is not the end of our story, but a beautiful fresh chapter. It’s a magical stage where we continue to grow, learn, and thrive. We are the significant bridge between generations, the keepers of tradition, and the pioneers of a new way of grandmothering.
REDEFINING THE GRANDMOTHER STEREOTYPE
When most people think of a grandmother, a stereotypical image often comes to mind. I’m sure you can picture the sweet, silver-haired lady in a rocking chair, knitting away or baking cookies for her grandchildren. There’s certainly nothing wrong with these cozy images. In reality, they don’t capture the full picture of what it means to be a grandmother in today’s world. We are dynamic, multifaceted women who are breaking the mold every day.
Modern grandmothers are redefining what it means to be “grandma.” We are active, engaged, and far from the sidelines. Many of us are still thriving in our careers, traveling the world, setting goals, and pursuing hobbies that fulfill our passions. Women over 50 are as likely to be found at a Pilates class or a business meeting as we are at a family gathering.
We are showing our grandchildren—and the world—that age is just a number. Modern grandmothers live life to the fullest, while also providing love and support to our families. We are setting new standards for what it means to age gracefully and powerfully.
A MODERN GRANDMOTHER IS STRONG
A few weeks ago, my grandson surprised me by calling me “strong.” I’ve always thought my grandchildren saw me as their source of comfort and warmth, but his words made me realize that he also sees the strength within me. When he mentioned it again the next day in a text, I decided to explain: “Yes, I am strong, and my strength comes from resilience and always having hope.”
As modern grandmothers, we must embody these qualities not just for ourselves, but for our families. Life will always present challenges. People get sick. Beloved pets cross the rainbow bridge. Money comes and money goes. With resilience and hope, we can be the strong, steady presence that our loved ones need. We can show them how to walk the path of positivity through difficulty.
A MODERN GRANDMOTHER IS POSITIVE
The world doesn’t celebrate positivity. Every news channel focuses on negative stories and follows the old saying, “if it bleeds it leads.” Modern grandmothers know the power of positivity and seeing the glass half full.
I recall a tender moment with my grandson when he was just a little boy. During snack time, I filled a glass halfway and asked him whether he saw it as half empty or half full. After a thoughtful pause, he responded, “I see the glass half full, Honey.” His words filled me with joy, knowing that even at his young age, he was beginning to understand the importance of optimism.
To commemorate the moment, I raced out of the kitchen and into the room where I kept construction paper and colored markers. We made a drawing together with 4 tall glasses filled halfway and the phrase “Always see the glass half full” written at the top. Though my grandson was too young to grasp the full significance, I hoped that lesson would stay with him.
Years later I had an artist do a rendering of our art with the hope that he would hang it over his desk.
MODERN GRANDMOTHERS APPRECIATE SELF-IDENTITY
As modern grandmothers we recognize that we are not defined solely by our role as grandmothers. While it’s an incredibly important and fulfilling part of our lives, it is just one piece of the puzzle.
We’ve learned the importance of putting on our own oxygen masks first. Maintaining a strong sense of self-identity is essential not only for our own well-being but also for our ability to be the best grandmothers we can be. We are individuals with our own dreams, goals, and desires.
Being a mother and grandmother is a part of who we are, but it’s not all that we are.
MODERN GRANDMOTHERS ARE WELL-TRAVELED AND WORLDLY
Today’s grandmothers are seasoned travelers with a wealth of worldly experiences. We’ve explored different parts of the world, tasted global cuisines, and immersed ourselves in other cultures.
If we are lucky, we will introduce our grandchildren to the wonders of the world. A modern grandmother inspires curiosity and a love for learning about different cultures.
GRATEFULLY TRAVELING WITH MY GRANDS
Traveling with my grandchildren to places like London, France, and Africa has been a truly transformative experience for our family. We explored the rich history of London, the beauty of Paris, and the awe-inspiring sights of Africa and her people. We’ll never forget the lessons learned at Normandy—to protect the homeland and be proud Americans. These trips were bonding experiences creating memories that will last a lifetime.
On one of our trips, I encouraged my grandchildren to document their adventures—everyone can benefit from journaling! On the final night, we shared our entries over dinner, reflecting on our time together. I reminded them of the importance of gratitude, urging them to appreciate these opportunities and the world around them.
A MODERN GRANDMOTHER IS THE GLUE
One aspect of grandmotherhood that hasn’t changed is our role as The Glue. Just like our own grandmothers, we are the storytellers, the keepers of traditions, and the nurturers of relationships that span across time. As The Glue, we hold the family together.
GRANDMOTHERS IN FOLKLORE
In many cultures, there is a belief in the power of the family matriarch as a protector and guide—a role that is steeped in folklore.
For example, in many African and Caribbean traditions, grandmothers are often seen as the spiritual anchors of the family. They possess a deep wisdom and connection to their ancestors. Grandmothers are the ones who pass down the oral histories, the folktales, and the rituals that keep the family’s spirit alive.
MODERN GRANDMOTHERS SHARE WISDOM
In European folklore, the “wise woman” or “grandmother” figure is often depicted as the keeper of ancient knowledge. This wise woman knows all about herbs, remedies, and stories that have been passed down through generations. These grandmothers were seen as the embodiment of continuity, the glue that held the family’s history together.
BALANCING CLASSIC TRADITIONS AND MODERNITY
As grandmothers, we hold a unique position in our families, serving as a bridge between the past and the present. We are the keepers of family traditions, the ones who pass down stories, recipes, and values that have been cherished for generations.
But we are also living in a rapidly changing world.
It’s important to recognize that while traditions are valuable, they don’t have to remain static. If your grandchildren seem uninterested in your family traditions, try adapting them to fit the realities of today’s world. For example, a family recipe passed down through generations can be given a modern twist. Or, a holiday tradition can be reimagined to include new activities that resonate with younger generations.
GRANDMOTHERS AS GLUE
My grandmothers were my mentors without knowing it and the glue that held our family together. They passed down stories, recipes, and values that shaped who I am today. Now, it’s my turn to be that glue for my children and grandchildren. I wrote my book, Stories for My Grandchildren, as a way to pass down family stories, traditions, and more. Every grandmother’s story is unique and this keepsake journal helps share it with posterity. Learn more about my book here.
I will always remember the way both of my grandmothers made me feel, and I cherish the traditions they left in my safe-keeping. But I also embrace the need to adapt traditions for today’s world.
Teaching my grandchildren our traditions while encouraging them to add their own twists allows our family’s legacy to evolve.
AS A MODERN GRANDMOTHER, I’M SMILING
As I reflect on the journey of being a modern grandmother, I am filled with pride and happiness. What a gift this role is! Being the steady, loving presence that nurtures and connects our family is a role I treasure deeply. It’s one I approach with love, wisdom, and grace.
Darling, we’ve redefined what it means to be a grandmother. Modern grandmothers are blending tradition with modernity, and embracing our roles as the glue that holds our families together. We are examples of resilience, hope, and gratitude and are the heart of our families. With our loving example and with hope we will leave our footprints to shape the values and dreams of the next generation. Amen.
How does your experience as a modern grandmother differ from past generations? Tell me in the comments!
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